Broken Promises
by ThatPanicGirlE
Summary: Jacob questions his own mortality after the death of his father. Against the wishes of the love of his life, he seeks out the "different" family in town to help him solve his issues with death. Will he be able to save his relationship? Or will he give into immortality. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 1 – Breathing Deep**

_I'm scared to sleep, I'm scared to dream.  
I'm scared to wake up in case I scream.  
I'm scared to whisper one word.  
That's all it needs._

I hear it breathe, I hear it sigh.  
I hear it laughing when something dies.  
I hear it calling,  
But I'm too scared to move.

I'm so scared  
I can't breathe.

"I Can't Breathe" – Gary Numan

**All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. **

**And now I give you the dark side of Jacob Black in "Broken Promises":**

**JacobPOV**

_**June 2008**_

I couldn't believe I was here, asking them for this. I knew I was breaking every promise I had made to the one person I had left in this world. But what choice did I have? If I wanted to make sure that she was protected, I had to be able to protect her.

My father had tried to shelter me from the harsh realities of life - but the truth was, he was just a frail, breakable shell. I wanted more than that for me.

Most importantly though, for her.

And somehow, I had known that I would need to be more than human for her since the first time I held her in my arms on the cliffs...

_**May 2006**_

Bella stood on the cliff's edge overlooking the ocean. Her arms were crossed and I just knew that if I'd been seconds later, she would have been a broken girl at the bottom of that cliff. I tried so hard to not scare the shit out of her. I was sure if I did, the first thing she would do was jump. I stopped about ten feet away, debating on whether or not to run back to the house to get Charlie.

Her dark brown hair fell in slight curls down her back. She wore a short grey skirt and her pale legs showed below. You could see the trembling overcoming her body even from that far away. I didn't mean to upset her. I only asked how her mom was doing after she got off the phone with her. The look on her face was anger, fear… and I think even pain.

"Bella…" I whispered.

"Jacob, please… go away, I can't deal with you or this anymore."

"Please, Bella, give me a chance to apologize. I didn't mean anything."

She turned to me. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her cheeks were stained with tears. Her bottom lip trembled and she looked like a frightened little girl.

"Jacob, this isn't about you. I can't let her hurt me anymore. I'm so tired of the meaningless apologies, the lies… and most importantly the betrayal."

She turned back to the water's view. She was so certain she was going to do this. I saw her take a step and before she could get far, I had her in my arms holding her tight.

I held her in my arms while she cried harder than I'd ever seen anyone cry. I clung to her for dear life while her tears stained the front of my shirt. I swore to myself that from that day on, I'd never let anything or anyone else hurt her again.

"Bella…" I whispered, "I'll never do anything to hurt you, I promise you this. I'll never let you go."

**May 2008**

I stared from across the room at Bella as she shimmied her way towards me. She was wearing nothing but a silk night gown and I loved it when her dad would take off for the weekends with my dad. I could have given two shits if they ever came back. When she tried to be sexy for me, I couldn't stop myself from forgetting everything else that existed.

She sat on my lap and immediately took her lips to mine. Bella loved kissing me, I could tell just by the way her tongue would roll across my bottom lip as she sucked it between hers. We were going to spend the majority of the night having sex on every square inch of my small bedroom. She was supposed to be staying with her friend Angela, but she told Angela she had to cancel.

We've been dating for two years now. She was getting ready to graduate in less than a month, and was supposed to go off to college; but confessed to me that she didn't want to leave me. She was deathly afraid that I would let her go and Jessica Stanley would get what she wanted. I can't even imagine myself dating Jessica, let alone fucking her every single night. I'm sure by now, every guy in Forks, and maybe even La Push, has hit that by now.

The only time I feel at home is with Bella, which is only one of the reasons I could never leave her. I've never in my life felt like I fit in around here, but she's never judged me or had anything bad to say about me.

I even liked her dad a lot. I'm sure if things were different, he could have thrown my friends and me in jail more times than I could count. We had a bad habit of getting in trouble. After the last stunt we pulled and Charlie bailed us out, we decided that, from now on, we'd keep our trouble-making on the reservation. Besides, my dad would have a shit fit if I got in trouble in town again.

I guess fucking the chief's daughter, does have its perks.

My dad, Billy, has been in a wheelchair since he and my mom got into a bad accident. I've never once blamed him for it – even though he blames himself every single day. I've watched him as he wilts away a little more each day. He misses my mom terribly. I really don't remember her that much. I've tried so hard to convince him to go to the doctor lately - he's turning pale and he's been coughing more than usual -but he says that the doctor is for pussies and that all he needs to do is finally cough the shit up.

Well, he'd better hurry up because he's starting to sound like a fucking cat coughing up a hairball.

Bella laid her head into my shoulder and looked up at me with her big brown eyes. Those eyes made me want to do extremely dirty things to her. She loved batting her long eyelashes at me, knowing I would bend to her will. She could tell me stick my balls in a vice with that look and I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat.

She sighed.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"It's just that I'm so fucking sick of hearing about those damn Cullen kids. Every time I turn around, Jessica is making eyes at the auburn haired kid. All the girls think he's so fucking hot. It gets annoying. He looks like something that came out of a Goth club or some shit."

The biggest news in town right now is the arrival of this new family, the Cullens. Apparently, the father got some big time job at the hospital and moved his family from Alaska or some other really cold hell hole. What the fuck possessed him to take a job here was beyond me. I would think you'd have to be out of your fucking mind to live here. If the rain wasn't enough to drive you bat shit crazy, then the people were.

"Have you tried talking to them?"

"I have actually. The dark haired girl, Alice, is really nice. Her brother, Edward, the one Jessica wants to fuck, is a dick, though. I haven't talked to the others yet, but they all seem standoffish. Barely anyone talks to them. I feel quite sad for them, really."

Bella knew what that was like.

The kids didn't accept Bella at first. Eventually, Mike Newton decided that Bella was worthy of his attention; and after that every single human being in that school thought Bella was awesome. I don't know why his opinion mattered so much, he's just a fuckwad whose daddy owns every damn thing in this town. Funny thing was, she pretty much told over half of them to fuck off. She only stuck with a select few. I like most of her friends she has now, but some of them I could push off a cliff.

"Well, you know you could invite the Cullen kids to your graduation party."

"Fuck, Jacob, I told you! I do not want to have a damn graduation party! When are you going to get it through that gorgeous head of yours?"

She leaned to my face and kissed my temple, then down my jaw line and back up to my lips. My hands felt the silk that wrapped her body and I wanted it to be me wrapping her body instead. I think she was trying to change the subject.

It was working.

I picked her up and threw her onto my bed and she was undressed in seconds. I started in on what would be just the first of many sexual positions we'd get into that night.

I loved it when she changed the subject.

**BellaPOV**

**May 2006**

The intense urge to go numb hit me like a ton of bricks. I swore the minute I arrived in Forks I would never let my mother do the things she did to me in Phoenix. She had figured out a way to not only make me feel like absolute shit, but to make me not want to exist anymore.

I've never understood why I had allowed my mother's words to hurt me so much. She blamed me every single day for the mistakes in her life, so eventually I guess I began to believe _I_ was a mistake. Mistakes should be forgotten and done away with.

I put the phone back on the receiver. My mother had just told me that I was the worst excuse for a human being she'd ever known, and that she hoped I died and went straight to hell so I could feel what I've put her through. My decision was made to never let my mother do anymore damage to me emotionally… or physically.

Mistakes really should be forgotten and done away with.

As I walked through the living room of Billy Black's house, my lifelong friend and the one boy I could see myself with in the future, asked how my mom was doing. I looked at him and didn't say a word. I kept walking straight to the cliffs that stood near his home.

I stood with my arms folded, wondering what it would be like to fall. I watched as the ocean brought up the waves up against the cliffs and I was for the first time thankful that Charlie agreed to let me stay with him. I, for the longest time hated my father. I blamed him for running my mother off. It wasn't until I was older that I realized she ran herself off from their relationship.

I wondered if I would find peace or happiness in hitting the rocks below. I had no intentions of doing it, but Jacob thought otherwise. Before I realized what was going on, Jacob held me in his arms - and I've been there ever since.

May 2008

I've been in love with Jacob Black since the very first day I re-laid my eyes on him. We spent summers together as children, but I eventually refused to be passed off as a pawn in the divorce game. By the age of thirteen, I refused to spend the summers in Forks anymore and made my dad come see me for a week instead.

My parents, the day they got married, swore to be together forever. That all changed when my mom left Charlie. She spent the last eighteen years regretting her decisions. I've had to put up with those regrets; and I'm tired of dealing with the self-pity shit she puts me through.

Jacob and I have been joined at the hip since the day he professed his love for me the cliffs.

Jacob had taken me into his arms and said he would make sure nothing would ever hurt me again. He promised me that he'd keep all the pain and frustration away. It was a huge promise that I'd always adhere him to.

Jacob was the son any father would dream about.

Well, when he behaved.

Jacob had a bad habit of getting himself in an assload of trouble. You would think that it would make my dad deter me from even being in the same room as Jacob. However, my dad viewed Jake as the son he never had. Jacob's been so fucking lucky to have Charlie on his side.

As I lay in Jacob's arms I couldn't help but think about the conversation we had before our sex-fest began. I kept seeing the golden eyes of the five Cullens staring back at me from their newly claimed table in the cafeteria. All five of them had the palest skin. And in comparison to mine, that was something.

I tried my damndest to figure out what the big fucking deal was about these kids that interested everyone in the school. _They're just a novelty._ I thought to myself.

All the girls thought the bronze haired boy was hottest. They've swooned all over him since the day he arrived. He seemed to not pay any attention and kept to himself. The dark haired girl, Alice, seemed to be the nicest and I had US History with her.

I made a decision to figure out what they were about. First thing Monday morning, I was going to find out what their deal was.

And why it seemed like no one dared to enter a two foot space near them.

**JacobPOV**

**May 2008**

We both woke up to the sun blaring through the window of my bedroom. We knew Charlie and Dad wouldn't be back for a bit longer, but to keep from being busted, we got up, showered and dressed.

I watched Bella eat a bowl of Rice Krispies at the table while I sipped on my glass of orange juice. I couldn't believe she was about to graduate from high school. I was thankful that she made it through the past two years without wanting to jump off a cliff… again.

Bella won't ever tell Charlie, or anybody else as a matter of fact, how unhappy she was. Her mother had done some real fucked up emotional and physical damage to her throughout her childhood. She hides the pain very well; and if it wasn't for that day on the cliffs, I would have never known exactly what she's been through.

The week before Bella moved to Forks she found her mom on the bathroom floor, unresponsive. Bella completely freaked out and called for help. After she got off the phone, her mother came to. Renee was drunk - beyond fucked up - and when Bella told her that she had an ambulance coming, her mom immediately went into hysterics and slapped Bella into the tub. Bella hit her head and was knocked unconscious.

She heard her mom tell the EMTs that the call was a mistake, which she had just been asleep and her daughter had freaked out. Bella was in and out of consciousness, but her mom left her in the tub for hours. When Bella came to, she found her mom sitting at the kitchen counter as though nothing happened. She even asked Bella if she wanted to go to dinner.

Apparently this kind of thing happened all the time. Her mom would go into a fit of rage, take it out on Bella and then act like nothing had ever happened.

Looking at Bella as she smiled at me from across the table made me realize how far she's come. All the physical scars left her a long time ago, and finally the emotional ones were taking the back seat.

We waited patiently on our dads to get home from their trip. Bella's become closer to Charlie over the past year. I'm glad she finally realizes that not everyone in life is out to hurt her.

I was planning a graduation party at my house for Bella and she was acting like she hated it. But even though she hated the thought of it, it seemed to bring a smile to her face. She even picked out some of the decorations, and tried to play it off like she was just appeasing me.

I heard two car doors slam and knew that our dads were home. They were actually earlier than they should have been, so I was grateful I got Bella up and out of bed. She smiled at me and put her bowl in the sink. As she walked by me, she kissed the top of my head.

I watched as she walked away. The way her ass looked in the jeans she was wearing made me glad that my own pants were loose. She has way more sex appeal about herself than I think she realized. All the girls in Forks only wished they could be as hot as her.

I got up and joined the rest of the crew outside while Charlie and my dad showed Bella the catch of the weekend.

Dad looked pale. I know he's been feeling bad the past couple of weeks, but today he looked worse than normal.

"Charlie, how's my dad been this weekend? He doesn't look so hot."

Charlie looked over at Billy and shook his head.

"I've been after him all weekend. His cough seems to have gotten worse. You might want to take him to see a doctor soon."

"Thanks Charlie, I'll make an appointment first thing in the morning."

"You'll do no such thing," Billy fussed. "I'm perfectly fine. I've just got some kind of summer allergy. Doctors are for pussies."

Charlie laughed and Bella blushed. If there was anything my father was, it wasn't tight lipped. He would let the obscenities fly in a heartbeat. Bella should be immune to it by now but every once in a while he'll catcher her off her guard.

Bell and Charlie gathered up the fishing supplies while I helped get my dad into the house. His coughing was worse and if I wasn't mistaken, when he pulled his handkerchief away from his mouth, I noticed a tinge of blood on it.

First thing in the morning, he's going to the doctor. I'll just deal with being called a pussy later.

**June 2008**

Bella stood with her face in her hands. She wouldn't even look at me.

My decisions were my own and I knew that this one would come with consequences. I wanted to tell her how much more this was about her than me, but she wouldn't hear it. She just kept telling me that I broke my promise to her. I tried to pull her close to me and she snatched herself out of my arms.

She looked at me with her red, teary eyes and said, "Jacob Black, of all the people in this world who I thought would fuck me over, you were the very last on a long list of names. I'll never forgive you for this. I hope you enjoy living in hell."

And with that, Bella Swan, the girl of my dreams and the love of my life, walked away from me

.********************

**A/N: I hope everyone can keep up with my flashes forward and backwards. In the next couple of chapters I'll do it some more just to give you a hint of what's going on. Once something major happens though, it will only flash back every once in a while. **


	2. Chapter 2

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 2 – My Own Worst Fears**

**JacobPOV**

_The rain was coming down in sheets as I stood overlooking the cliff I had gotten Bella down from years ago. I stood over the edge, watching the waves crash against the rocks below. Bella was behind me begging me to not jump - but the overwhelming feeling of agony kept pulsing through my body. The more she yelled at me, the quieter her voice got. She finally fell silent and the waves stood still... The rain drops stopped, caught in mid air. I jumped…_

I woke up to my dad calling my name. I had no idea how long he'd been yelling, but I instantly jumped up out of bed. His voice was distressed. I ran down the hallway and found my dad sitting up in his bed - the front of his shirt covered in blood. I went into panic mode.

I called 911 and as soon as I disconnected the call, I rang Charlie. I was sure he'd have his scanner on, and I knew the instant he heard my address I knew he'd be concerned. He answered the phone groggily.

I told Charlie what was going on and he asked if Billy was still breathing and I said yes, he was, but he was shaking.

It took no time at all for Charlie to get to the house, despite living almost twenty minutes away. He got there just behind the ambulance.

The ambulance ride to the hospital was the worst thing I've ever had to endure. They put a plastic tube down my dad's throat to clear his airway. He looked so bad. His dark skin was turning shades of grey and white. I thought I was watching my dad die right in front of me.

_Please for the love of God don't take my dad right now,_ I kept thinking to myself as we flew down the road.

Right behind us was Charlie, in the police car. We were given a full police escort to the hospital.

They stopped at the entrance to the emergency room. The paramedics jumped out and rushed my dad into the ER. Charlie ran up to the doors, yelling at the nurses to come help my dad.

They immediately took dad into a room and surrounded him with curtains. I noticed a blonde doctor that looked more like a model than a doctor walk behind the curtain. The nurse came over to me and asked if could give her some more information. I tried my hardest to concentrate on what she was asking me and what they were doing to my father at the same time.

An eternity flew by before one of the nurses came to me and Charlie and said that dad was stable if we'd like to see him. Finally, we were allowed behind that curtain.

**BellaPOV**

Life at the Swan household was always very quiet. Charlie pretty much minded his own business and only asked important questions. He's never had to worry about me the entire time I've been here. I've worked to maintain that type of foundation. In comparison to Renee, Charlie was a walk in the park. At least when he comes home at night, it's at a decent time - and from work. My mom would come home at all hours of the night from who knows where.

I was really worried about Billy. He had seemed to get worse over the past couple of weeks. Jacob would get him taken care of, though. If there was one person in this world I could credit with being willing to sacrifice anything for the ones he loves, it's Jacob. He loves his dad so much. Seeing him that way makes me feel better about us.

I had it planned out in my mind how the rest of my relationship with Jacob would go. Most of the girls I know were planning out their college routines while I secretly planned my wedding with Jacob. I knew that I had years before this would happen, especially since Jacob had one more year left of school. But in my mind, Jacob was the guy I would marry and settle down with.

I was asleep when Charlie appeared in my doorway. He looked shaken.

"Bells, I've got to go to Billy's house. Jacob found him sick in bed. Apparently he's coughing up blood."

"Oh hell, really? Is Jacob ok?"

Dad shook his head yes. "Jacob's called for an ambulance and I'm going to meet it at his house. I'll call you later with updates."

I shook my head at him and pulled my hair back from around my face with a hair tie. I was quite shaken myself. Billy was like my second father and had always treated me like a daughter. His daughters were adults now, living in different states.

I got up and watched my dad race out of the driveway and out into the darkness. I watched as the rain fell in sheets and hoped that Billy would be ok.

Morning came so early. I had not heard from my dad, and I took that as a bad sign. I left a message down at the hospital for Dad to call me at school if it was serious enough for me to sign out early. I hated to miss another day of school.

I'd already missed so much time. I still had issues in dealing with the cold and rain and ended up with pneumonia earlier this year.

I had to be there or I could forget about graduation.

I kept my promise to myself to see what the big fucking deal was over the Cullens.

I watched as Alice Cullen almost danced her way into the classroom. She moved with such grace - and I was jealous of her - I'd always been the clumsy one who was prone to bust my ass in public.

As she walked by she smiled at me.

She took the seat right next to me and said, "Hi, Bella, right?"

She looked like a little pixie and I couldn't help but smile at her.

"Yeah, and you're Alice?"

"Yes I am. I was hoping you'd talk to me soon. You seem like a really nice person."

She flashed a grin at me and her teeth were the whitest shade I've ever seen.

I felt… at ease around her.

"Thanks. How do you like Forks?" I asked.

"I hate it. The rain is just unbearable. I thought my dad was absolutely ape-shit crazy when he decided that we move here."

"You lived in Alaska right?"

"Yeah, word does travel fast around here doesn't it?"

Our history teacher asked that we pair up. Jessica glanced my way, assuming I'd pair with her, but I paired with Alice instead. Jessica got pissed and asked that fucker Newton to be her partner. I could almost guarantee she'd be offering him something after school for this.

Alice moved her desk closer to me but I noticed a significant gap between us. She seemed like she couldn't get close to me, but I just let it go.

We talked more about her family and about her love for shopping. Even though I'd never been one to discuss fashion she seemed to enjoy it, so I entertained her. I couldn't come up with a reason to dislike her.

_Maybe they just keep to themselves. Maybe I'm just overreacting._

It was almost time for school to be over. Alice looked over at me and said, "Oh by the way, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's father."

She was right, word did spread. However, I had forgotten who her dad was.

"Thanks, it's been rough on my dad and Jacob."

"Well maybe after things work themselves out, we all could get together for a movie or something."

"Sure, I'd love that. Jacob needs to see what happens with his dad first, but then we'll decide."

She smiled. I felt awful for misjudging the Cullens. Well, at least one of them anyway.

**JacobPOV**

I peeked my head around the curtain and there was my father, attached to so many tubes and machines. My heart broke. Almost all my life has been spent taking care of my father. It's something I'd grown accustomed to; but as I watched the heart monitor beep and the ventilator rise and fall, I felt more and more like my responsibilities were about to increase one-hundred fold.

The entire night flew by while the blonde doctor came in and out of the room asking questions and ordering more and more tests. He only talked to Charlie and then Charlie would relay the messages to me in layman terms.

Bella finally showed up at the hospital after school got out.

She came straight up to me and took me into her arms. She looked so worried about the whole situation. She looked like she had gotten very little sleep.

"How are you Jacob?" she asked me.

She was looking up at me through those long eyelashes again. I felt kind of bad sporting a semi - but I couldn't help it when she looked at me like that. At least she got me out of the depressed mindset I had fallen into the minute I walked in Billy's room.

"I'm better now that you're here. They still have no idea what is going on. They've ordered so many tests."

A whole afternoon passed by before the doctor came back to us. Finally right at sunset, he made his appearance. Bella kind of gasped, but when I looked at her she changed her expression to a curious look.

"Hello, you must be Jacob. I'm Dr. Cullen."

Cullen. That was the name that Bella told me about. This must be what the fuss was all about. He looked like the type of guy women would beat the shit out of each other just for the chance to sit next to him in the hospital cafeteria. I also noticed he was wearing a wedding band, so that must have been hell on all those middle aged spinster nurses.

"Yes sir, I am. What is wrong with my dad?"

"Well, we think we may have an idea but we need to run more tests. Has your dad been sick recently?"

"He's been coughing up a storm lately, but I thought it was due to the summer months coming on. He always had issues with his allergies."

"Well we can't be sure yet what it is, so I don't want to give you any wrong information. We'll know shortly."

The doctor walked away and I put my head into my hands. Bella grabbed my arm and cuddled up to me. She had been crying in intervals and I hated seeing her this way. She was sad for me, and it made me feel like a fucking putz that I couldn't even shed a tear myself. I think it all boiled down to trying to be strong for everyone. Even Charlie wiped away a tear at the sight of my dad.

We all must have fallen asleep. The sounds of a nurse taking my dad's vitals woke me up. It was six in the morning and Dr. Cullen entered the room.

"Jacob," Bella and Charlie sat up wiping their eyes. "I'm afraid we have some not so good news."

My stomach instantly twisted into a gigantic knot. _Please don't let it be anything serious, please don't. I can't do this. I can't lose him._

"I'm sorry to say that we've found your father to have almost no white blood cells in his body. After I reviewed the CT scan and x-ray of his chest, your father's lung cancer has worsened."

It hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. I even felt the rush of air leave my lungs as though it had even happened.

"What do you mean worsened? He's never been sick a day in his life. I don't understand," I hissed back at him.

"The last time your father came to the hospital, the cancer had spread to the lower part of his lungs. It seems as though its spread even further."

I couldn't believe this. My dad knew he was sick and didn't want to say anything. I wanted to hate him - but the agonizing pain that was consuming me wouldn't let me do that. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and wait for all of it to go away.

"Apparently, it's in the final stages."

Again another wave of anguish hit me and I couldn't control my emotions anymore. I wanted to pick up the chair and throw it across the room, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good. Instead I sat down hard in it, put my head into my hands and began to cry.

"How much time does he have left?" Charlie asked.

I couldn't even bear to hear the answer.

"It could be three weeks, it could be three months. We just don't know"

I looked up at Dr. Cullen. "Can't you start Chemo?"

I'm only seventeen years old and I am being asked to make a decision for my own father's mortality?

"Dr. Cullen, can Jacob even make that decision? He's only a boy."

I looked at Charlie who glanced at me. He was trying to take this decision off me. I felt relieved and remorseful.

"I suppose you are right, Chief Swan. We should contact the next oldest kin."

I'd not even thought of calling Rebecca and Rachel. One of them would have to make this decision. Charlie looked at me as he reached in his pocket, pulled out his cell phone and walked out the curtain and away from earshot of the conversation.

He was gone for twenty minutes. Meanwhile, Dr. Cullen was explaining the chemotherapy treatments and how they would work. He also said that at this stage, it would only prolong the inevitable.

_The inevitable was that my father was going to die - and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it._

Charlie finally came back in.

"I talked to both Rebecca and Rachel. They are calling the discharge planner's desk to arrange hospice care for your dad.

"Hospice care? You mean that they said no to the treatment? They are going to have some nurse come to our house just to help him die?"

Charlie shook his head.

I was in shock. Rebecca and Rachel just decided that my dad should die? How could they? This was beyond not fair. I couldn't bear the thought of it - not again. I've already lost my mother. Now I'm about to watch the man I loved more than anything in this world, wilt away before my eyes?

I couldn't comprehend all this.

"We can arrange for Billy to be put into hospice care house," Dr. Cullen said.

"No. I don't want him spending his last days in some death hole. If he's going to die, I want him being in the one place that always made him happy."

My dad built our house for my mom on the land that his father gave him. It was in our family for years and Dad took great pride in our land. I knew he would only want it that way.

Dr. Cullen handed me the paperwork on the hospice care and how it worked. I watched as the nurses came in to check on my dad. He was in and out of consciousness. He'd make sounds but nothing seemed to make sense.

I held his hand each time he'd wake up and each time I felt like he was slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do about it.

I could never say goodbye to him the way I always wanted to.

Bella held me tight and I kissed the top of her forehead. It seemed that Charlie and Bella would be my family now, and I hated to impose myself on them.

**BellaPOV**

Days seem to pass slowly as Billy's condition worsened.

I mentioned to Jacob the idea of hanging out with the Cullen kids. He gave me a hard time for talking so much shit about them before. I told him I was under the influence of peer pressure then, and that I actually liked Alice.

Billy still came in and out of consciousness and each time he would cough, Jacob would flinch. The three of us knew that the end was near. I never actually thought much about what happens when you die. I hated watching someone who I cared about do it right in front of me. I was sure Jacob couldn't handle it either.

More days passed, and before we realized it, graduation was only a week away. I was sad that Billy wouldn't be able to watch me graduate. I told Jacob he didn't have to come if he didn't want to. The school he attended let him finish out the year doing home study.

Jacob said that he would be there for me. The hospice nurse had agreed to watch Billy while he was out. I knew that this would be so hard on Jacob.

I assumed the graduation party was off, and I was more than okay with that. Jacob needed to focus on his dad's health more than anything.

I went by the school to pick up my cap and gown, and ran into the Cullen kids. Alice, Edward and Jasper were a year behind me and Rosalie and Emmett were seniors. Alice saw me and ran straight up to me.

She gave me a huge hug - lingering for a moment, which made me a little uncomfortable.

"Bella, I'm so sorry to hear about Jacob's dad. How's Jacob taking it?"

"He's dealing the best way he knows how, I guess. He barely leaves his dad's side."

Alice smiled, teeth still gleaming white. "Why don't you suggest that he get out of the house for a while? Maybe take a walk or something?"

"That's a great idea. I'm sure we could go on the trails near his house. At least it would keep him from developing cabin fever."

I looked over my shoulder at Edward. He was staring at us.

He has this hungry look in his eye – like I was something to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 3 – Bigger and Stronger**

I wanna be bigger, stronger, drive a faster car,  
To take me anywhere in seconds,  
To take me anywhere I wanna go,  
And drive around my faster car,  
I will settle nothing less,  
I will settle nothing less.

I think I want to change my altitude  
I think I want to change my position  
I think I want to change my atmosphere

Coldplay – Bigger Stronger

**JacobPOV**

_**Six Months Ago**__**:**_

"_Jake, I've been doing some thinking," Dad said as we finished dinner._

_He had a serious look on his face and I was concerned I'd done something wrong… again._

"_I want you to be prepared for the day, when it comes, that I won't be here anymore to help you."_

"_Dad, I'm not sure I want to have this conversation right now." My eyes were pleading. I've always been very close to my dad and the mere thought of him no longer being with me was more than I could stomach._

"_Jacob, I'm not always going to be around. You've got to consider all the things you'll need to do. Rachel and Rebecca will help as much as they can, but you'll be in charge of this house and the land. I'm leaving it to you."_

"_I'm not ready to have this conversation yet, and I won't be for a very long time, so can we please just stop talking about it?"_

_Dad sighed. "Maybe later then."_

**May 2008**

I sat beside my Dad's bed reading "A Certain Slant of Light," a book Bella suggested to me. I've never been much of a reader but since I have nothing else to do except watch my father wilt away in front of me, I felt it would help at least keep my mind at bay for some time.

The more I read the book, the deeper in a depression I found myself in. Once Bella realized the book she'd given me, she instantly snatched it out of my hands and told me not to read it anymore. It was a story about losing someone you love – exactly the kind of book I really did not need to read.

I had a hard time dealing with the fact that my dad knew that he was sick. I questioned everything he'd done the past six months and realized that he was hiding it well. He tried to tell me but I couldn't take listening to it. I wish now that I hadn't spent so much time trying to shut him up.

I found out a couple of days after he arrived home that in fact Dad was leaving the house and land to me. I wasn't able to stake claim to it until I turned eighteen but the mere fact that he thought I was the one to have it made me feel like he truly appreciated the things I'd done to help him.

I also thought about the not so nice things I'd done in the past.

Before Bella, I was in with a crowd of guys who thought they were badasses. One day, they said that it would be a great idea to graffiti a side of the rec center on the reservation and, of course, I went along with it like a dumbass. As I heard the sirens wailing, all the boys took off… except me.

That started my long line of issues with the cops. Everything from petty theft to assault and battery began to accumulate on my rap sheet. I always worried that I'd end up in jail or worse. It wasn't until Bella that I finally calmed down. She told me she loved having a bad ass boyfriend, but not one that thought he was a badass. Her dad knew about my history, but saw what Bella had done to calm me down, so he didn't fight the situation much.

I waited patiently for Dad's nurse to show up. She was highly recommended by Dr. Cullen.

I had begun to develop a relationship with the hospice nurse as the days dragged on. Her name was Tanya, and was very young looking for a nurse. She was also very pretty - with golden eyes and a really gorgeous smile. For a second, I thought she could be related to my dad's doctor.

Tanya was very kind and very warm to my dad and me. She would bring me a cheeseburger each day even though that wasn't her responsibility. She would always ask about my home schooling and if I needed any help with the assignments.

I hated to see her leave each afternoon. It seemed like she was the only one who could really do something for my dad.

Bella and Charlie all but moved into my house. I felt bad having them spend so much of their own time helping me with my issues. Bella said she didn't mind and that she only hoped that one day she could take that great care of her dad.

I hoped she would never feel the pain I was feeling though.

I wondered if she already had, though. It was strange, the connection that Bella and I shared.

It all started when we were kids. I was in the front yard playing in dirt when I swore I heard Bella call my name. I looked around and didn't see her anywhere. Then clear as day I heard her scream loud. I jumped up from my dirt hole and ran straight towards her scream.

I found Bella trapped between a very vicious dog and a tree. She couldn't move and I was sure the dog was going to attack her. I picked up a heavy rock and hurled it at the dog. It hit square on his head and the dog yelped and ran straight into the woods.

Bella looked at me with wide eyes. "Jacob, how did you know where to find me?"

"I just heard you scream and ran straight to you."

"Jake, I didn't scream."

I've always been able to feel Bella's emotions. I can tell when she's really happy and when she's really sad. The day I talked her down from the cliffs, I felt her as she walked by and felt nothing. It was the first time in our friendship I couldn't feel her pain or happiness. She felt… numb. I've never told Bella bout this strange connection that I had with her – I was afraid she would discount it or just think I was crazy.

The Friday before Bella's graduation was the worst day I'd had to endure with my Dad yet. Tanya was running late because one of her patients died that morning and my dad's pain medicine began to wear off.

He woke up and we talked for a few minutes – his speech barely a whisper. I noticed the muscles in his arms were tightening up. He was gripping the sheet with all his might - trying to not let me see how much pain he was in.

I tried to pat his face with a cool wet washcloth, but it didn't seem to help.

I stood at his bedside, not knowing how to help him. I wanted to take away every single bit of the pain he had flowing through his body.

He was twitching and clenching his teeth. He started pawing at his IV where the tubs were attached and I just knew he was going to burst the tubing.

"Dad, please stop, you're going to rip your IV out. Please, Dad, just stop!" I cried.

Finally, my dad let out a scream unlike anything I'd ever heard before.

It sounded like wounded animal begging to die.

I felt sick.

My stomach tied in knots and then Billy stopped abruptly.

He must have been in so much pain he passed out from it.

I immediately called Tanya on her cell phone and she said she was only a minute away.

I heard as she ran up the steps to my house - knowing it was her by the sound of her footsteps. She was at my dad's before I even realized what was going on.

She reached into her bag and pulled out his dose of pain medication. She snapped the vial that was attached to the bag swiftly - I had seen other nurses struggle with it numerous times - and hung the bag from the pole on the IV pump, and connected the tubing to the line. Once the liquid began to drip into the tubing, she checked his vitals. His pulse was a little elevated, but his breathing had slowed again.

I looked at her with tears running down my face. I wanted so badly to crawl into a hole and die right along with my father. The pain that I felt and guilt that I had put on myself had reached the point wehre it was unbearable.

I left my father's side to collect myself. Bella was at graduation practice and Charlie wasn't due to get off work for another two hours. I felt so isolated. Even though my friends on the reservation were being very supportive, I couldn't find it in me to leave my dad to even visit them. It was such a lonely feeling.

I heard Tanya walk through the house and then exit the front door; the screen door slamming behind her. She took a seat next to me on the steps.

"Jacob, I'm sorry someone your age has to go through something like this. You should be out enjoying your life and your friends."

"Yeah, fucking tell me about it," I said as I wiped my eyes.

She grinned at me. "You know, my parents died a really long time ago. I never really had a chance to grieve them, but you do eventually find a way to move on with your life."

I glared at her for a minute. She had no idea how I felt inside. I'm sure she'd seen tons of kids lose their parents to this disease more times than I'd like to know. But I was certain she couldn't have known what I was thinking.

I looked over at Tanya who was staring off into space.

"Tanya, you know what I'd love more than anything in the world?"

"Another cheeseburger?" she said as she nudged me.

"Not exactly. I wish we never had to suffer. More importantly, I wish we could live forever."

Her lips pursed together as she shook her head.

"Jacob, I don't think you're right, there. Humans were meant to live and die. It's the circle of life. If you mess with that, things can get… complicated."

"How can they get complicated? You don't die. There are no complications in that."

She wasn't grinning anymore.

"Jacob, I hate repeating myself, so please, listen to what I'm saying. Humans are meant to live and die. It's against the laws of nature for that circle to be broken. Just keep your soul in check."

And with that last bit of friendly advice, she got in her car and left.

_Humans are meant to live and die._

Those words plagued me for the rest of the night. She hadn't said "we're supposed" or "people are supposed" – she distinctly said "humans – as if she were something else.

**BellaPOV**

Our mock graduation went according to plan. It was actually quite boring and I couldn't wait until it was over so I could go help Jacob. Alice was practically begging me to go out shopping with her tonight for a dress to wear to graduation.

As much as I loved Alice, she was beginning to annoy the piss out of me.

I finally had to firmly tell her no, and that I had to go see Jacob to make sure he didn't need anything.

She finally gave up and said, "Fine, I'll see you tomorrow then."

I got into my truck that Jacob built me. It was the sweetest gift I'd ever been given. I'd been complaining for weeks after my seventeenth birthday that I was tired of being chauffeured around in a police cruiser. The night of my birthday, I thought Jake was leading me into the garage to have a quickie on the workbench when I saw the truck.

Needless to say, the quickie did happen, just inside the cab of the truck instead.

I pulled into Jake's yard and he was sitting on the porch with his face in his hands. He didn't even look up at me to say hello. I slammed the door to my truck closed, hoping that would arouse his interest but still nothing.

I took a seat next to him and wrapped my arms around the huge muscles he possessed in his arms. Finally he said, "Bella, I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

I squeezed his arm tight, "What do you mean?"

"Everything I once thought I knew about life is falling apart right in front of me. Fuck, Bella, I sit here each and every day watching the one person I loved more than anything slowly slip away from me and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I feel so helpless, and it's so not fair that I can't do anything about it."

I pulled his head down to my shoulder and just held him while he cried. I cried right along with him. I didn't know exactly how Jake felt, but seeing the one person I loved more than anything suffer made my heart hurt, too.

We sat there until my dad arrived in the police cruiser. He sat down with us on the porch, the three of us barely saying a word until right at sun down. Charlie wanted to take us out to dinner, but Jake wouldn't leave the house. Sue Clearwater, a friend of Billy's, offered to stay with Billy long enough for us to go.

Finally, after much persuasion, Jacob agreed.

It was so unsettling to watch him scarf his food down while tapping his foot like he was in a hurry to get home. I finally couldn't take it anymore and gave up on eating my dinner. Dad finished his and we went back to the house.

So much for celebrating my graduation.

I once again fell asleep on the couch. I brought all my items with me to get ready for my big day. I almost hated that my senior year was coming to an end.

I fell asleep watching the clock blink over the TV. Jacob woke me up around two in the morning and I was sure something was wrong.

"Jacob, what's wrong? Is Billy ok?"

"Billy's fine. I just need to talk to you."

I sat up, stretched and then rubbed my eyes.

"Couldn't this wait till morning Jacob? I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow."

He groaned and stood up to go back to his room. I grabbed his hand. I didn't mean to brush him off but when I'm woken up in the middle of the night, I get really cranky.

He sat down on the couch next to me and grabbed my hand fully into his.

"Bella, thank you."

"For what Jacob?"

"For keeping me sane. I'm sorry I couldn't throw your graduation party, but I wanted to give you something anyway."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

He sat it on my knee and I looked at him and smiled.

"Jake, you shouldn't have."

"Yes, I should have. You deserve it for all the hard work you've done the past couple of years. Besides, you needed something to show off tomorrow."

I opened the box and gasped. It was a necklace, black and white cultured pearls alternating along the strand. It must have cost Jake a fortune.

I smiled and hugged him tight.

"It's beautiful Jake. I can't believe you got this for me. It looks so expensive."

"I don't know if it was or not. It was my mother's."

His face fell a bit. I smiled at him and looked up - the way I knew to make him feel better. He smiled again and kissed me hard on the lips.

He pulled away and put his forehead to mine.

"Bella, I don't know how I'm going to handle this when my dad is gone."

"Babe, we'll get through it. Just like you helped me so long ago, it's now my turn to help you."

He smiled. "Bella, I would do anything on this earth to keep you safe, you know that. I wish our lives could go on forever so I could hold you like this for the rest of eternity."

"Me too Jacob, me too."

"What would you do if you could live forever?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say. I'd never really thought about living forever. I knew that once your life was done, you had to go on. It was all a part of living.

"I don't know Jacob. Hold you, let you tell me how much you love me. That would be an awesome way to spend forever."

I didn't even realize it, but we fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch that night. Charlie didn't say a word when he woke us up the next morning. He only shook my foot to remind me that I had a big day. By this afternoon, I would be a certifiable graduate of Fork's High School.

As I walked across the stage later that afternoon, my heart felt heavy with sadness. I wanted to see Billy's smiling face out in the crowd when I graduated. He played such a huge part in my life. It didn't seem right he couldn't be here.

I told Jacob he didn't have to come if he didn't want to.

He said that he would be there - that the hospice nurse had agreed to watch Billy while he was out. I could see Jacob from where I sat during the ceremonies and he kept watching the time. I knew he needed to get home to his dad, and I hated to see him so distracted by his pain. It wasn't fair for him to go through this.

By the time I reached my seat, I looked back to see that Jacob had already left. I knew he couldn't stay gone too long and I knew I'd see him after the ceremony anyway.

Alice came straight over to me after she watched her brother and sister walk across the stage. Rosalie and Emmett looked gorgeous, even in our goofy graduation caps and gowns.

"Bella, look at you! And look at those pearls! Did Jacob give you those?"

"Yeah he did. They were his mother's."

Alice smiled. She was standing closer to me than she ever had. I felt like she was finally warming up to me.

"Was that Jacob I saw clapping for you?"

"Yeah that was him. He left early though to get back to his dad."

"Maybe today would be a good day to take him on that walk," Alice said.

"You're right. Everyone will be at the house, anyway. My dad felt bad about Jacob not being able to throw me a party, so he's having a couple of family friends over for cake. You and your family should come over. I'd love to have you."

Alice smiled. "Bella, you are a doll - but my family's got this big thing planned this afternoon. Besides, my douchebucket of a brother has been begging me to go to a movie."

I looked over and saw Edward flashing his teeth again. I felt a shiver run up my spine. Something wasn't quite right with him. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I was determined to figure out his deal.

**JacobPOV**

Watching my girl walk across the stage to receive her diploma was hands down the most thrilling experience of my life. And it had to be the highlight of what was turning out to be the shittiest time in my life too.

Rachel and Rebecca were working out a way to get to Forks to see our dad. They called every single day, if not twice a day, to check on him. They were even trying to come for Bella's graduation, but couldn't make it. We were expecting them next week.

I tried my damndest to be happy for Bella, but I was tearing up inside. With each second that passed, I felt like I was missing precious time with my dad. Finally after she walked across the stage, I stood and clapped for her, then quietly disappeared to go home.

She came over after the ceremony was complete and we both sat with my dad. We talked about how we still couldn't believe Jessica Stanley even graduated. We came up with the theory that she wore shorter skirts in her classes that had male teachers and it helped a bit. We laughed to ourselves as Billy's breathing became more labored.

Finally, Bella looked at me and said,

"Jacob, how about we go for a walk? It's a really nice afternoon outside. Charlie is here with your dad. You need a break."

"Bella, I had a break when I went to your graduation. That's more than enough time to be away from my dad."

She looked defeated. Then she did it.

She lowered her face and stared at me through those long eyelashes. Her big brown eyes mesmerized me, and I agreed to go with her.

We walked hand in hand through the winding paths that we used to take all the time. The sun shone down through the trees and the sky was a bright blue. The further we got into the woods,though, the darker the overhang of the trees became. I was pretty sure I heard something growl, but I thought that maybe it was my imagination and we kept walking.

We slowly walked up a hill. Bella was explaining how Angela wanted her to move in with her while she was in community college. When we got to the top, Bella stopped dead in her tracks. I hadn't been paying attention to where we were walking.

She put her hand over her mouth and gasped.

Standing right in front of us were two people - an older teenage boy and girl. Both were covered in blood and both held what looked like a deer that had been torn in half.

"Alice!" Bella screamed as she fainted into my arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 4 – Out of Time**

**A/N: So last time I left you guys, Jacob and Bella came upon two teens covered in blood and holding a dead deer. I'm sure you could suspect who they were. It definitely is an "oh shit" moment for the Cullens.**

_When you say it's gonna happen now,  
Well, when exactly do you mean?  
See I've already waited too long  
And all my hope is gone_

I am Human and I need to be loved  
Just like everybody else does

_How Soon Is Now – The Smiths_

**JacobPOV**

I caught Bella in my arms as she fell to the ground. Staring back were two sets of golden eyes. I had no idea what we had just walked up on, but this I had a feeling this could not end well.

I had all intentions of picking Bella up and running as far away with her as I could. But before Bella passed out she said a name, "Alice."

I turned to this supposed Alice that was busy cleaning herself off. She pulled wipes out of her pocket and this seemed odd to me.

If someone was a carnivorous fiend, then why the fuck was she carrying wet naps?

She carefully walked towards me while the guy she was with grabbed a wet nap and cleaned himself off.

"You must be Jacob. Is Bella ok?"

I looked down and saw that Bella was coming to. She looked up at me, and then she looked to her left and saw Alice. She sat up and immediately tried to flee. I grabbed her and held her behind me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I scared you," Alice said.

"What the fuck was that? And what the hell are you doing?" Bella screamed at Alice.

For the first time I got a real good look at Alice. I noticed her skin was very pale in comparison to Bella, which seemed impossible. Her eyes were changing from dark golden to more of a light golden color. Her lips were a deep shade of red and her teeth were whiter than freshly fallen snow. She had black hair and that only accented her paleness.

Her companion looked like a carbon copy as far as looks were concerned. However, his hair was a bronze color. He was very well dressed. Hell, both of them were very well dressed.

The girl was even wearing high heels.

Heels in the woods? I've never seen anything like that in my entire life.

"Bella, please, you have to listen to me," Alice said.

"Alice, just go ahead and fucking kill her already," the boy behind her said. "We don't need eye witnesses. Way to keep a look out, sis."

My defense mechanisms were in place and I was ready to fight to the death for us.

"Edward, shut your fucking pie hole. I'm not going to kill them. I actually like Bella. She's the only girl that talks to me at school."

Alice then turned her attention back to us. She smiled at Bella.

"Sweetie, I'm not going to hurt you. I don't even like the taste of human blood anymore."

I was really about to go into freak out mode. Alice was making light of the situation. This guy was ready to have us killed, yet Bella seemed to calm down a bit.

"What do you mean you don't prefer the taste of humans _anymore_?"

Her companion laughed, "She's totally lying. She'd give anything to taste a human again. But we're so fucking used to these damn animals, it wouldn't be pretty."

"Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on here?" Bella asked.

She was standing beside me now instead of behind me. Alice walked up to Bella and she seemed less threatening than when we walked up on them.

She got about two feet in front of us and stopped. She smiled and the white below her lips shined even more.

"Bella, sweetie… well I guess you could kind of figure out what we are by now."

"You're… those people that eat raw meat?"

Alice burst into laughter. She looked deep into Bella's eyes.

"No, you can't be they don't exist…"

Alice shook her head yes. Edward threw his hands up in the air and shook his head. He then put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezed.

"Way to go Alice. I'll let you be the one to explain to Carlisle how you single handedly just destroyed every fucking thing we've built. Now you'll have to kill your friends and then we'll have to move… again. You know, for a fucking psychic, you suck at this."

"I suck at this. You are the one that can read minds. Where the fuck is your senses now?"

Edward glared at Alice.

Alice smiled back at her companion. "Edward… please."

Her friend, Edward, looked at Alice and anger enraged him.

"You knew they were coming didn't you? Fuck, Alice, are you trying to get us in trouble?"

"But Edward," she whined, "I never make any new friends. Bella and I are going to be close friends one day and I just want you to let me have this, please?"

"Ok I'm totally fucking confused here, and if someone doesn't explain to me what the hell is going on, I'm getting out of this forest," Bella said.

Alice smiled again, "Bella… Edward and I belong to a small coven of vampires. My father, mother Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper… we're all vampires."

"Vampires don't exist Alice. You are just trying to scare me. I swear I won't tell anyone about your diet. But can you please let Jacob and I go?"

Bella and I turned to leave, but before I knew it, Alice was up in a tree. Then she was on the ground…and then in the tree again. It seemed as though she was moving and we couldn't see it. Edward was giggling to himself.

"So Bella, believe me now?" Alice asked as she stopped mere inches from the two of us.

Then Alice reached for Bella's arm. Bella flinched but I couldn't move to protect her fast enough. Alice already had Bella in her arms while they sat on a tree limb. Before I knew it, Bella was right beside me again.

"Alice, what the hell?" I asked.

Bella bent over and started to gag. Apparently she got motion sickness.

"Oh, sorry about that Bella. I forgot that it normally makes humans sick to travel that fast."

"So you mean to tell me that you guys are pretty much the walking dead?" I said as I rubbed Bella's back.

Alice and Edward laughed. "We prefer the title, immortal, versus walking dead. That just makes us sound like zombies," Alice said.

It was all too much for me to take in. One minute I'm worried about my father, who's inches away from death himself, and the next I'm standing in front of two people who died a long time ago. I knew they could very well make Bella and me very dead, very fast.

I sat down on a tree stump to try and convince myself this was a dream. Vampires only existed on television.

Then I realized something.

"Ok, explain this to me then. It's daytime. You aren't supposed to be out in day time. Don't you guys turn to ash or some shit like that when the sunlight hits you?"

They both laughed again.

"Complete myth," Edward said.

I felt completely and utterly confused. Here before me stood two people… things… whatever, that could literally kill me in two seconds flat and no one would ever know why or how. Strangely enough, Bella had collected herself completely. We waited silently for our verdict - would we would be vamp food, or not?

"Jacob, you don't need to worry. We aren't going to turn you into Vamp food," Edward said.

"Dude, what are you doing? Reading my mind? Stop! It's almost like an invasion of privacy," I said.

"Sorry! You act like I fucking want to hear about the things you and Bella do in your room," Edward said as he cringed. "And for the record, sex on top of a stove isn't healthy. You could easily burn Bella's ass," he added.

Bella threw a glance in Edward's direction, "Stay out of my mind, cocksucker."

Edward laughed. "I think you've got the term wrong, I'm a bloodsucker - you're the cocksucker. Besides, it's not my fault that's all you think about at lunch. Maybe you should broaden your horizons. I don't know, read a book or some shit."

Bella looked like she wanted to stomp her feet and walk off. Finally Alice tried to get a hold over everyone.

"Edward, Bella and Jacob, first off, we all need to quit arguing. Edward, Jacob you two better get used to being friends."

"And second of all, Jacob, you need to get back to your dad. Edward and I need to go talk to Carlisle. He needs to know that you both know now."

"Fine," I said, "But I want more explanations later. Be prepared to answer some questions," I called back as Bella took me by the hand and dragged me with her.

Before I could say anything else, they were gone – back through the woods as though they were never here.

**BellaPOV**

When Alice grabbed my arm, I just knew I was dead. I was waiting for it. The silence, the pain, but none of that happened. Instead, all of a sudden, I felt woozy and almost puked on the tree stump next to me.

Edward's eyes seemed ruthless. I was so scared he would kill me and I'd never even known what was going on.

Poor Jake was trying to protect me, but he sucked in comparison to their speed. I've never seen anything like it before in my life – and I almost wish I still hadn't.

As soon as the Cullens were gone, Jake turned to me.

"Bella are you ok?" he asked.

I was actually quite shaken. My entire life, I'd been told that vampires didn't exist. They were simply fiction. Yet here, in the woods beside Jake's house, were two people that I knew were different from me. And that's exactly what they claimed to be. I'd never in my life imagined that in all the years I've been told they didn't exist, there stood two vampires. No wonder no one ever got close to them at school – and vice versa.

"I-I think I'm ok."

Jacob hugged me close to him. He didn't seem as upset as I did about what just took place. We walked back toward the house in silence and waited on some of our friends to show up for cake to celebrate my graduation.

Jacob and I kept up the silence until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jacob Black, you have been very quiet. What are you thinking about?"

He smiled. "Bella, we just ran into two very deadly and yet very forgiving vampires in the forest. And we're not dead. Don't you think that takes a little bit of time to sink in?"

He was right. My biggest fear was now wondering what would happen if they decided we were too much of a risk because we had this information.

Slowly, friends of our family began to show up. The Clearwaters came with their kids, and then Jacob's friends - Sam, Embry, Quil and Paul. Some of my friends, like Angela and her boyfriend Ben, came over. When Jessica showed, I was quite unhappy. I didn't think I invited her - but I guess she thought she didn't need an invitation.

When she walked up the steps, I noticed he was wearing an extremely short jean skirt with a tight tank top. All of Jake's buddies almost lost their shit right there on the porch. I tried not to laugh. I knew that all of them were thinking they would love to pull that skirt up and fuck her right on the porch. Then I thought about it -I bet she had already fucked at least one of them anyway.

The night continued, and Jacob seemed extremely happy, despite the situation we were all in right now.

His dad was dying in the bedroom.

We were threatened by two deadly vampires.

And now Jessica was all up on Jacob wanting him to take a look under the hood of her car later. I knew she meant the actual car, but I'm sure she also wanted him to take a look under that skirt, too.

After the last guest left for the night Jake and I held each other. We stood at a spot in his yard where we could still see the ocean, despite the trees. I had my head pressed against his chest.

"Bella," Jacob said.

"Yes Jacob?"

"I think I've figured out my dilemma."

I took a step back.

"And what is that exactly?"

"Immortality."

As soon as he said that word I knew what he was thinking.

"Jacob Black, if you are thinking what I think you're thinking, I will have absolutely no part in this."

"Bella, think about it. No more suffering, no more illnesses… we could hold each other forever."

"Yeah Jacob, and there is this thing called a soul I'd like to hold onto."

"Fine, suit yourself, but I think it would be cool."

"Yeah if you think drinking blood is cool, then I don't know what to do with you anymore."

Jacob held me close to him again. I hoped this was just some weird fascination and he'd give up on it soon.

**JacobPOV**

_Keep your soul in check. Humans are meant to live and die._

Now I began to wonder about my dad's nurse. I watched as she worked on my dad. She took his vitals and had no problem being in close proximity to everyone. She even looked slightly darker than the rest of the Cullens.

I honestly think I was starting to lose my fucking mind.

The more I thought about it, the more the idea appealed to me. I had a lot to think about, though. I still had Rachel and Rebecca, the two people I left on this earth that were actual family.

Then there's Bella and Charlie. Right before I left for graduation, Charlie told me that after my dad died, I could stay with them until my eighteenth birthday if I'd like. As much as I appreciated Charlie's offer, I couldn't find it in me to impose on them.

I couldn't get the image of Alice and Edward out of my mind. They were very beautiful, but very deadly creatures. They were strong, and lightning fast. Most importantly, they had something I wanted more than anything.

Their immortality.

Bella got extremely pissed with me when I brought it up last night. I was worried that if I mentioned it again, she'd have me locked away in a nut house somewhere.

I couldn't stand it, though. The longer I sat in this chair waiting for my dad to die, the more I hated even being born. We are brought into this earth only to die and never really enjoy what we have in our lives. It just didn't seem fair.

But, the Cullens were the exception to the rules of nature.

I wanted their speed, I wanted their great looks… and most importantly, I wanted their ability to live forever.

I laid my head back in the chair thinking about how I could even approach this situation and drifted off to sleep.

_I was running and yet I had no idea how fast I was actually going. Everything was a complete blur to me._

_I looked to my right and saw Alice was keeping up with my speed. To my left was Edward, just slightly ahead of us. He must be faster than the rest of them._

_We suddenly stopped. Drinking water from out of a small stream stood a deer. It looked like a small doe and Edward and Alice's reaction time was barely a delay._

_I didn't even see it happen. They pounced on the deer, ripping it to shreds with their teeth. I heard the doe cry out in pain and it was silenced quickly when Alice tore through its neck. I wanted to feel sick. I wanted to get angry with them for torturing this defenseless animal._

_Instead I felt… hungry. I walked up to join them in their blood fest and as I reached down to pull a part of the deer to my lips, I looked up and saw Bella's face, horror stricken._

_She pulled her hand to her lips and then ran away._

I awoke to my dad coughing and gagging. He seemed to be choking and I went into hysterics. I ran out of the room and found Bella and her dad watching TV.

"Charlie… Dad can't breathe!"

Charlie jumped up and ran straight into the bedroom. I stood in the doorway watching Charlie work on my dad. He was doing chest compressions and Bella was on the phone with the dispatcher trying to get an ambulance.

I kept running my fingers through my hair and pacing back and forth. Charlie finally said that he could hear breath sounds coming from my dad.

By the time the emergency crews arrived, my dad had returned to a normal pattern of breathing. Well, normal for what he was going through.

As one of the EMTs took my dad's vitals, I noticed someone walking through the front door. It was Dr. Cullen.

I broke out into sweats.

He smiled as he walked past me. A part of me wondered if Alice and Edward had told him about our meeting in the woods. The way he acted, it didn't seem like he knew.

"Well Jacob, seems like Charlie has it under control here. I just need to check some things and see if anything different needs to be done tonight. We may have to have him transported for more tests, is that is ok with you?"

"Sure, you do what you need to."

Dr. Cullen smiled again.

_He knows. I know he knows. Then why hasn't he tried to do anything to Bella and I. Oh, too many witnesses. He'll wait until we're outside alone._

My paranoia began to take over as I watched him listen to my dad's breathing and his heart.

"Well it seems like he won't need to go in. Jacob, I may need to speak to you outside, alone."

_Oh fuck. Well Bella it's been nice knowing you. I love you and don't forget that. Hey Charlie, make sure you take care of my dad's place, and hey, if I don't come back in ten minutes, make sure ya'll get the fuck out of town._

"Sure, Doc."

I followed Dr. Cullen outside and we stood near his overly gorgeous car.

"Jacob, I think it's time to prepare you. I don't think your dad has much longer. It seems like his vitals are getting weaker. I don't normally give families a timeline, but I feel I should warn you. He likely only has couple of weeks left, at best."

This wasn't exactly the conversation I thought I'd be having with him at this time.

My face flooded with emotions – first anger, then fear, and then sadness.

"Dr. Cullen, I don't know if I can handle this. I mean I hate to see him suffer like this, but when I look at him, it reminds me of how I could be like him one day, I can't do this…"

I broke down again. I cried so hard and Dr. Cullen reached over and hugged me. His arms were cold and he smelled sweet, almost like honey.

"Jacob I know it's hard to let go, but it's for the best. Your dad is now a shell of his former self. He is in another dimension right now. He may come out of it for a little bit and it will be as though nothing is wrong with him. Please, don't let this fool you. It's called a lucid state and that normally means that his time to go is not far away."

"Will it be painless for him?"

"It should be. We've got enough pain medicine in him to keep him sedated. He won't even know what is going on."

I sat back on the side of Dr. Cullen's car.

_Fuck it, I had to ask._ I needed answers to the thoughts that had been plaguing me. I was sure Dr. Cullen could answer my questions.

"I met your son and daughter yesterday," I bluntly said.

Dr. Cullen stuck his bag into his back seat.

"Yes I know. Alice and Edward informed me of your run in."

"I'm not going to say anything, if you are worried about that."

"No. I'm not worried about that at all. Alice says that everything will work itself out. She's pretty good about knowing these things, so I trust her judgment."

"Well then can I ask a question then?"

"Sure, what's on your mind?"

"How does one become, like you?"

Dr. Cullen opened his car door and got into the driver's seat. He started the engine of the car and rolled the window down.

"Jacob, I'm not sure why you are asking this question. I do know, or at least I have a strong feeling, that you don't want this. Trust me. You have people in there who love and care about you deeply. You've got to keep them in mind."

With those last words, he drove away.

I stood outside for a while, wishing I didn't have to walk back into that house where I would be surrounded by death. I watched as Bella came to the door.

She was the main reason for asking this of Carlisle. I wanted to protect her in every way possible.

As I stood in those woods with her when we ran into Alice and Edward, I couldn't have defended her if I tried. I was weak despite my ability to bench press half my friends. I was very fucking weak in comparison to the Cullen kids.

Bella smiled at me from the door and instantly I felt like it was the right thing to do.

I ran up to the porch and opened the screen door.

"Bella, can you do me a huge favor?"

"Sure Jake, what's up?"

"I have to run for a little bit. Can I borrow your cell phone and you call me if there is any change in Dad?"

"Yeah sure. Is everything ok?"

"I just need to pay the Doc a house call for a moment."

I kissed her on the cheek and ran out the door before she could tell me to come back.

I got in my truck and sped down the road. I pulled Dr. Cullen's card out of my wallet. He actually listed his home address on his card and I was going to find it – find it and ask for the only thing I needed.

**BellaPOV**

I watched as Jacob and Carlisle carried on a conversation while I stood at the screen door. Jacob broke down into tears and I knew it couldn't be good. Then Dr. Cullen hugged Jacob and I flinched when I saw that. I just knew Jacob was about to be vamp food, but thankfully, Dr. Cullen didn't eat him.

I sat around the house waiting on Jacob to come home. Billy wasn't getting any better, and the Clearwater's came back over to say their goodbyes to Billy. We all knew it would only be a matter of time.

I sat down next to Billy's bed with my head in my hands. It had been a long month and, realizing that it was June, I had to start my plans for college. I had several offers from out of state colleges, but I refused to take any. I wanted to stay around Forks until Jacob graduated.

I pulled several brochures from my purse. I mulled over the colleges that I got accepted to and wondered if I'd actually make it in college. I've always been one to work hard, but college was a completely different world.

I heard Billy laugh and it caught me off guard.

"You know Bella; if you were smart you'd go off to college. Jacob would understand."

Billy was talking directly to me.

"Billy, oh my goodness. How are you feeling?"

"Numb, but at least not in a lot of pain right now," he whispered "Where is my son anyway?"

"He's gone to run an errand. Do you need anything? Do you want me to get Charlie?"

"Sure, bring him in."

I stuck my head out the door and yelled for my dad.

Charlie came straight down the hallway.

Billy looked over at my dad.

"Hey Charlie how's it going."

My dad had tears in his eyes. I'm not sure why he was crying. This was a good thing. Billy was talking.

_Oh hell Billy's awake. I need to call Jacob._

I ran to the living room and instantly called my cell phone. It went straight to voice mail, and I instantly got irritated. _He probably forgot to turn it back on._

I hung the phone up frustrated, and turned towards the bedroom. I was about to go tell my dad I couldn't get a hold of Jacob when I saw my dad standing in the hallway entrance.

Tears were streaking down his face.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

"Billy's… gone."

**JacobPOV**

I sped as fast as the truck could go down the twist and turns that led to the Cullen house. I knew exactly what I was doing. I just had to do my best to convince them that I knew this was what I wanted.

I drove down a long winding dirt road that led to a huge house covered in glass. I could see the lights of the house glaring down into their massive yard.

I couldn't believe I was here, asking them for this. I knew I was breaking every promise I had made to the one person I had left in this world. But what choice did I have? If I wanted to make sure that she was protected, I had to be able to protect her.

My father had tried to shelter me from the harsh realities of life - but the truth was he was just a frail, breakable shell. I wanted more than that for me.

Most importantly though, for her.

And somehow, I had known that I would need to be more than human for her since the first time I held her in my arms on the cliffs.

Before I could open my truck door, Alice was beside my truck.

"Glad you finally made it Jacob, I've been expecting you."

"Oh yeah, that whole being able to see the future shit. Could you do that when you were like me?"

"Yeah, just not as good as I can now."

She led me up the steps inside the house. I walked in to the massive living room. Sitting on the sofa were Carlisle, a blonde woman I assumed was his wife, and the rest of the Cullens.

"Jacob, please, have a seat," Dr. Cullen's wife said.

I sat down in a very comfortable black leather chair.

"Alice already informed me that she saw you coming. I must say Jacob, I'm shocked to see you - despite Alice's keen eye on the future," Dr. Cullen said.

I had never seen the other kids. I assumed the blonde girl was Rosalie and the blonde guy was her brother Jasper. I'd already met Edward and Alice, so I assumed the other dark-haired one was Emmett.

"Why are you shocked I showed?"

"Well I was hoping my little speech in your yard would have given you something to think about."

"I did think about it. I'm not doing this to be selfish. I'm doing it to protect Bella."

Edward scoffed. "You think allowing my family to turn you into a monster is a great way of protecting your girl?"

"Yes, I honestly do. I couldn't have been able to fight the two of you off if I wanted to. What if, in the near future, we run into some not so nice vampires? What then?"

"Jacob, I think you've gone fucking mad if you think that this is what you want," Edward said.

I glared at him just as hard as he was glaring at me.

"Ok, enough of the pissing contest, you two," Alice interrupted. "Jacob, you do realize what you are asking? You are pretty much allowing us to kill you. There is no going back… I hope you understand."

"Of course I understand. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think this through."

"Jacob, I'm in a predicament here. I've never transformed anyone who was in perfect health. All of my family was very close to death when I allowed them to join me. You have your whole life ahead of you. I can't do this, I'm sorry," Dr. Cullen said.

I was crushed. My whole life was falling apart. I had found a solution, yet it was one I couldn't even utilize.

Alice stared off into space and the look on Edward's face was interesting to say the least. It was a cross between laughter and a cringe.

"Alice that is pretty fucked up" Edward said.

"I know, but it's the second time I've had one with him like that."

Carlisle looked at Alice and wanted to know what the big secret was.

"Alice saw a vision of Jacob dying from the same cancer his dad has. He's in his thirties, and he and Bella have a huge family."

My stomach turned into knots.

"Interesting," Carlisle said, "This could change things."

I looked across the room at seven people who very well could be a part of my eternity. Alice seemed so elated she couldn't stand herself. Edward had the same look on his face he always had and I knew my fate was about to be determined.

"So Jacob, when would you like to do this?" Carlisle asked.

Before I could answer, Alice shot me a look. If vampires could cry, she looked like she needed to. Then Edward realized what Alice was doing, and he looked sad too.

Then I felt it. Bella's pain became my own again. It hit me like a heat wave of anger and frustration.

I knew at that instant that something had happened.

I reached into my pocket and saw that I had a missed call from Bella.

I refused to dial the number to my house. I was so scared that I was right.

I finally got the balls to make the phone call when Charlie answered the phone.

"Jacob, I think you need to get home."

"He's gone isn't he," I asked.

"Yes son, he is, I'm so sorry."

I said goodbye to Charlie and glanced over at the Cullens.

"In three days, after my father's funeral."

Carlisle nodded and at that moment, my fate was sealed and there was no turning back.


	5. Chapter 5

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 5 – Fading**

**A/N: I'm about to make a TON of team Jake fans really pissed at me. What can I say, Jake is still sexy to me and will always be … even as the undead… All characters belong to ****Stephenie Meyer****…** **I just like turning wolves into blood thirsty sexy ass vamps…**

_I meant to sympathize I meant to be your friend  
I know I apologize and wont erase the end  
But I learn that moving on, is where I must begin  
When our colors mixed  
We couldn't fix the way they wouldn't blend_

So tell me  
How long, how long have we been down?  
How long, how long have we been down?  
How long, how long have we been down?  
Down, down, yeah

And I wish that only greatness, would follow you around  
I hope to God, you find a way from down  
When you do I hope you share it with me  
Please try to understand, yeah to understand me  
Just try to understand me, yeah understand me

How long, how long have we been down yeah.  
Down, down, yeah

Been Down – Blue October

**JacobPOV**

The next two days were spent with friends and family members dropping in at the house. Charlie and Bella stayed by my side throughout the two day ordeal. I still have no idea what they're going to do with all the food that everyone brought. I didn't feel like eating, and I knew that in another day it wouldn't matter if I could or not.

For the last two days, I've wracked my brain trying to figure out a way to tell Bella about the decision I made. It was my decisions to make and I only hoped that she would understand why I had to do this.

The Cullen family came by late one night after the house emptied of everyone except Charlie, Bella and I. Alice was wearing black and it accented her pale skin. I noticed something I don't think anyone else had paid much attention to. When the Cullens would pass under certain kinds of light, it seemed like their skin was painted with fairy dust.

I just prayed that I didn't sparkle like some fucking pansy.

Dr. Cullen introduced his wife to Charlie and Bella. Alice, Esme and Jasper seemed like they were really sorry about my dad's death. The other three acted like they didn't give two shits. Spending eternity with those three wasn't exactly my idea of fun; but I guess I had to learn how to deal with their shit too.

I was standing with Bella as Edward approached the two of us. His face was not friendly and I was worried that he would say something about what was going to happen in front of Bella. He smiled when the thought crossed my mind.

_God damnit Cullen. If you as much breathe a word to Bella about my decision, when I do turn I'll fucking rip that smug ass look right of your fucking face… got me?_

Edward grinned right at me.

"Jacob I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I have something for you out in the car. Can you help me bring it in?"

_Well fuck. I guess making threats before I'm changed wasn't exactly the brightest thing huh?_

Edward tried not to laugh as he escorted me to the car. Bella looked like she wanted to jump in front of us, and I could feel that she was thinking the same thing -that Edward was about to kill me. Lucky for me, she had no idea why.

We walked to a beautiful silver Volvo sitting in my driveway. We stepped to the other side of it, away from the view of everyone. I tried not to think it, but I knew this could be really bad.

I looked over Edward's shoulder and saw Bella standing in the doorway.

"Jacob, I'm not trying to be a dick here, but I think what you are about to do is the dumbest fucking thing ever."

"Thanks, but since when did someone assign my conscience to you?"

"When you decided to die. You do realize that this is technically suicide right?"

"Alice said she saw me dying at thirty with children, and leaving Bella to take care of the after effects. Can you imagine what that would be like for her? For our kids?"

"Alice's visions are subjective. They can change Jacob. Just because she saw a vision of you like that doesn't mean it will happen. I'm trying to make you understand how important this is."

"Edward, I don't like the fact that you've gone all mushy-mushy on me now. This is my decision and I've decided that I want this, and neither you nor any of your brothers or sisters can change my mind."

Edward fell silent for a minute.

"What was it like?" I asked Edward.

"I felt pain like I'd never felt before. It didn't compare to what I'd already gone through, though. I was dying from Spanish influenza and Carlisle was my doctor. He promised my mother that he would save me."

"How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen."

"No I mean, how old are you in vampire years?"

"I'm one-hundred and seven years old."

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Jacob seriously. You've got people in that house right now who love you dearly. Bella is worried sick about you. I wish you could read her thoughts. She's frantic and worried I'm going to devour you right now. You've got family, friends… when I was turned I had no one… think about this, please."

"I've made my decision."

"I know your true intentions Jacob. Death is supposed to be a natural occurrence. You are only doing this because you are afraid of what will happen if you live. I would give anything on this earth to be human again, and I honestly don't know a vampire that wants to be in this position."

"You know nothing of my intentions, Edward!"

"I hear your thoughts Jacob. It's death you fear more than anything. If you do this, you'll be nothing but a monster."

"I'll take it on then. I'll be a monster. I realize what I'm doing."

"You aren't going to let this go are you?"

"No, Edward I'm not."

"Fine. I hope you enjoy disappointment."

Edward got into his car and drove away.

Bella still stood in the doorway as I ran my fingers through my hair. Tomorrow would be the night of my end and yet, I still couldn't figure out how to tell Bella.

**BellaPOV**

Jacob had acted weird since his return from the Cullen house. I expected pain and frustration but instead was met with a very calm personality. If that had been Charlie instead of Billy, I'd be on the floor bawling my eyes out. Jacob seemed at peace and this bugged me.

His weird behavior continued on throughout the next two days and when the Cullens came to visit him, it seemed as though it was his long lost extended family. Esme and Carlisle were very gracious towards Jacob and even Edward seemed to be friendly.

As I watched the two of them walk to Edward's car, I hoped that Edward wasn't taking him out to kill him. Jacob kept looking over Edward's shoulder and I noticed that they were engrossed in a heavy conversation. I noticed that Jacob seemed on edge about something and then Edward got into his face. I watched as Edward drove away and Jacob stood in the drive looking extremely frustrated.

He kicked around a couple of rocks but had yet to make any attempt in coming back in the house. I finally had enough of worrying and decided it was time for us to have a talk.

I joined him out in the summer night. The clouds gave way to the stars and moonlight, and he looked so beautiful standing with his hands in his pockets. Jacob's skin was beautiful and dark, it was one of the million things I loved about him.

"Is everything ok?" I asked him.

"I'm not sure, Bella. We need to talk."

Those four words can drive any human being insane. The mere thought of what they could mean can make my skin crawl. Nothing good has ever come out of "we need to talk."

He took me by the hand as we walked to our favorite spot on the beach.

Once were on the beach, with the sand between our toes, Jacob stood in front of me with the saddest look on his face. I just knew he was about to break up with me and I started shaking.

"Bella, I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you this for days now. What I'm about to tell you is something I'm doing for the both of us, to protect both of us for the future."

I started crying. I knew it. After all these years, Jacob has decided that he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

"J-Jacob, please don't do this. Don't break up with me. Let me know what I can do to fix this. If you are upset over your dad, I'll give you some space - just don't end this with me," I sobbed.

Jacob looked confused, "Bella, I'm not leaving you or breaking up with you."

I looked up to meet his gaze. "You're not breaking up with me?"

"No, I'm not. I'm planning on spending eternity with you, Bells. I love you more than life itself, and that's why I've made my decision."

"And exactly what is that decision?"

Jacob dropped my hands and began to run his fingers through his hair again.

"I've decided to join the Cullens."

"You mean you are going to live with them. What the fuck would possess you to go live with the Cullens? Aren't you worried they'll eat you?"

Jacob giggled, "Not exactly what I meant Bella."

His face held a somber look and I gasped.

"No Jacob, don't do this. Do you realize what you are asking to be done?"

"Yes, Bella, I do. I can't deal with this life anymore. Alice had a vision about us in the future and it showed us married with children…"

"Well that's great Jacob, that's what I envisioned for our future too," I interrupted Jacob.

"Bells, she saw me developing cancer, the same kind Dad had, and I would die and leave you with our children to raise. I can't let that happen."

My heart felt like it could stop beating.

"Jacob, please, I'd rather have another ten to twenty years with you than to see you do this. You are pretty much damning your soul to hell if you do this."

"Bella, please, I need you to understand why I am doing this."

"Jacob, it seems like a pretty selfish move to make. What about your sisters, your friends… hell, what about me?"

I stared into Jacob's eyes and there was a huge sense of determination in them.

"When are you planning to do this?" I asked.

"Tomorrow night."

"Damnit, Jacob! We'll take preventative measures… have you checked every six months or something, but please just don't do this!" I begged him.

"Bella… I'm doing this for us."

"How the fuck are you doing this for us? I want you alive, heart beating, skin warm… and you want to die. Tomorrow night…"

"Bella, when we ran into Alice and Edward in the woods, I realized that even though I'm strong, I'm not strong enough to defend myself and you against everything in the world. I can't lose you. I need to do this, to protect you."

I bit my bottom lip to keep from screaming obscenities at him. Jacob reached forward trying to take me into his arms but I wouldn't have it.

"Jacob Black, don't touch me right now. I'm going back to my house tonight. Tomorrow, after the funeral, if you still want to do this, I'm sorry. I don't think I could be with you anymore."

I left Jake standing on the water's edge and didn't look back. The tears streamed down my face. I had to find a to pull him away from the edge of this cliff… just like he pulled me from mine so many moons ago.

**JacobPOV**

I knew Bella would take it hard. I had prepared myself for that. I didn't, however, think she would actually leave me. I figured I'd give her at least a night to realize that this was the best thing for both of us.

I sat in my bedroom, looking over every square inch of it. I was about to say goodbye to the only home I ever had. I promised Dad I would take care of it, so I was going to ask Charlie if he'd like to have it. I didn't need it anymore, and I figured he'd love it.

I couldn't sleep a wink at all that night. The frustration of not being able to sleep on top of knowing that I would be saying goodbye to everyone kept me from sleeping.

I kept seeing Bella's face and I hoped that she would really understand this.

Morning came so quickly. I think I only got two hours of sleep, if that.

People began to pour over to my house around four in the afternoon. My dad was cremated and I was scattering his ashes over the ocean beside my house. I knew that Dad would have loved that. Rebecca and Rachel took care of those arrangements for me and I was glad that they finally made it home so I could say my goodbyes to them, too.

The last one to show up was Bella. She was wearing a strapless black sundress with her hair pulled up in a bun. She looked at me, but didn't come near me. I was beginning to question my decisions and yet a huge part of me realized that it was the best one to make.

The ceremony was short and very sad. Everyone had tears in their eyes as I walked to the water's edge to scatter my Dad's ashes. Before I opened the lid I said, "Dad, please don't be angry with me to for the decisions I've made for my mortality. I love you, and miss you. Rest in peace, Dad."

With that, I scattered them into the wind across the ocean. I stood for a moment watching them fly away. People began to file off the beach and back to the house. Rachel and Rebecca were going back to their homes this afternoon. Charlie and some of dad's friends were all sitting around drinking a beer and toasting my father. The Cullens didn't show up. I was kind of disappointed about them not being there, but the sun was out, so I had a feeling they wouldn't show.

I waited until the entire house was almost empty except for Charlie and Bella, and Sue Clearwater, who stuck around to help with the cleaning.

Once Sue was gone, Charlie asked me if I wanted to stay with them tonight. I politely declined. I looked at Bella and she turned her head away from me. I hated her not talking to me. I think Charlie sensed the tension between the two of us, because he gave us our privacy.

I walked up to Bella and she still wouldn't look at me.

I put my hand to her chin and lifted her face to mine. She had tears in her eyes.

"Bella, please, don't be angry with me."

"You are asking me to not be angry with you when you are doing something that could destroy the very fabric of our life together? Jacob, I had plans for us. I wanted to marry you, I wanted children, a house, everything with you."

"Bella we can still have all that, just not in the traditional sense."

"Jacob, I'm not going to help you participate in some type of charade. And I'm also not going to turn myself into a monster, either."

"Bella, I didn't ask you to."

"Jacob, think about this. You are seventeen years old. I'm eighteen. Do you realize that if I don't turn into a bloodsucker too, that I'll continue to get older until the day I die?"

"Bella, I don't care. I'll still love you no matter what." I said.

"Jacob, you honestly don't realize how odd it would look for the two of us to be together when I'm eighty and you are still seventeen."

I tried so hard to convince her, but it seemed like nothing I said could.

"Bella I'm about to leave in a bit to go to the Cullen house. I'd really like for you to come with me."

"What? To watch you kill yourself? You must be out of your fucking mind."

I tried again to hold her and she snatched away.

"Jacob Black, I've never been so disappointed in you, ever."

She turned around and walked out the front door.

I gathered myself up and turned the light off to the living room. I took one more sweep of the house I would always love, and shut the door. I hoped Bella would show up at the Cullen house. But I wasn't about to hold my breath.

The drive to the Cullen house was a somber one. I knew what I wanted and yet I felt alone in my decision.

As I approached the house, I started to worry about the death part. I knew that I was about to die. What if I didn't make it through the transformation? What if Bella hated me and never wanted to see me again?

These were the things keeping me from being absolutely certain about this decision. Then, I remembered my father - who suffered and died a horrible way, a way I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy.

I stopped in front of their house and debated on even getting out of the car.

I was once again greeted by Alice.

"Hey Jake. Are you ready to do this thing?"

"I'm actually feeling kind of queasy at the moment," I said to Alice.

She opened the door and took me by the hand.

But before she could lead me up the steps to the house, I saw a pair of headlights coming up the drive. I noticed the sound of the engine.

The truck stopped just short of where I stood and Bella popped out the truck slamming the door behind her.

"Jacob, wait."

She ran up to me.

Bella put her hands into mine and said, "Jacob, please, don't do this. I need you in my life."

Alice turned around and headed into the house to give us privacy. Well except for the fact that Edward was staring out the window right at us with a disgusted look on his face.

I grabbed her face into my hands and said, "Bella, I need to do this."

Bella stood with her face in my hands, then turned from me. She refused to look at me again.

My decisions were my own, but I knew that this one would come with major consequences. I wanted to tell her how much more this was about her than me, but she wouldn't hear it.

Bella pulled away and shouted, "You promised Jacob, you promised that you'd always be there for me and love me forever. You are breaking the biggest promise I've ever held anyone to."

I tried to pull her close to me and she snatched herself out of my arms.

She looked at me with her red, teary eyes and said, "Jacob Black, of all the people in this world who I thought would fuck me over, you were the very last on a long list of names. I'll never forgive you for this. I hope you enjoy living in hell."

And with that, Bella Swan, the girl of my dreams and the love of my life, walked away from me.

Edward stood at the window with a smug look on his face.

I was more ready than ever to begin this transformation. There were so many things I wanted to do once it was complete. The first item on my list? To beat the ever-living shit out of Edward Cullen.

I followed Alice into the house and everyone was gathered in the living room.

Pain kept filling my chest, and I knew it was because I'd hurt Bella so much. I hoped that after I was transformed, she'd listen to me, and hear me out. I planned to see her again really soon in the future. I had to do this.

"Jacob, I've got everything set and ready to up stairs," Carlisle said.

"How exactly is this going to work?"

"I was going to bite you, but decided the easiest and best way for you was to just do an injection. Now Jacob, I want you to understand, the venom we produce is very deadly and very painful. You are going to feel like your body is on fire, but once you make it through, you won't feel anything again."

"I guess better now than never, huh?"

Alice and Carlisle walked me up the steps. Before I made it to the top step, Edward stopped us and glared down at me.

"I want to make it known," he said, "that this is the biggest mistake ever. If I were Bella, I would never speak to you again. And you can forget about seeing her for at least two more years. You're going to regret this."

"Enough, Edward," Alice said. "I've seen his future, and it looks better than you could possibly know."

"Care to share some insight then," Edward said.

"No, I don't. This is one thing you are just going to have to trust me on."

And with that I was taken into a small room with a gurney. I laid down on it with a bright light shining above me. Carlisle strapped me in and I instantly felt like I was about to be put down by lethal injection. Technically, I guess I was.

I deserved it now. I'd hurt Bella, and her pain radiated through my body as the tears fell from my face.

"Ok Jacob, we're going to count to ten and then I'll push the injection through. Are you ready?"

"Yes," I said as the tears rolled down my face.

Carlisle grabbed my arm in his vice-like grip. With his other hand, he tapped just below where his hand held me, finding a suitable vein.

As the liquid was pushed into my body, I whispered, "I love you Bella, and I'm sorry."


	6. Chapter 6

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 6 – The End Is The Beginning Is The End…**

**A/N: You will find that Jacob isn't as sweet an innocent anymore and this will become his struggle in life. Huge thanks to CandyP who kept me going even when I considered ditching this story. All characters belong to SM… however, the platform boots are mine…**

_Time has stopped before us  
The sky cannot ignore us  
No one can separate us  
For we are all that is left  
The echo bounces off me  
The shadow lost beside me  
There's no more need to pretend  
Cause now I can begin again_

Is it bright where you are  
And have the people changed  
Does it make you happy you're so strange  
And in your darkest hour  
my old secrets laid  
We can watch the world devoured in its hate

The End Is The Beginning Is The End – Smashing Pumpkins

**JacobPOV**

_The pain coursed through my veins, setting my whole body ablaze with so much fire that I wanted to scream out for it to stop and just kill me already. I know I screamed… I just don't know if anyone could hear me._

_I could hear voices the entire time, but I had no idea what was being said. I felt my body twitching and flinching between the pangs of deep seeded regret for allowing this to take place. I tried my hardest to focus on Bella… and the love I would miss without her. I did this for her… she had to realize it…_

_I tried my best to not concentrate on the pain… anything but the pain, but I failed horribly in this endeavor… what would I have to do to make this go away?_

_The final goodbye from Bella still lingered in my ears… she wished me enjoyment in hell - and I gratefully accepted this hell she wished upon me… my father was gone… my love was gone… what did I have left?_

_My eternity… facing my own personal hell and the regret I'm sure I'd feel once it was over…_

_That is, if I made it out of this transformation… alive…_

_I felt my heart speed up so fast that I just knew it was going to explode in a bloody mess from my chest… my breathing became labored, almost to the point of a breath every half a second... and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse…_

_My heart stopped… And my new life began._

_**TWO YEARS LATER:**_

**JacobPOV**

"You know next time, you should just wear a shirt that says, 'Sorry Bitches, I'm not interested' if you are just going to ignore every single piece in this bar."

Emmett took a sip of his beer and smirked at me.

It always amazed me, the charade Emmett could carry on. He loved the taste of beer, even though later on he'd throw it all up. His body couldn't process it… but it still didn't stop him from drinking his weight in it.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with his shit tonight. I got tired of dealing with the same skanks who thought that I would be interested in them if they wore their skirts shorter or tops lower. I must admit though, some of the girls in their leather bodices and platform boots seemed to finally spark some kind of sexual frustration out of me.

I could easily seduce one, maybe two of them - take them back to the bathroom, bend them over the counter and give them what they wanted. I could also take their life, and they'd never know it was coming.

Emmett and Edward were used to dealing with this shit. I could have cared less what the girls thought of me. After losing the one girl I had my heart set on, I'd become immune to even the slightest bit of admiration.

We came to Breaking Dawn, an industrial dance club in Seattle, each Wednesday night for the local DJ of the week. Emmett and Edward were trying their damndest to open a recording studio and they were looking for new talent.

I glanced down at the dance floor. Rosalie and Alice were shaking their asses, and all the guys were swooning over them. Some of them were standing just inches away from the girls. If they only knew that those two could take all them within an inch of their lives, I'm sure they'd leave the two vixens alone.

On top of that, Jasper was on the side of the dance floor, just waiting for the second some guy put his hands on his girl. Jasper was fast and the guy would never know what even hit him - until he was begging for his life.

I've seen it happen before; I knew better than to mess with Jasper.

Humans.

It seemed odd for me to use that word so… loosely considering, at one time, I was one.

I watched as these humans did the one thing I found hilarious.

Imitate us.

The ones that had their teeth filed down in fangs were the ones that made me laugh the hardest.

Ahh… I loved old vampire stories. Well I did, until I became one myself.

I'm stuck at seventeen. Do you know what it's like to try to get into clubs these days? Edward, Emmett and Jasper have old souls – if they had souls. Hell Edward's been on this earth for a hundred years and he can pull off the older charming guy. I'm supposed to be nineteen. Thank God for Alice's connections and the fake IDs.

Rose and Alice waved up at us. Emmett didn't seem to mind Rosalie being man handled by the other guys. He was too focused on a game featured on TV at that moment. Plus, I knew he felt sorry for that whoever was bothering her. Rose would have a field day with that guy if she wanted to.

I had learned the hard way not to mess with Rosalie. If I could have scars to prove it, I'd be one fucked up looking vamp.

I still have a hard time believing that it has been two years since I last laid eyes on Bella.

After my transformation, Carlisle kept me under his watchful eye until he found it suitable for me to mix with the general population. It took nearly a year for me to even come close to town.

The one thing I wanted more that my immortality now was to have Bella back in my life. Carlisle kept me up to date on where and how she was doing. She apparently told everyone that I went to the Cullens and that needed time alone.

Charlie called all the time to check on me, and I even talked to him a couple of times. He was very upset about the breakup, but said he understood. Carlisle even delivered a hand written letter from me, telling Charlie that my house was now his if he wanted it.

My concentration on the past was interrupted by a familiar face.

Coming through the doorway of the club was a blonde girl with cherry red lips. Her skirt was made of latex and the fishnet stocking she wore underneath left nothing up to the imagination. She wore a corset that was made from the same material as her skirt and platform boots that reached her kneecaps.

The instant I saw her, I felt the need to bolt from the club. It had been years since the day she showed at Bella's graduation party, and I knew Jessica's intentions for me. She had tried for years to get her hands on me, and I wouldn't allow it to happen. I knew the moment she saw me she would stop at nothing to have me.

The big problem now is whether or not I'd allow myself to have her too.

Edward realized a familiar voice in his head and looked at me with dagger like eyes. He smiled and I gave him the finger.

"Jacob, I see one the skanks from Christmas past has decided to grace everyone with her presence," Edward said to me.

"Edward, give it a fucking rest already. I've turned that shit down for years. Nothing has changed."

"Actually it has, my friend. You don't have Bella anymore."

I wanted so badly to beat the shit out of Edward. After all, it was a promise that I had made to myself. As much as I want to, though, I have to admit I didn't have it I me to do it.

It was almost as if she knew someone was talking about her. Jessica looked straight up to the second floor where we sat and waved at me.

"Fuck Edward, she's coming up here. Let's go."

"No way in hell, Jacob. This could be the highlight of my night."

Edward sat back in his chair and watched as the events unfolded.

Jessica sashayed right to me and took a seat as close to me as she could.

I was shocked she even realized who I was.

A lot had changed with me physically since the night of my transformation. My skin became lighter. My eyes, due to my diet of only mountain lions and bears, had turned a light shade of golden brown.

"I don't believe it! Of all the people in this town I could run into, I run into some of Fork's sexiest men," Jessica said as she turned her body to me.

"Ironic, I know," I said as I took a sip of water. Edward was still all smiles, and I hoped he was reading my mind at that moment.

_You'll fucking pay for this shit. Either her or you._

Edward laughed. He knew that I was still a newborn and it took all I had to keep from killing every single human in this club. And Jessica smelled so fucking delicious.

"So Jacob, what have you been up to? I must say I was shocked and a little bit elated that you and Bells broke up," Jessica said.

"Oh, well Jessica, I think he may still be on the mend. But I'm sure he'd love to dance with you for a bit," Edward said. He was having a fucking field day with this shit. I, on the other hand, was ready to push him off the balcony.

Jessica grabbed my hand and I flinched. I had not touched another human being since the day Bella walked away from me. Jessica's touch was too warm, too inviting, for me. It was more than I thought I could handle.

Edward watched as she pulled me to the dance floor. Emmett was still oblivious to everything going on around him.

Jessica led me to the center of the dance floor. I hated to mingle with all of the people. I could smell them, their scents becoming overpowering. I could see the veins pulsing with blood on every single one of them. It all seemed so surreal to me.

She grabbed my hands and stuck them to her waist and ground her body against mine. I tried so hard not to look at her, but an overwhelming desire to take her came over me.

I felt my body pressing tight against her. Before I even realized what I was doing, I was pushing her back toward the bathrooms and straight into the empty ladies room.

She locked the door behind us. With one quick sweep, I had her up on the counter. She wrapped her legs around me and I could feel her sex pulsing straight through the heavy jeans I wore. She nibbled on my skin, though I could barely feel it. My biggest concentration was on how good she smelled.

I reached between her legs and my fingers found her very wet slit and began rubbing them across her. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she whispered, "You can have all of me if you'd like."

I reached down with my eyes glaring into hers and caressed her neck. I wanted to taste her, to have her blood coursing through my veins. I slowly led my lips down the side of her neck, my teeth becoming fully exposed, ready to dive into the bloody mess that would become the girl's bathroom.

"Jacob Black, you let that girl go, NOW!" A small voice yelled at me.

Alice stood in the doorway teeth bared ready and set for a fight with me.

I hissed, "Alice, go the fuck away."

Jessica turned pale and gathered her items up. She quickly exited the bathroom while Alice stood at the doorway blocking my exit.

"Do you realize what you could have done to that girl? Do you realize how easily you could have exposed us?" Alice said as she finally calmed down a bit.

"It was her fucking fault Alice. She seduced me. That fucking bitch seduced me!"

Alice shut the door behind her. Apparently when she realized I was nowhere to be found with Jessica she got worried and followed her scent to the rest room. She also broke the lock on the door, leaving it to swing open and closed.

"Jacob, you've got to be careful. I think it was a mistake for all of us to move to Seattle."

"Alice, you know it was the best idea for all of us. I needed to get out of Forks or else I'd find myself tracking her every single night. She still has a hold on me."

It was so true. Bella's emotional hold still had bearing on me. I knew she still hadn't gotten over what I'd done to her. I felt it - because the pain, her pain, radiated through me each day. I've noticed, though, that recently it's become less severe. That worried me a bit. I knew that if it completely went away, that it meant she didn't love me anymore and that someone else was making her happy.

Alice came up to me and gave me a huge hug.

"Let's go back home before we do any more damage here tonight."

She led me straight for the door and the rest of my so-called-family headed back to our house.

I lay in bed that night thinking of how good Jessica smelled to me. The sight of her veins pulsing in front of me had me craving her so much that I didn't know what to do with myself.

Edward stuck his head into my door with a huge grin on his face.

"You know, you are allowed a human kill every once in a while right?"

"Fuck you Edward. I will not take a human life. You know I made that vow to myself the night of my transformation."

"Hell, we've all done it. You would be no exception to the rule."

I rolled my eyes at him and tried to concentrate on my book.

"Jacob, you do miss her don't you?"

"Thank you captain-fucking-obvious."

"You know, she's happy right now."

"How the fuck do you know? Can you read her mind?"

"Actually, yes I can."

My body shot up from my sitting position and before I even realized what I was doing, I aimed straight for his neck with my hands.

"How the fuck can you do that?"

"She's here, in Seattle. It's really easy for me to hone in on one mind, especially one I've been reading for some time," Edward struggled to say.

I got severely angry with him. He knew the entire time what her life was like,yet he couldn't share this information with me? I'd been worried sick about her and all I wanted was some sort of reassurance that she was ok.

I dropped Edward from the position I'd put him in, which was jacked straight up the wall above me.

He laughed as though I barely touched him.

"I need some air," I said.

I heard Edward laugh back as I walked away, "What kind of air, you don't even breathe…"

I again shot him the finger as I walked out the door.

The Seattle fall air barely made a difference to me. It was raining and the sky seemed to open up more to harder rain. I rounded a corner that led away from our house to a small pub on the corner. As I passed I smelled something familiar to me.

It smelled like lilac and vanilla. It smelled like… Bella.

I looked across the street to a small café and recognized her. Nothing had changed at all. Her hair was longer though and it still fell in soft waves down her back. She was laughing and I could hear the happiness that radiated in that voice. My own heart, if I had one, was beginning to break that she was happy.

She stood and gathered her bag. It was the first time I realized her company. It was a guy. He was tall, with blonde hair pulled back in a tie. He led her out the small gate of the café and his hand was touching the small of her back. It was that kind of gesture that made me realize that he really cared for her.

I sulked away in the darkness as I watched them walk down the street. Edward had been right. She was in Seattle and it was then that I knew that the hell I had been putting myself through was about to get hotter.

I walked back down into the shadows of the alleyway beside the small pub when I heard a familiar laugh again.

I looked up to see Jessica, who was drunker than a wino, walking, or should I say, stumbling down the alley. She was carrying her platform boots and laughing hysterically to herself. I tried so hard to not breathe in the smell of her, but once I realized who she was, my senses took over.

"So we meet again," Jessica said as soon as she realized who I was.

"Why are you alone?" I asked her, inhaling her sweet scent.

"I was with Angela, you remember her right? She took her boyfriend Ben home. He's such a fucking lightweight and puked all over the last club we went to."

I smiled at her and reached for her hand. I pulled her close to me and I could hear her breath increasing as felt her heart beat speed up.

"What made you change your mind? Your friend seemed to interrupt something we had going earlier," Jessica whispered in my ear.

I leaned down with my lips to her ear and said, "What can I say? You are too irresistible for me."

I softly brushed my lips down her ear to the center of her neck. I licked it right at the spot of her jugular artery and the sensation of her pulse was enough to make this easy for me.

I took her skin between my teeth and it was like cutting butter with a hot knife. The blood from her neck was warm… inviting. I couldn't stop. I sucked as hard as I could until I realized there was no life left in her.

I dropped her dead body right in the alleyway and let out a growl. Her blood washed away from me as the rain fell harder. I heard a deep laughter from down the alleyway and realized it was Edward. He'd witnessed the entire thing.

"I told you, you were allowed at least one human kill in your eternity."

I glared at him and ran towards him faster than lightning.

I jacked him up against a wall again, determined to make another kill that night.

"Jacob, let me down. I sympathize with you. You need me."

I stood for a moment longer meeting his sincere gaze. I finally let him down.

"Let's go home," Edward said as he grabbed me by the arm.

We left Jessica in the alleyway and I didn't dare look back.


	7. Chapter 7

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 7 – Nightmares**

**A/N: All the characters belong to S. Meyer. **

_If only I were blind to your selfish fling  
and your desperate cause  
and didn't press you for the details  
that threaten my physical flaws_

I'd like to come home to see you  
and embrace your illness under soft light  
but then you'd know how much I really need you

All the love in an instant  
makes my life stop  
but then my hate for you  
makes my feelings altogether drop

Drop – Red House Painters

**BellaPOV**

_Jacob stood at the end of a narrow alleyway between to brick buildings as the rain fell on us. I had a strong urge to run but as I stood, staring, I couldn't do it. I felt as though my legs had frozen to the wet pavement and my heart began to speed. _

_Jacob walked slowly towards me, almost gliding against the wind and rain. The closer he got, the more nervous I felt about him being near me. His yellow eyes met mine with fierceness and I just knew that it was moments before my life would end. _

_He reached his hand out to mine and as much as I tried to not lift my arm, I did anyway and he pulled me close to him. He took a deep breath, almost inhaling my scent fully. He exhaled with such a force that it blew through my hair. His scent was mesmerizing and enticing. _

_Jacob lifted my chin with his cold, strong hand until my gaze met his eyes._

"_Bella, no matter what, I still love you…"_

I awoke screaming in agony. It was the same pain I've felt over and over again since the day I walked away from Jacob, and as much as I tried, it never receded.

Everything around me, even though I was far away from Forks, reminded me of Jacob. Certain smells, foods, laughter, eyes… even plain white t-shirts reminded me of him.

I felt like the biggest idiot in the world sometimes but then again I still carried around all this hate and unhappiness for the decisions that Jacob made in all this. He was my love – my life – and yet he felt it necessary to throw all that away and it wasn't fair to me.

I sat up in my bed wiping the tears away from my eyes as I worked to collect myself. It was one a.m. in the morning and I would normally meet James at the coffee shop near the industrial club where he worked.

James was my makeshift boyfriend. I am not sure if I even love him. I do know that his love for me doesn't match mine and all the love I still carry for Jacob could never compare.

He's done more than his fair share of putting up with my bullshit. He knows about Jacob. He doesn't know the complete story though. He just assumes that Jacob was selfish and that's why I left him. I had to keep the whole vampires who could kill me thing under wraps.

I walked into the bathroom and pulled my hair back. The dark circles under my eyes were beginning to show through even more and I'm still shocked that I've made it two whole years without completely cracking under the sadness that surrounded me.

As I stared longer into the mirror, I thought of Jacob. If he were here right now, he'd come up behind me and put his strong arms around me and tell me to quit staring at myself, it was impossible for me to get prettier. I loved that about him. I never had to try.

I got dressed, only wearing a pullover hoodie and a pair of jeans. I put on my rain boots, grabbed my book bag and headed to the coffee shop to wait on James.

The rain couldn't make up its mind as it switched from heavy to light. I sat under the awning of the café just up the road from my apartment. In my hands I held my English 201 book and read the key points I needed for my upcoming mid-term. I watched at the cars passed by the café and it amazed me how even at two in the morning the streets of Seattle stayed busy.

I waited patiently on James. He was smart – sometimes too smart for his own good. He had a way of finding things that I couldn't dare consider looking for. I lost one pearl to the necklace I got as a graduation gift and he found it in two seconds.

I only wore that necklace on special occasions anyway. Any other time, I felt like my heart would rip into shreds at the mere thought of who gave it to me.

I often wondered how Jacob was doing. I'm sure by now I wouldn't even recognize him. I'm also quite certain that the Jacob I once loved didn't exist anymore and I'd be faced with a monster of sorts. I hated to admit to myself that the moment I would lay eyes on him, I'm sure would be the pure death of me – I would want back in his life and this scared me.

I almost considered the first year of our breakup to find him and let him know that I loved him no matter what. A huge part of me wanted to join him in that eternity but I considered a lot of things in the process. As much as I hated my mother, I'm sure she would have missed me. My father, Charlie, would have sent the FBI, CIA and any other source he could think of after me.

I wanted a normal life for myself and I thought Jacob could offer me that. The day he made his decision changed all that. Now I'm with James, and even though he's not Jacob, I still care a lot about him. He doesn't completely fill the void in my heart, but it comes close.

As I looked up James crossed the wet street to meet me at my table.

"Bella, love, don't you worry about catching a cold out here? You could have waited inside for me."

He reached down and kissed me on the cheek.

"I guess I could have, but I love people watching. This is the best place to do it."

James took a seat next to me and lifted the book I held in my hands.

"You know, you could always come to me if you have any questions about your English work."

I smiled at him, "James, I know English better than you."

He laughed so sweetly and said, "Yeah you do."

James has been on the President's list for his entire college career. He's super smart and has helped me through so much the past couple of years. He was my tutor in math at the beginning of my second year and we just hit it off pretty good after that.

It has been a slow going relationship, mostly due to my inability to even get close to another guy.

Jacob ruined that part of my life for me.

I talked to Charlie just last night and he informed me that Jacob was living in Seattle. That bugged and intrigued me at the same time. I hoped I wouldn't run into him, even though a huge part of me still wished I did out of sheer curiosity. I think I was more curious as to how he's handling all this.

As for me, I'm a wreck still.

James asked me to move in with him and even though I love the idea of waking up next to him, it seems a little rushed for me. I hate being that girl that goes home after a booty call to sleep in her own bed.

I'm also apprehensive because although it's been two years since the day Jacob left me, I still cry every single night for him.

I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake. And, I think James has caught onto it. Each time I let out a sigh or a whimper, he knows I'm thinking of Jacob. I'm sure it hurts him but I can't help how much I'm still in love with the stupid boy.

James excused himself for a brief moment to get a cup of coffee. I looked across the street and saw a familiar face. I instantly realized who it was. Jessica Stanley walked towards the industrial club where James worked. Fucking great. I wondered if she'd try to hit on James now too. I'm sure she would if she knew he was with me.

After I broke up with Jacob, she'd question me every chance she had about what happened and where he went off to. She even got as bold and brash to ask my permission to call him. I laughed at the thought of it. I finally just told her sure, if she could find him.

If it wasn't for Charlie, I wouldn't have even found out if his transformation was successful or not. Just knowing he was alive made things a little easier on me, but being at odds with my hate and distrust for him made it harder to forgive him.

James exited with a venti latte for me and a small coffee for him. I sat staring still as Jessica disappeared in the distance.

James realized who I was staring at and said, "Do you know that girl?"

"Yeah I do. I went to high school with her. Her name's Jessica."

James laughed. "She likes to flirt, a ton. She tried that shit with me but it didn't fly. I told her I was involved."

"Did you tell her who you were involved with?"

"No I didn't, why?"

I laughed. "If she knew you were attached to me, she'd try to be in your pants in two seconds flat. She was always jealous of me and…"

I tried not to say his name. It always hurt James for me to even mention it.

"You and Jacob," he finished for me.

"Yeah… sorry."

A wash of anguish fell over his face and he glanced down at his hands. James didn't say anything for a short time. I hated doing that to him. I'd always said that I didn't blame him if he left me.

I deserved it.

I deserved to be alone.

I finally broke the silence, "You know it's getting late. We should probably head back home."

"Bella, wait, before we go," James said grabbing my hand.

"I've been wondering something. Do you think you could stay the night with me tonight?"

I sat there for a second trying so hard to say yes. I wanted to. I wanted to wake up in James' arms but I knew the minute I fell asleep, I'd dream of Jacob and the pain and agony would start again. I would wake up in sweats and screaming his name in pain. I couldn't subject James to that – especially after all the patience he's shown all this time.

"James… I don't know if this is the best idea for me."

"I figured you'd say no, but I knew it wouldn't hurt to say yes. You let me know when you are ok with this."

He smiled and it hurt worse to see him smile at me. I knew underneath there was a ton of pain not showing and as much as I needed to say yes, I just couldn't do it.

I stood up and James stood with me. I gathered all my books and placed them in my bag. James walked to the same side of the bistro table with me and helped.

He carefully guided me along the maze of tables and placed his hand on the small of my back. It was such a kind and sweet gesture and it almost made me say yes to him.

As we crossed the gate of the café, the wind blew past me and a familiar smell hit my nose. I stuck my face upward into the rain trying to remember the scent. I couldn't quite place it, but it was sweet, and very enticing.

The next morning I awoke with the sun blaring in my eyes. Seattle was a little less wet in comparison to Forks, but the sun still seemed to hide behind the clouds just as much. When the sun would greet me in the morning, it would make me happy.

Then I would get sad.

I'd get sad at the thought that I wouldn't be able to run into Jacob in the day time. As I lay in bed, I wondered what it would be like to see him in the day light. I'm sure his muscles are more defined now. If you add in the extra sparkle effect I'm sure he was absolutely gorgeous. Plus his eyes. If he held the same eyes as the Cullen's, then he would be double blessed with beauty.

I don't know what it was about the thoughts of Jacob and his undead look, but I found it turning me on. I felt my hands slipping down the front of my camisole that I wore to bed that night and then down to the underwear that matched. I slipped my hand under the elastic of the silk underwear and found my already wet folds.

I imagined Jacob pinning me up against the alleyway of my apartment building. I'm sure his strength would have doubled by now and holding me there wouldn't be a problem for him. He'd spread my legs with such a force that my inner thighs would be bruised but I wouldn't care.

As my fingers grazed over my already swollen clit, I tingled with the thoughts of him kissing down my neck as his cold, hard cock slammed harder and harder into me.

"Mmm, Jacob…" I said out loud to myself. It took barely any time for me to get myself off.

I had this problem of not even being able to turn myself on the past couple of years, but as soon as Charlie said that Jacob was in town, I found it easier to do so. I was hoping that in some odd way, he was trying to track me down, and he'd see how much I still desire him.

He'd either be extremely turned on by it, or want to kill me.

I'd hoped for the first option.

I lay in bed for a bit more before jumping in the shower. It was my off day for class and I'd normally go hang out with Angela. She was working at the same café I went to at night to meet James, but she did the day shift.

I dried myself as fast as I could. My hair was immediately placed in a semi-ponytail. It would take far too long to finish drying it so I let it go.

I put on a pair of sweat pants and a college T-shirt with my hoodie. I grabbed my laptop, put it in my bag and headed out for the day.

The café was the best place for me to write. I was working on a submission for a short story contest and I could always find comfort there.

As soon as I walked through the door, Angela greeted me. She would normally have some sort of a smile, but this time, she met me with a grief-stricken stare.

As I approached her, I could tell she'd been crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"You aren't going to believe this. Jessica Stanley was killed in an alleyway across from here last night."

Goosebumps ran over my entire body.

"What do you mean? How? What happened?"

"They are saying that something attacked her. They are calling it an animal attack but how on earth could an animal attack someone in the city."

_Very easily. If it's a sort of animal… I don't know … maybe a Vampire…_ I said to myself.

She hugged me. She'd never been one to really like Jessica, but she was still a school mate of ours. My stomach churned deep inside of me and I prayed that none of the Cullen's… hell Jacob… had anything to do with this.

I tried my hardest to push that thought away. Angela handed me the news article and everything seemed to match what an animal attack looked like from the description. I was scared to death for James now. I hoped he didn't walk those back alleys himself coming from the club. I'm sure he would, considering it was quicker to go that way.

I reached for my cell phone and called him right away. I explained what happened to Jessica and he said he would meet me after his class. He also promised to not take the alleyway that night either.

As I closed my cell phone the clouds began to pour over us again. I sat down at the bistro set trying so hard to work on my short story but every time I began to write, I'd see Jessica's face. Then I would see Jacob tearing into the skin of her neck and then I'd feel sick all over again.

I began to write as much as my fingers could handle and then I caught a whiff of a sweet smell again. It was so mesmerizing. I wanted to stand up and follow it but instead it seemed to get closer to me.

"Hello, Bella…" a familiar voice rang out.

I looked immediately to my right and realized why I smelled this alluring scent.

Edward Cullen stood right next to me, glaring at me with his bright golden eyes and I was speechless.


	8. Chapter 8

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 8 – Glimmer**

_And you may go, but I know you won't leave  
Too many years built into memories  
Your life is not your own_

Who am I to need you now  
To ask you why to tell you no  
To deserve your love and sympathy  
You were never meant to belong to me

Who am I to you?  
Along the way  
I lost my faith

And as you were, you'll be again  
To mold like clay, to break like dirt  
To tear me up in your sympathy  
You were never meant to belong to me

Crestfallen – Smashing Pumpkins

**JacobPOV**

The Seattle day light came through my darkened windows early in the morning. Edward sat quietly across from me as I wallowed in my own self pity. He kept a small smirk on his face and it took all I had to try and keep from ripping it off his cold, dead face.

"Jacob, you are such a pussy," Edward said to me.

"Fuck you Edward Cullen. Just because you went a whole decade killing humans doesn't make it my cup of tea," I snapped back.

Edward laughed out loud as Alice bounced her happy ass back into the living room. I tried not to pay her any attention. I tried to watch TV and ignore her however the television had become a very boring guide for entertainment. I couldn't believe we even agreed to move to this hell hole. The sun shone more in Seattle and it kept us indoors until night time.

"Jacob, I keep promising you everything is going to be ok. Can't you trust me for once," Alice said with a smile.

"Alice, I want to believe you and I know your visions of me are happy ones, but I'm growing quite impatient with this bullshit."

"Jacob, please be patient with me. I've never steered you wrong yet have I?" she said.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I snapped back. Edward laughed and rolled his eyes at me.

I've almost called Carlisle a hundred times the past hour to ask if I could come back to Forks. He's the only one of the Cullens that didn't annoy me to the point of jumping off the Seattle Space Needle. Not that it would do me any good.

I stood up and went to my oversized bedroom. It had to be at least quadruple the size of my room back in Forks.

The best thing about the Cullens had to be the money. I felt awful, almost like I was mooching off their funds, but Alice swears they have more than their fair share of money.

As a gift for my big change, Alice got me something I'd always wanted. She bought me an Aston Martin DBS. It was enough to make me splooge on myself. All of our cars were hidden away in a rental garage but once a week we'd take a trip outside of town. Nothing felt better than driving over 100 miles per hour and know that only the car can end up in shambles if I wreck.

I absolutely loathed our apartment. It is the biggest one in this building. It consumes the entire top floor. Below sit a ton of apartments, mostly for college students.

I don't know what possessed the Cullens to put me in a building full of weak humans for me to step the line again and devour. Alice liked it because it was near the bustling downtown area and near all the shopping areas.

My room didn't even hold a bed for me to lie in. As I walked in I slammed the door in hopes that everyone in the apartment would leave me alone. I had to be careful doing this now. I've broken so many doors the past two years that Alice has Home Depot on speed dial.

I sat down on my futon with my head in my hands. If I'd only known then what I know now, I would have left with Bella that night in front of the Cullen house. Those bad memories follow me everywhere.

At least the good memories do too. I still think of Bella and the way things were. Her big smile and big brown eyes – even the way she would sigh when she was deep in thought. It all haunted me.

I sat thinking about the last time we were together, right before Dad got sick. She wore a cute white camisole top with matching underwear. I held her up against the door of my bedroom as she screamed my name over and over again.

I felt myself harden beneath my jeans at the thought of her against my door in my bedroom. I knew Edward was listening in on my thoughts and I decided to fuck with him a little bit. I thought of how she looked last night with her hair swept around the front side of her hoodie. Her pale face showed through like a beam of light in my heart.

I imagined her following me to the alleyway of the café and pinning her up against the brick wall. I would wrap her legs around me like the night at my house and show her how much I needed and desired her still.

My hand found the zipper to my jeans and I slowly began to unzip them, teasing myself with each tug of the golden zipper. I finally unbuttoned them and slid them down slightly showing the sunlight how hard I was for my Bella.

My hand grazed over my cock as I thought of Bella's eyes, her face, her swollen nipples that I've had in my mouth more times than I can count.

It took barely anytime before I blew my load all over myself.

"Damnit Jacob, stop that shit!" Edward yelled from the living room.

Mission accomplished.

I laughed out loud and I heard the front door slam. I'd pissed him off enough to make him leave the apartment and I felt pleased with myself – in more ways than one.

I walked back into the living room with Jasper and Alice. Emmett and Rosalie were still in their room. I can only imagine what those two lovebirds were doing in there. They fucked more than any couple I'd ever met in my life. They even had a better sex life than Bella and I did.

The minute I walked back into the living room, a wave of calmness came over me and I immediately knew it was Jasper calming me down. His gift of mood changes kept this household from falling apart.

"Thanks, Jazz," I said and I walked back into the living room.

"You are quite welcome," he said.

"You know Jacob, if you are having issues with what happened last night, you can always come to me. I know better than anyone in this household what it's like to lose your footing with the vegetarian deal," he said smiling.

Jasper has slipped more than any of us and yet I envy his ability to keep a positive outlook.

"I keep telling him everything is going to be ok, but he won't listen," Alice said to Jasper.

"Alice, when you are in this situation, it's hard to imagine anything getting better. We all just need to lay off him for a while. He needs space," Jasper said in my defense.

"Thanks, Jazz again. Hey Alice, all seeing and knowing, where's the rain? You promised me it would rain today," I said.

"Look outside," she said.

I walked to the windows and sure enough, the rain drizzled down from the sky. I looked down at all the humans crossing the street and trying to make the most of their time on earth. I watched each one of them following almost the same kind of pattern bees would make in a nest. One busy bee looked familiar though.

My eyesight as a vampire had increased tremendously. I can even see in the pitch black. I watched as the hoodie wearing young girl left the very apartment building I stood in and cross the street to the café across from us. I quickly realized it was Bella.

_What was she doing in my apartment building?_

I watched as she went into the café and emerge a few moments later with a coffee in hand. She sat under the awning of the café, pulled out her laptop and began working.

What I wouldn't have paid to see what she was working on. Hell what I wouldn't have paid to have been what she was working on.

She watched around her as though she felt something near her. I saw him before she did and it took every single bit of energy I had to not break the glass window in anger.

_Damnit Cullen, stay the fuck away from her. What the hell do you think you are doing? If you so much as lay a fucking hand on her, you're dead... well dead again, this time you won't fucking come back._

Edward looked up at me from the street with the same smirk on his face. He knew I was watching and it pissed me off that he could be near my girl and I couldn't.

Fuck this was so unfair.

Bella realized he was standing next to her and almost dropped her coffee.

That was my final straw. I had to find her and talk to her. I knew how Cullen worked and I wasn't about to let him fuck things up for me.

**BellaPOV**

"Edward!" I said almost dropping my coffee I my lap. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I would ask the same thing about you, but I already know. How's college going?"

"Great… wait… is Jacob with you?" I looked all around for him but didn't see him anywhere.

"No, actually he isn't. He's back at the apartment wallowing in self pity."

"What do you mean? I thought being like you was what he wanted in life – you know, more than being me?" I said sarcastically.

Edward laughed. "I think you have it wrong, missy. He wanted both. I tried telling him that it was a world less forgiving of having your cake and eating it too, but he wouldn't dare listen to me… silly teenagers and their ideas on the world."

Edward brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. His cold fingers made me shiver a bit but I kept my thoughts to myself around him when I could.

"Bella, he thinks about you day and night. I'm so sick of hearing your name for the past two years."

"Well, Jacob made up his mind a long time ago. I've moved on."

Edward leaned into my direction with his cold but alluring breath enticing me to move closer to him.

"I know better Bella Swan. Your little boyfriend, James, is nothing but a temporary fix. He's your fill in until you finally break down and realize the mistakes you made in all this too."

His scent was too much for me. "Edward," I said clearing my throat, "I can't. I can't be with Jacob. He's turned into a monster and I won't allow myself to follow down that same path."

Edward leaned in even closer, this time his lips barely grazing my ear. He whispered, "We both know that's bullshit. You'll end up thanking me one day…"

"Excuse me, can I help you?" James said from behind me.

Edward didn't even budge.

"No actually, I think we're just about done catching up," Edward said.

He finally pulled his lips from my ears, stood up and walked past James, barely touching his shoulder with his arm.

"Who the fuck was that, Bella?" James said with such anger in his voice.

"That was an old high school friend of mine," I said trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

"That fuckwad was all up on you Bella!"

"Yes, and it was harmless, I promise you."

James took a seat next to me. "He comes into my club every single Wednesday night. He's got a huge crew with them each time – two girls and three other guys. I don't like the way they act. It's all so… what's the word… phony."

_Three other guys… wait… Jasper, Emmett… JACOB!_

"They barely drink anything, well except for the really big guy. He drinks his weight in beer and always tips really big. They take up the entire VIP section each time too – high dollar guys. You went to high school with him?"

"Briefly. He started right before my senior year ended. Him and his sister, Alice were a year behind me."

"What on earth do they do to spend so much cash?" James asked me.

"Their dad is doctor," I hated that he was asking so many questions. I felt like asking a few of my own.

"So the three other guys with my friend, what do they all look like? I wonder if his brothers are still following him around," I said.

"I'm not even sure if they are related to be honest. There is a blonde headed guy. He seems like he's southern with his accent. I talked to him one night after we closed down and he seemed pretty cool. The big guy seemed like a football player of sorts. Then the other guy barely says a word. He looks like someone pissed in his cornflakes or something."

"I don't remember Edward having a third brother. What exactly does he look like," I asked trying to push without pushing too far for answers.

"He has shorter brown hair and yellow eyes just like his friends. He's got darker skin than the two of us, almost native American like."

My heart went into an instant flutter.

_Jacob. _

"Ah, yes now I remember him." I said trying to play it off.

"So what was your friend, Edward, saying to you that he had to get so close?"

Shit. I was hoping I wouldn't be asked again.

"He was telling me how awesome it was to see me again. He was just about to leave actually."

"Well I didn't like how he looked at you. He looked like he could have devoured you and I wouldn't have known what happened to you. You could end up like your friend that got killed last night," James said.

"First off, Jessica wasn't my friend. She was a pain in my ass. Second of all, Edward wouldn't dare touch me."

James looked confused. Luckily for me he dropped the subject and I had no desire in even pushing the issue further.

However, the next Wednesday night, come hell or high water, I would be at James' club.

**JacobPOV **

I watched as Edward crossed the street back to our apartment building. I waited by the door ready to pound his ass into the ground for pulling that stunt.

She didn't need any confusion in her life and I felt like he just added a shit ton more into it.

"Jacob, before you beat the shit out of me, you might want to hear me out," Edward called from the other side of our apartment door.

I opened the door and he stood with that same damn smirk on his face. It must feel great to always know what is going on. It would explain that shit eating grin he always carried.

"She's unhappy." Edward said.

"Again, thank you captain fucking obvious. Remember, every time she cries, I can feel it too."

"No I mean, with James, dipshit."

"Oh. What did she say?"

Edward sat down in the big leather chair.

"She said she was happy, but when I read her thoughts, all I could see was you. It was quite disturbing actually. Your girl never stops thinking of sex. I would have sworn she was a guy."

I shook my head. "So you mean to tell me that this guy, James, isn't making her happy?"

"Nope-p."

If my heart was still beating, it would have fluttered then. Bella was unhappy and that sent a little bit of hope through my psyche.

"Oh and by the way, I don't know if you realize it, but your girl's new boy toy is that douche bag bartender at the club."

Great. Now I had another reason to not go now. Unless…

"She'll be there next Wednesday night. I just heard her say it in her mind."

"Edward, you know as much as I loathe my eternal existence with you, for once in your cold, dark fucked up life, you did me a favor. Why? What's in it for you?" I asked.

"I'm just tired of hearing you whine. It's bad when you even whine in your fucking thoughts."

I smiled at him. It was the first time in a while that I actually felt ok. I felt like I could figure this out. I just didn't know what to do or how to make it work, but Alice wasn't budging on advice. She wouldn't even tell me when Bells and I would return to our life together.

But if everything went according to her prediction, next Wednesday night could make or break my life with Bella.


	9. Chapter 9

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 9 – Too Many Mistakes**

**BellaPOV**

"Bella, please…"

_God he sounds like such a fucking pansy when he begs._

"James, for the last fucking time, no."

He took his arm off my naked stomach and laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. His bare chest was exposed and I could see the anger with every breathe he took.

"I'm sorry, James. You know I can't do it. I've told you more than my fair share of times that I'm just not ready yet."

"Jesus fucking Christ Bella! So this is how it's going to be. You'll just waltz over here when you want a good fuck and then you're out the door when you've got what you want?"

"You know as well as I do that isn't fair of you to say that."

He couldn't even look at me he was so angry. Everything was fine for the past two hours while he had me calling his name, but the moment he asked me to spend the night, my mood instantly shifted. Then he had to beg, which was equally as frustrating. What was he? Five?

I stood my naked, cold ass up out of bed and headed right for my clothes which were scattered all over the room. The truth of the matter was that yes, I had in fact used James that afternoon.

I don't know if it was the thought of Jacob being closer to me than normal or the visit from Edward. I had been in a horny mood since Edward's lips touched my ear. There was something visibly erotic to me about a vampire, who could easily kill me, leaving me be – even if it was to bring depressing news of Jacob.

I just wish I knew where he lived.

Would I go see him? Hells to the yes I would. I'd probably cause him more damage than he could do to me. He had no idea.

As I got dressed right in front of James, he sat up in bed and watched me. My mind was far away from him but he broke my concentration on Jacob.

"It's about him isn't it, Bells?"

I stopped buttoning my shirt.

"James, really, it's been two years."

"Yeah and you aren't even over the things he's done to you. I can see it. And when your friend Edward came to see you last night, I saw your face instantly brighten up."

"I was just glad to see someone from home is all," I lied.

James wasn't buying it.

"He mentioned Jacob didn't he?"

_Fuck._

"No he didn't. He was just saying hi, James. That is all!"

He still wasn't buying it.

"Bells, I love you, and I have since the day you set foot in the library. But I can't continue down this road if I know that it's all in vain."

My heart broke then. I couldn't be alone. I didn't care if it was with James or not. I just knew that I couldn't be left alone in this world. After I left Jacob, my doubts became my nightmares and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"James… I... I'm sorry," I said as I began to cry.

James jumped out of bed and ran straight to me. He held me close to him, just like I needed to be held. He let me to the side of the bed and still held me to him.

"I don't know what this Jacob guy did, or why he left you, but he was a dumb ass for doing so."

"I… I left him," I said.

"Oh. I always assumed he left you by the way you talked about him. Why did you leave him?"

"He made a ton of stupid decisions," I sobbed.

James held me. I hated it when he did this but loved it at the same time. His strong arms felt so good wrapped around me and he was warm… very warm. I thought about Jacob again but realized when Edward's hand touched my face with his cold fingers that this is the kind of warmth I would be missing. I didn't know how I could handle it.

"James?" I said.

"Yes, Bells."

"Do you have a T-shirt I can sleep in?"

I looked up and James was all smiles.

"Yes, actually I do."

James got up from bed and got me an oversized T-shirt for me to sleep in. I knew I was only doing this because I felt guilty for what I did to him, but at least tonight I wouldn't be alone.

I only prayed that Jacob would stay away from my dreams.

I sat back in bed as James got ready for work. I pulled out my laptop and started in on my short story. This was going to be a long night indeed.

**JacobPOV**

Fuck.

I hated this shit.

I knew exactly what Bella was doing at this exact moment and these were the afternoons I hated the most. Each time her orgasms would hit, it would hit me too and it was the most wonderfully disturbing feeling in the entire world.

I was mostly pissed that it wasn't me that caused her to feel so good.

The orgasmic feeling finally went away but then sadness struck me with such vengeance that I couldn't stand myself. I sat on my futon bed with my face in my hands. If I could cry, I would be pouring tears right now.

It occurred to me that Bella was crying somewhere out there and if that little shit James had anything to do with her being in so much pain he'd better pray and hope I didn't find out about it. Jessica Stanley wouldn't be my only victim this year.

Edward was hell bent on us going out tonight. It was only Thursday but he said being out may help me get over what I'd done to Jessica. Apparently it was all over the news that an animal attacked her.

The Wildlife people were saying that it was possible for a wolf or something to enter into town and to be on the lookout for a vicious animal. I laughed so hard at the news this afternoon when they showed a picture of the possible animal.

They should have shown a picture of me instead.

As night crept closer, Alice and Rosalie came out of Alice's room dressed in black vinyl outfits and platform vinyl boots. I don't know what on earth came over Alice to dress in vinyl, but she said that if they had to go to the club, they at least wanted to fit in.

Vampires fitting into a vampire club. That was the funniest shit I'd ever heard.

I always wore the same thing each time: black jeans, white T-shirt. This made my life a little bit easier. Alice hated my outfit. She wanted nothing more than to dress me like Edward or Jasper – hell even Emmett – but I wouldn't budge. She finally gave up and bought me a whole bunch of shit, none of which I've even touched.

We walked the rainy streets of Seattle to the club that was merely across the way from our apartment. The faces always looked the same. Humans couldn't handle the cold the way we could. We had to dress the part though and wore our long black trench coats which would be left at the door as soon as we got to the club.

We didn't even get ID checked anymore. The bouncers knew us by name and each time, Edward would slip a hundred dollar bill to the bouncer.

As we walked up the stairs to the VIP club, I noticed that the club wasn't as full as the previous times we'd been there.

A cute waitress with black and blue dreads walked up to us to take our drink orders. She definitely new and was falling all over her four inch platform boots to wait on our table. Alice and Rosalie snickered as she approached us.

"Hello there. I'm Sabbath. I'll be your waitress for tonight."

"Is this fucking Denny's or something?" Edward said.

She blushed from sheer embarrassment.

"No. Sorry, first night. Just a little bit nervous is all."

"It's ok," Alice said with a smile. Then she glared at Edward.

"I'm Alice. This is Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Jacob."

She smiled right in my direction. Great, just what I needed.

"What can I get for you to drink tonight?"

Emmett reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. His credit card was in his hands faster than lightning.

"Fat Tire, and keep them coming until I tell you to stop."

The waitress' eyes lit up and then fell when the rest of us ordered a glass of water. I don't know what her fucking problem was. Emmett would tip her $500 if she kept a glass of beer in his hands.

Finally the DJ started playing music and Alice and Rosalie got up to dance. They could dance all night long and I knew this was going to be another long night.

Edward laughed as his sat his glass of water down on the table.

"James is pretty fucking content with himself right now."

I glared down at the bar near the dance floor. James was drying off his shaker and staring back up at us.

"What the fuck is he staring at?" I asked Edward.

"He's trying to figure out what kind of connection I have with Bella. He doesn't particularly like the way I handled her today."

I thought it was funny. James thought Bella and Edward had something going. Little did he know it was me and I preferred to keep it that way as long as possible.

Then Edward's eyes diverted away from James and back to the entrance of the club. He let out a growl and I'd never seen Edward nervous. Well, never until at that moment.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a complication of sorts."

He looked over at Jasper and he smiled. Jasper also saw the same four figures walk into the club.

"Who are they?"

"They are friends of Jazz."

"Were friends of mine," Jasper corrected Edward.

"What the fuck ever. Why are they here?" I asked.

Edward sat silent for a moment.

"Apparently they are here to see Jasper."

As soon as he said Jasper's name, one of the men looked straight up at the VIP section and smiled. They glided through the club with such ease it didn't even seem like they were walking. Everyone around them didn't even seem to notice the four vampires walk past them.

We made room for the four of them. There were two guys and two girls.

"Jacob, you haven't met my former clan. This is Maria, Benito, Charlotte and Peter."

They looked just as the rest of us except they had bright red eyes, a symptom of only drinking human blood. I got a very uneasy feeling about the four of them but I kept my mind and mouth shut.

"Nice to meet you, Jacob," Maria said.

"Likewise," I responded.

"Jasper, I thought you had better taste than to be subjected to such farces," Benito said to Jazz.

"Well, we actually blend in well here believe it or not," Jasper said.

"Ha. Just look at all of them, wishing they could be like us. If they only knew the ten of us could make that happen if they wanted it that bad."

Just then the blue haired girl came back to our table.

Benito ran his tongue over the front of his teeth as the girl placed Emmett's drink on the table. Benito grabbed her arm as she loomed over him.

"Take this sweet little girl here. What is your name missy?"

"It's Sabbath."

"Ah ha. Sabbath. Like the seventh day of worship. Funny stuff I must say. Tell me Sabbath, do you secretly wish you were a vampire?"

Sabbath's face got all flushed and she said, "Well, I've never actually considered it."

"What if I told you that I could make that happen for you, would you do it?"

Her eyes got really big as Benito leaned into her face.

"Well, do you?"

"Um… no… not really."

Benito let go of her arm. I did not like the way this was going but I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.

Sabbath ran off from the table utterly creeped out. She took off her apron and sat it down on the counter top and fled from the club.

"Fuck, now who's going to bring me my drinks," Emmett said.

Charlotte stood up, taking his empty glass. "What do you want?"

"Fat Tire, and tell the bartender to send another waitress. Benito, don't fuck with the next one, k?"

"You guys are so fucking boring. How would you like to have some real fun?" Peter said.

"What kind of fun are you talking about?" Edward asked.

"Well if the six of you had been paying attention around you, we're in the land of the fucking lost right now. Each one of these humans don't even seem like an enjoyable meal to me. We're going to a real vampire club in a bit." Peter said.

"Ok that's fine and dandy, but won't there be just vampires there?" Emmett asked.

"No, not at all. You'll see."

Rosalie and Alice danced for another hour and Emmett finally had his fill of beer.

We stood up leaving a huge tip, in which Emmett told the bartender to call the waitress and give her that tip money, and he apologized on Benito's behalf.

As we left, James stared us down until we were out the door.

We all left together in the largest group of vampires I'd ever seen.

We walked for another seven blocks until we came upon a large warehouse that had the windows blacked out.

I could hear the music blaring out the door of the club. The bouncer standing at the door was twice the size of Emmett.

He stopped the ten of us at the door. Benito nodded at him and we were let in. I tried my hardest not even look at the bouncer and for the first time in two years, I was afraid of something.

Benito led us through the darkened foyer of the club. The minute we stepped through the curtains, my eyes were huge with wonder.

Hanging from the ceiling were eight steel cages that looked like over sized bird cages. Dancing completely naked were eight women. I could tell that four of them were vampires, and four of them were human.

Underneath the cages placed on top of thick glass panes which held bright black lights was the dance floor. The walls were covered in neon colors and they reflected the black lights that stood out around us. It was packed with vampire. And every single one of the vampires glowed in the black light.

I had never in my life even realized how many of our kind existed. I always thought we were special – a small but separate breed from the humans.

This scared me that all this time we weren't the deadliest things in the city. My first thought went straight to Bella. She wandered around the city streets all by herself and my gut reaction was to work to protect her. Edward looked at me with the same wide-eyed wonderment that filled all of us.

Benito then led us up a flight of open stairs to the balcony. I instantly assumed that this was the VIP section for the club.

Once we reached the top of the steps, I gazed over the view of the second floor. It held six tables with poles. The couches that surrounded the tables were covered in red velvet.

We went to a far back corner. As we passed by the tables, I almost wanted to close my eyes to keep from staring. Each table had a stripper on it dancing to the club mixes the DJ's were playing downstairs. They seemed to be playing "Angel with the Scabbed Wings" by Marilyn Manson and that song was so appropriate for this club.

Some of the vampires were half naked, having sex on the couches as the strippers danced right in front of them. It was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life.

We took our seats surrounding a giant black table with a silver pole. A topless cocktail waitress brought us napkins.

"Well hello Benito. I see you brought friends with you."

"Hello Jane, good to see you are working tonight. Usual, ok?"

"Sure thing," she said as she winked.

Benito then turned his direction to us.

"So what do you think of the place?"

"Um, it's very interesting for sure," Alice said.

Each time Jasper would divert his attention away from Alice, she'd glare at him.

This could not end well tonight at all.

"Ah here she is," Benito said.

A short brown haired girl with eyes of green stood before us. She wore a purple velvet corset and matching thongs. Her thigh highs she wore also matched her outfit. Her clear four inch stripper shoes didn't give her too much height.

She twirled her hair between her fingers and my first thoughts were of Bella again.

This girl could have been her spitting image.

Except Bella wasn't a cracked out whore.

You could see the years of wear and tear on this young girl. Her eyes said it all. They were bloodshot and her face already began to show lines around her forehead. I don't know what she was thinking, but working as a stripper in a vampire club seemed to be the most dangerous job in the world.

"Hi, Benito," the young girl said.

"I've brought friends this time, Lauren. Why don't you show them what you can do?"

Lauren.

_Oh. _

_My. _

_God._

Laruen was Bella's old high school lab partner. What on earth happened to her for her to work here? As soon as the thoughts ran across my mind, Edward looked over at me. He was concerned for her, too. I could see it in his face.

She stepped up on the table with Benito's help and she began to twirl around the pole. Benito stared up at her as though she was his prized possession.

My entire Cullen family seemed at odds with themselves – especially Jasper.

He looked so uncomfortable and as much as he tried to calm the room down, and calm himself down it didn't seem to be working. Alice held his hand tight to keep the possibility of him attacking this girl in front of us.

She removed her top and threw it at Benito who seemed to be lapping it up.

Her pale breast matched the rest of her and she must have been cold. Her nipples were a very pretty scarlet color and I couldn't take my eyes off her.

I had no idea what on earth possessed us to even join them in this club. I think I'd finally gotten so bored with everyday life and this seemed like something different.

And I began to regret this decision.

I felt myself gripping the table harder, trying so hard to not lunge at the human blood bank dancing in front of me, teasing me not only with her body, but with her life.

She squatted down in front of me, her back pressed up against the pole, legs spread before me and put her finger in her mouth as she stared back at me. She dropped to all fours and crawled straight for me, her tits almost dragging the table.

She got inches from me, playing with her life as she got on to her knees. My body felt like I could lose control. I had a sudden buzzing in my ears that felt like electricity running through my veins.

I had to have her – pinned up against that pole, fucking the shit out of her then sucking her dry of every ounce of blood she carried underneath her skin.

She took my face into her hands and got inches from my lips with hers and then pushed me away. It took every ounce of restraint I had to not take her life right then.

I didn't even realize that another person had joined our table.

Another human was in close proximity to us. This time it was a guy and it seemed like him and Benito knew each other. I couldn't concentrate on them though. I couldn't take my eyes off my next kill.

She stood back up and danced back over to Benito and dropped again on all fours with her ass in his direction, still staring me down.

The gentleman with Benito pulled out a small bag and spread it's contents right across the ass cheek of Lauren and the sniffed it right off her.

I'd heard of this happening, but I always thought it was a giant joke.

Edward sat beside Benito not saying a word but the uncomfortable atmosphere was taking a toll on all of us.

The only one who seemed to be enjoying himself was Benito.

_Edward. We need to leave, NOW! If we don't, you might as well lock me up for murder. If she puts her tits in my face one more time, I don't know if I can resist killing her._

Edward nodded in my direction.

"Benito, this has been nice and everything, but we need to get back to the apartment." Edward said.

"What? You guys act like you have something important to do."

"Seriously, it's been a nice time but we need to get to work on some things," Emmett said.

We all stood up leaving Benito's crew at the table.

"Well, fine, be the spoiler of the party then."

Edward threw down a hundred dollar bill on the table and the six of us left as fast as we could get out the door.

The rain fell on us as we walked down the street. None of us said a single word all the way to the apartment.

Once our feet landed in the apartment, Rosalie said, "Jasper Hale, if you ever fucking let those dicks in my proximity again, I will cut your dick off, got me?"

"It wasn't my doing Rosalie. If I'd known what they had in store for us, I would have told them no." Jazz said in his defense.

"Well fuck, we'll have to go hunting a day early now. I can't stay another minute in this city with the picture of Lauren's tits in my face," I said.

Edward nodded in agreement.

"Let's go to the garage and drive out towards Forks for a bit. We need to eat something or else the next human I come upon will be my dinner," Emmett said. "Plus I'm dying to see Carlisle. It seems like ages since we've been home."

"It was just last week," Alice said.

We grabbed the keys to my Aston Martin and Emmett's Jeep. We exited the apartment but then Edward wanted to take his car also and he told us to go on ahead, he would catch up.

We walked down the wet road as I glanced back at Edward as he walked up the steps to the apartment.

**EdwardPOV**

It took no time for me to reach the apartment. I wanted to drive tonight. I needed the feel of the road beneath my feet.

Lauren.

God damnit she was fucking hot as hell.

And, the worst part of it was – I wanted to kill her.

I haven't had that much desire to kill in such a long time. I thought I had learned to control my desire for human blood and damnit Benito had to fucking ruin that shit for me.

I grabbed the keys off the key holder at the door and walked out the front door of our apartment. I zipped down the steps until I got down to the bottom floor.

And then I saw him standing in the lobby waiting on the elevator.

He turned around and said, "Hey, aren't you Bella's friend, Edward."

"Yes. Good seeing you again," I said as I tried walking out the door.

That little fucker was faster than I thought he could be.

He got right up in my personal space as I tried to leave.

"Where do you think you are going in such a fucking hurry?" James asked me.

"I was going out for the night, why do you ask?" I said trying to remain calm.

"Well, I came over to have a little discussion with you. I don't know what the fuck you and Bella had going on at one time, but she's mine now, do you understand me?"

I laughed.

"She's yours huh? Do you have her papers or something that I can see?"

"Ah, and you're a smart ass too. Just listen here, Edward. I know you have the money and the entourage but she's mine and I want you to get that through your ugly ass fucking head, got me?"

"And if I don't what are you going to do about it?" I said as I bowed up at him.

"I will personally see to it that you don't show your face in my fucking club again. It will be quite difficult to even go in when I break both of your legs."

I laughed again.

"What's so fucking funny?" he asked.

"You really think you could take me huh?"

"I know I can."

I stood in front of this weak human who thought he could take over the fucking world.

So I did something I would soon regret. I provoked him.

"Prove it."

James took a swing at me and when his hand hit my face, I felt the crack of his knuckles as they shattered on my face.

James let out a huge yell.

"What the fuck? Who the fuck are you? What the fuck are you?"

I smiled at him. "Someone you shouldn't fuck with unless you know what you are dealing with."

He lunged at me again and this time I took him into a headlock.

I could have popped his head off like the head of a shrimp but I kept my strength under control.

"James, I think it would be in your best interest to leave me alone tonight. I'm not in the mood to deal with your stupid bullshit."

I let him go and he lunged at me again.

Stupid human, damn.

I grabbed him by the throat and held him up against the wall of the lobby.

I got right into his face and said, "James, I'm not going to say this again, leave me alone or you are going to regret fucking with me."

"I – I – I won't l-l-leave you alone."

I don't know if it was the vampire club that got to me or that I was energized from the whole Lauren thing and still craved blood but I watched as James' jugular pulsed beneath my fingers and I couldn't resist myself.

I reached to his neck, feeling the venom as it leaked from my teeth. My teeth dug deep into his skin as his warm blood flowed into my mouth.

My throat lit on fire as his blood pulsed into my mouth. I have not felt the feel of human blood enter my throat in over sixty years and I tried so hard to stop. I needed to stop.

I snatched my face away from his neck and it was then that I realized what I'd done.

I just fucked up a lot of things for a lot of people.

I picked James up and ran out of the door of our apartment complex, straight for my car – and then straight for Forks, Washington.

I needed Carlisle.

James was about to become something he didn't want to become, or even knew actually existed.

**BellaPOV**

It was three in the morning and James had yet to come back to the apartment. I couldn't wait much longer on him and then realized I'd made a huge mistake in allowing myself to stay the night.

I got up from his bed and packed my stuff right away. I got dressed and headed home. Before I did, I left a note by his phone that said "I'm sorry, but I couldn't do it. I'm on my way home and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I walked back to my apartment and the moment I stepped into the lobby, I smelled salt and rust. I looked down and saw a small pool of blood. It couldn't have been the size of quarter but I could smell it. I hoped whoever was bleeding took care of their wounds as soon as possible and that the apartment janitor would clean that mess up. I pressed the up button of the elevator and finally got on.

The walk plus all the events of the day took a toll on my body. I instantly fell asleep that night, briefly waking in tears over Jacob and then back to sleep I went.

I woke up the next morning with a huge headache. I needed to start taking better care of myself. I can't keep staying up until three in the morning waiting on James anymore.

I walked into the living room and turned the TV on to the morning news.

I stood in my robe watching the events of the day and drinking a cup of hot coffee.

"In other news, the body of twenty-year old Lauren Mallory was found this morning behind the Breaking Dawn club. The police are calling it an apparent suicide, but citizens are concerned that this is the second death in that immediate are in less than a week."

Oh. Fuck. Not Lauren too!

I prayed and hoped it was other vampires doing the killings of these girls. I couldn't bear to think of the Cullens or Jacob doing this.

I got up and turned my TV off.

As the morning drudged on, I had not heard from James and I was scared to death that he was pissed at me for leaving the previous night.

I waited until four in the afternoon to call him.

His phone rang over eight times until his voice mail came on.

Great. Now he's ignoring me.

I sat back down on the couch and flipped the channels. I became so bored with the television and decided to pay Angela a visit at the coffee shop.

I got dressed for the outside weather and walked to the coffee shop. I noticed that the small pool of blood was gone from the lobby. If I hadn't been so tired the night before, I would have fainted at the mere sight of it.

She saw me and of course was upset over Lauren's death too. She was freaked out that two of the girls from our high school were dead in less than a week. I just considered it a coincidence.

"Angela, have you seen James today?"

"Nope. He hasn't been in today. Has he not called you?"

"We kind of had a falling out yesterday. He left me at his apartment to go to work and didn't show up at three in the morning so I went home. I left a note. I think he's just angry with me for not staying."

"Why don't you go by his apartment? Maybe he is sleeping," Angela said.

I hugged her and got a coffee to go. I put on my iPod and walked toward James' apartment blaring music in my ears.

I walked up the stairs to his place and beat on his front door. No one came and I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key he gave me last night.

I put the key in expecting to see him angrily sitting on the couch, however, it didn't seem like anything budged from last night. The note I wrote him still sat beside his phone.

I instantly got worried, especially with all the murders taking place around us.

I reached for my cell phone.

"Hello, hi yes, this is Bella Swan. I need to report a missing person."


	10. Chapter 10

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 10 – The Fallout**

**A/N: My apologies for taking so long on this chapter. All characters belong to Ms. SM. **

**JacobPOV**

The dark garage was all ablaze with florescent lights as we flipped the switch for our area. All our cars lined the back wall of the giant garage and I was quite certain that he amount spent on them exceeded any money that I would had made in my mortal lifetime.

I slid into the seat of my beautiful blue Aston Martin. It went so fucking fast – faster than any car I'd ever been in before. The perks of being immortal, I could drive over a hundred, crash and walk away as though nothing had ever happened. It would be almost impossible for me though. My reflexes are almost cat like and I can see further than most wild animals can.

I started the engine to my car as did the other Cullen members and it felt good to have the car purr beneath my hands and feet. I always loved cars and the mere fact that I had this one made me thankful for Alice – even as annoying as she could be.

One by one we shot out of the garage. We drove slowly through the streets of Seattle, but the moment we reached the back roads to Forks, we shot up to speed. Emmett tried to pass me in his Jeep but couldn't even touch me. My Aston Martin was fast – I think I pissed him off. I slowed to his pace and the driving actually calmed my thirst down a little bit. There was this stark pain still in the back of my throat that burned horribly.

We finally got the Cullen house in only an hour and a half. The moment we pulled into the driveway, I let out a sigh of relief.

Carlisle and Esme met us at the driveway and instantly welcomed us back into their embrace. It was such a great feeling to be back somewhere familiar.

"Where's Edward?" Esme asked me.

"He wanted to drive his car so he fell back a little bit." I said.

Esme shot a glance at Alice as a blank stare fell over her face. She cringed in pain and said, "No, Edward… don't… don't…"

Carlisle shook Alice out of her daze.

"What is wrong Alice?"

"Edward… he just… oh no."

"He what?" Carlisle asked.

"He bit someone."

Esme gasped and Emmett and Roslie both shook their heads.

"Did you see who it was?" I asked.

"No. I could only see Edward's face, and it was covered in blood."

The rest of the time waiting for Edward to arrive seemed to drag by slower than it ever had.

I sat on the steps outside waiting on him. I knew he'd be an emotional wreck, just as I had. We chose the life of being a "vegetarian" for a reason and killing humans, even though appetizing, wasn't something we took pride in.

I saw a Silver Volvo pull into the drive of the Cullen house and I noticed that he had someone with him in the car.

He jumped out screaming, "Carlisle, come quick, help me."

Carlisle ran out the door and straight to Edward's aid. They pulled a blonde man out of the car and took him straight into the house. I had no idea what they were thinking but they had to be crazy to allow him to transform. I wouldn't wish this on anyone now that I knew what I would be missing.

I followed behind the madness and found a familiar face, slowing dying and changing into the very monster that the rest of us were.

James.

Bella was going to fucking kill me.

Well, she would kill Edward first, and then kill me second by association.

James let out a huge scream as he wriggled in pain and I screamed to Carlisle, "Do something for him, we can't let the change happen."

"Do you know this gentleman?" Carlisle asked Edward and me. We both shook our heads yes.

"Well, you both need to be here when he wakes. He'll be really angry and confused. Emmett, you'll need to stick around too. He's going to be a newborn and they have tremendous strength, if you remember well, Jacob."

Of course I remembered. I literally shot through a brick wall towards a deer during my first couple of months. The thirst became too much for me to handle and before Edward or Emmett could catch me, I was gone through the wall of the house. It cost Carlisle a pretty penny to have that wall fixed.

I shook my head yes.

The next twenty-four hours would be tough to endure. I knew what was happening to his body and I felt a ton of sympathy for him, even though his dick had been inside my girl for the past couple of months.

I couldn't blame him for anything. I was the one who fucked up and now he lay in front of me, slowly fading away from his human life and I wanted to apologize for what Edward had done to him. It wasn't fair.

I walked outside to get away from all the death that fumed the air around us. I could hear his heartbeat slowly dying. It would speed and then slow down at rapid rate.

I watched as the sun came up over the horizon in Forks and I remembered the first time I noticed myself sparkling in the sun. I was actually quite pissed off that I would sparkle. I always thought that was the gayest thing about being a fucking vampire. I now embrace it but it took a year for that to happen. At least I didn't explode in sunlight. That was a huge plus.

After the sun met my skin, I decided to check in on our new member. I felt like I should have been waiting with a member's only jacket or some cookies or shit when he woke up. It almost did feel like a club of some proportions – a fucked up, members only club where you got eternal thirst instead of a jacket.

I sat down in the chair next to where James laid going through his change. Esme was in the other room with Alice and Rosalie while they tried to help me come up with a way to tell Bella. Edward was off hunting with Emmett and Jasper sat across from me, trying to lighten the mood with his ever present gift. It was helping and soon I felt a little more relaxed.

A sudden ringtone hit my ears and I reached James' pocket and quickly removed a cell phone. It was Bella. I wanted so bad to answer her call but I knew I couldn't. Alice and Esme quickly joined the rest of us in the room.

"Jacob, you need to just talk to her. You need to tell her what is going on. I'm sure she'll listen to you," Alice said.

"I-I can't. It has been too long. I'm sure she'll hate me once I tell her."

"Then I'll tell her," Edward said from behind me. "I'll let her know that you had nothing to do with this and it was my fault."

I stared at him with such interest. I couldn't believe he was doing this.

We let the phone go to voicemail and waited for James to get further into his transformation before we called Bella.

**BellaPOV**

"What do you mean you can't do anything for me until he's been missing for forty-eight hours? No he's never disappeared like this before… Can't you do something? … Fine, thanks for your non-help."

I slammed the phone closed and glanced around James' apartment once more to make sure nothing gave me any clue as to where he could be.

I locked his door and shut it behind me and walked home in the rainy streets of Seattle worried to death about my boyfriend.

I'd finally come to terms that he was in fact my boyfriend and I was ok with that. I felt some since of betrayal in his disappearance. He promised me that he would never leave me or hurt me the way Jacob did, and yet he was gone.

I walked slowly hoping that I would run into him somewhere on the streets. I kept thinking that maybe he got drunk and slept at the club. I called the club several times on my way to my apartment and finally got the club owner. He said that James left last night and that he had not even been drinking the entire night.

That theory got thrown out the window fast. I called a friend of his who would come to the coffee shop and hang out for a while, but she wasn't answering her phone either.

I finally walked into my apartment and sat down on the couch bewildered to his whereabouts. I tried his cell several times after that and each time would not get an answer.

I turned the television back on to keep my mind occupied. I must have checked my phone a million times over the course of the hours that flew by.

I finally got so upset that I couldn't take it anymore. I got dressed and decided that I couldn't be in Seattle alone anymore. I stood up, put my shoes on, packed my bags, watered my plants and went to retrieve my car from the garage. I was going home to Forks. I needed my dad and I was tired of being alone.

The four hour drive flew by as I listened to music and hoped that James would call me. The closer to Forks I got, the better I felt. I felt like James did this to me on purpose for the way I treated him before I said I'd spend the night.

I pulled into the drive at Charlie's house and looked up to the window of my old bedroom. The flood of memories of the good times I had living here came back to me and then the tears began to fall. I looked at the doorway to see Charlie standing with his hands in his pockets.

"So what do I owe the pleasure of my little girl coming home?"

I ran straight to him and hugged him so tight. I was crazy to think that I needed to be away from home.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he wiped a tear away from my cheek?

"I – I just missed being home is all."

"Well, you are welcome anytime. You know that."

He escorted me back into the house and I kept glancing at my silent cell phone for any sign that James was ok. I still had nothing and I didn't know what to do. I wanted so bad to tell my dad about James but after the Jacob fiasco, the mere mentioning of another guy to my dad was hard. He never understood why I left Jacob, especially when he needed me the most. I couldn't even begin to explain to him how he hurt me and I wasn't about to start tonight.

We ate our dinner in silence. I cooked, like I had done as a teenager living at home with him. My dad couldn't cook anything except fried fish, and we had plenty of that still. He would go with Harry Clearwater still to their favorite fishing hole.

"I haven't heard from Jacob in a while," Dad said as he cleared his plate into the trash.

"Dad, do we really need to talk about him right now?"

"I just thought I'd let you know. You never had problems with me talking about him before."

"I know, it's just this place brings back more memories of him than I care to think about," I said.

"Ok. I won't say anything else about him until you are ready to talk."

"Thanks Dad. I'm going upstairs to take a shower and dress for bed. I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

"Sure Bells. Hey, we are going to Billy's place tomorrow to finish working on the old boat. You wanna come with us and just hang out?"

"I don't see why not. Just try not to mention Jacob's name." I cringed as I said his name out loud. It still hurt to say it.

Sleep did not come easy at all for me that night. I kept envisioning Jacob leering over me with his mouth wide open ready to consume me. I would wake up screaming into my pillow, trying so hard to not wake Charlie. I think it worked each time. I could hear him snoring still as the pillow did a great job as a muzzle to my pain.

The morning came too early for me as I tried so hard to get out of bed. I promised Dad I would spend time with him and Harry down at Billy's house. I was torturing myself in even setting foot in La Push but I knew it was the best idea for me to finally get past all this guilt that I put myself through for hating Jacob as much as I did.

I rode with my dad to Billy's house and standing on the porch waiting patiently was Harry Clearwater. He'd aged a bit since I saw him last and he immediately gave me a huge bear hug the moment I got within three feet of him.

Charlie caught me up to date on a lot of the people who remained behind in La Push. I told him about what happened to Jessica and Lauren. He asked me if I felt like coming home and I told him I had thought about it but wasn't sure if I needed to or not.

"You know the door and your room is always welcome to you. Or, if you felt like living under your old man was too childish, I could let you have the keys to Billy's place. I'm sure him or… you know who wouldn't mind you living in it."

I loved the idea of living near the beach but I also knew that it was still Jacob's house. Dad was only overseeing the house. He refused to let Jacob give it to him and told Jacob that if he ever changed his mind, he could have the keys back.

"I'll think about it," I said.

He tussled up my hair a bit and got back to work on the boat. I sat on the ground staring into the woods. Through a small patch of the woods that stood opposite of the garage where Dad and Harry worked hard on the boat stood the cliff that Jacob talked me down from. Those memories seemed like years ago and I wanted nothing more than to have him in my arms again.

Sadness took over my body again as I remembered his warm embrace welcoming me, letting me know that I was ok and that everything would eventually change. I missed his smile. I missed his heavy heartbeat that I could hear when I would lay my head on his chest.

I stood up from the wet ground and dusted my wet ass off.

"I'll be back in a bit," I said. "I'm going for a short walk."

"Be careful. Watch for wild animals," Harry called back as I walked towards the clearing.

The pain that I felt that day slowly began easing back into me like a wound that had been re-opened. I felt the same kind of fear that I would never be loved completely crept back up my spine and into the open sores that sat in my heart. I felt the tears as they began to fall and I couldn't help the over abundance of despair that poured over me.

I stood at the cliff's edge watching as the waves crashed into the side, just as I had done that day that Jacob came to rescue me. The only difference today would be he couldn't save me this time. He was off, somewhere, living the life of immortality that he had chosen for himself. I wanted to crawl into a ball on the side of that cliff and not move. I wanted Jacob back so bad.

As I took a step towards the rocks I heard a familiar voice call to me softly, "Bella, don't… I'm sorry."

I didn't even look up. "Jacob," I whispered, "Why were you so selfish?"

"I realize now that I was… I'm so sorry I let you down," the voice whispered back.

I turned around slowly. Standing, in the clearing, was Jacob Black.

My heart stopped for a split second and I felt like I was hallucinating.

**JacobPOV**

I watched a James' body wriggled and struggled in agony. His transformation was almost complete and I had no idea how I could explain everything to him. I knew it was only a matter of hours before he was done and I walked away from his couch, staring out the massive windows of the Cullen house.

Edward came up behind me and said, "Bella is in Forks."

"I had a feeling she was." My mood began to shift only an hour ago. I knew she was near. I could feel her emotions as they took over me the moment she drove over the town line of Forks.

"How is she?" I asked.

"She seems ok for now. She's worried tons about James. I think you need to go talk to her."

"I can't Edward; I wouldn't know what to say to her."

"Just go talk to her. I think she needs you right now. She's at your dad's old place. I can see her thoughts. She's thinking about waves, and water."

I bolted right out the door. That was all he had to say to me and I ran through the woods right for my Dad's house. I stopped at the edge of the woods as soon as I realized that Charlie and Harry were there. I couldn't let them see me this way.

I crept through the woods until I reached the clearing in the brush where I found Bella years ago, daring to hit the rocks below.

"Bella, don't… I'm sorry."

She called me selfish. The mere thought of her thinking of me as that sent me into a tailspin. To hear her words as she released so much pain from her lips tore the last piece of humanity I had left I me out and I wanted nothing more than to make her realize that I still loved her.

"I realize now that I was… I'm so sorry I let you down," I said softly.

She turned slightly to me and realized that I really stood before her. Her tear stained cheeks took me back to the day I had to rescue her from here and I only hoped and prayed that she would let me again.

"Bella, you deserve so much better than the pain you've been living with. I'm so sorry I let you down and I would do anything on earth to relieve all the pain that I've caused you, and…"

"Just shut up and come to me," Bella said.

I walked slowly to her and she met me halfway, wrapping her small arms around my waist as I took her back into my arms, determined to never let her go again.


	11. Chapter 11

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 11 – Familiarity**

**BellaPOV**

His embrace made me shiver.

Jacob's ice cold arms enclosed around me, inviting me back into something that should have been familiar. I took a deep breath looking for anything that would remind me of Jacob. His scent, though enticing, was nothing like I remembered him to be. I felt entranced by the beautiful creature that stood before me. No, he did not smell like my Jacob, but it was more alluring.

Jacob's arms squeezed tighter around me. I felt like he was holding on to me to keep me from running away. As my head lay on his chest, I noticed not a single breath escaped his lungs. That was the moment I realized being with him wasn't natural.

It wasn't normal.

I loosened his hold over me and took a step back, gazing at the beautiful creature that stood before me. His eyes were the color of citrine with small flecks of red in them. His jaw line was more defined and his high cheekbones followed suit. Jacob's massive, muscular arms looked like those sculpted from Greek statues and I felt as though his features had almost become enhanced from the Jacob I knew. His hair gathered tied back from around his face and I felt myself gaping at him. I wanted so bad to touch him again.

He wasn't my Jacob. He was an advanced version of the man that I loved. I wanted so bad to forgive him for what he did and climb right back into his arms again, but I couldn't push that part of me to the front of my feelings for him. I still hated him for the hell he put me through the past two years. I wanted to make him suffer for the things he did.

As the anger and frustration built up in front of me, I thought of the many nights I sat in my room crying, wondering where he went, how he was fairing and if he even thought of me. I squeezed my hands beside me so tight I knew my nails had pierced my skin.

I closed my eyes, hoping it would make all this pain and confusion go away but the moment I opened them, he still stood in front of me, almost begging me to make a decision.

I hated to feel pressured and my only reaction was to make him understand what he did to me.

It hurt. My hand felt like I slapped a marble table the moment it reached Jacob's face. Not only did he look like a Greek statue, he felt like one too.

I yelped out in agony and pain as I danced in a small circle. I just knew I broke my hand. I also noticed that Jacob seemed to be in agony himself.

I thought vampires felt no pain.

"What the fuck was that for?" Jacob asked as I still tried to shake the pain off my hand.

"How fucking dare you Jacob Black. How dare you come back into my life like this and think that just by hugging me makes the past two years go away. Do you know what you did to me all this time? I loved you so much and you left me. You fucking left me!"

His eyes reacted in the pain I felt. I could have sworn I saw him grimace as my heart felt like it was breaking all over again.

_Good. You fucking share in my pain you selfish bastard._

I hated him so much at that moment. As much as I hated him, however, I wanted to be back in his embrace again.

I was so confused.

"Bella, please try to understand why I did what I did. I wanted to be able to protect you from anything. I couldn't bear to lose you and in the end, I lost you anyway. I'm only here asking for your forgiveness. I'm not asking you to take me back, but I really miss you so much."

His eyes were pleading and the intensity of his gaze held me for a moment as my mouth fell open to say something but I couldn't find the words.

A small smile lifted across his face and I had no idea what he was thinking.

"You miss me too, don't you Bella?" Jacob asked me. "You miss me enough to stand here in front of me and not run away. You could have so many times in this conversation, but you haven't yet."

He was right. I didn't have to talk to him. I could walk away and never have to deal with his bullshit or the drama anymore.

Here I stood. I wanted to talk to him about the things that I felt and the memories of us that I held onto.

I hated that he was right. I loved that he was right.

I loved him.

Period.

End of discussion.

I felt my heart mending at the mere sight of the smile that spread across his beautiful face. He was the reason I held onto so much hope that I could wholeheartedly love someone again.

He hurt me. Yes, that was the biggest issue in all this. He went against the one thing I was so adamant about. I wanted him human, to be with me until our natural eternity came to an end.

How could I hate him so much when it didn't matter? He was still here for me. He still wanted to love me, and be with me, a mere human who couldn't do the things he could.

He didn't care.

He wanted me.

I took a step forward, watching his gaze and I wanted him to touch me again.

It was as though he could read my mind and he held his hands out to me.

I grabbed both hands in unison as the coldness ran up my arms.

"Jacob," I said as I squeezed his hands.

"Yes, Bella."

"Don't you ever fucking leave me again, do you understand me. I don't care if I have to follow you to the end of my days, don't ever leave me again."

An even bigger smile played across his face.

I knew I was forgiving him so easily. I knew that I was eventually paying a higher price later.

What was the going rate for eternal love these days?

Oh yeah, that's right. One soul.

That was ok with me though. Jacob already had every single part of me.

My heart.

My body.

He also had my soul. How could I lose something I didn't have in the first place?

I pulled Jacob's arms around me, letting him love me again.

As I glanced up to him, his golden eyes lit up.

"Bella, I swear to you, I won't let anything happen to you. I will always be here for you. I'm never leaving your side again."

**JacobPOV**

I felt it as her mood shifted.

At first she was happy. She was glad to be back with me and I could tell it by the elation that radiated from her as I held her in my arms.

The moment she left my embrace, I knew I was in a world of trouble.

She transitioned from elation to hatred in mere seconds.

I was waiting for the fall out and the moment her hand hit my face, I knew this wasn't going to end well.

She danced around in pain and as much as I wanted to laugh at her for being so stupid to hit a vampire, I couldn't do it. My hand felt like it was broken and I tried as much as I could to hide the pain I felt from her.

"What the fuck was that for?" I yelled at her.

Then her gaze hit mine again and I felt my very own heart breaking. I hated that she could do this to me. I wanted to make her feel better and I knew that the only way to do so was to be patient, let this unfold the way it needed to.

She finally said the words that I knew were coming.

"How fucking dare you Jacob Black. How dare you come back into my life like this and think that just by hugging me makes the past two years go away. Do you know what you did to me all this time? I loved you so much and you left me. You fucking left me!"

How could I explain to her the reasons behind betraying her? She never understood beforehand. Her way of dealing with it was to leave me to my own loneliness… and hers too.

I finally found the words I wanted to say to her since the day I saw her with James at the café. I had to tell her how I felt and that I needed her with me. I didn't want to pressure her though. She needed space to figure this out.

"Bella, please try to understand why I did what I did. I wanted to be able to protect you from anything. I couldn't bear to lose you and in the end, I lost you anyway. I'm only here asking for your forgiveness. I'm not asking you to take me back, but I really miss you so much."

I wanted to reach to her, wanted her back in my arms again. She felt so right molded into my embrace and if she forgave me, I'd never let her go again. I needed her in my life regardless of the pain we put each other through.

The thought occurred to me that she had not left yet. She had plenty of opportunity to move from me but she stood before me as though she needed to do this too. Her eyes were pleading for relief, forgiveness, wanting and most of all she needed to know I wouldn't leave her again.

"You miss me too, don't you Bella?" Jacob asked me. "You miss me enough to stand her in front of me and not run away. You could have so many times in this conversation, but you haven't yet."

She stood with her mouth gaping wide open. She knew I was right. She wanted so bad to say that I was wrong but she couldn't. I knew her better than she knew herself and I wanted her to understand that I felt it too.

She finally said the words I'd been dying to hear all these years.

She wanted to be with me too.

She needed me too.

If I had a heart, it would have fluttered and swelled with so much love at that one moment.

"Bella, I swear to you, I won't let anything happen to you. I will always be here for you. I'm never leaving your side again."

My arms embraced her tight again and I felt her shutter again. I hoped that it wasn't for the cold.

"Jacob, how did you find me?"

"Edward. He saw you standing out here on the cliffs. He was watching you for me to make sure you were ok."

She laughed. God how I missed that so much.

"So you've been stalking me huh?"

"Not exactly. I didn't even know you were in Seattle until the other day. I saw you at a café with someone."

She fell silent for a moment and then backed away from my embrace again.

"James, he's gone missing and I don't know what to do about it."

I couldn't tell her. I needed to but I had her back in my arms and I couldn't let that go. I needed to tell her.

"Bella, we need to talk about something."

"Not now Jacob."

She put her arms back around me and held me tight to her. I followed her lead and just held her. I could wait to tell her. I just hoped she didn't hate me. I didn't do anything wrong. Edward couldn't keep his thirst to himself.

I pulled her into my lap as I sat down on a broken tree next to us.

Her face nuzzled into my neck. I all the sudden realized that I didn't crave her blood like I did with most humans. She smelled awesome but I didn't want to kill her.

Instead I wanted her in another way.

She pulled away and gazed back into my eyes. Hers were warm and I felt my coldness melt away just by looking into them.

I leaned into her, taking her bottom lip into mine and being ever so careful to not lose control. She wrapped her small arms around my neck pushing my head into hers and all the pain and hurt that I had caused her seemed to slip away again.

Her hands slipped down my shoulders and straight to ends of my shirt. Her warm hands pushed underneath the black T-shirt I wore and I felt her warm fingertips grazing the outlines of my muscles at my sides.

This time I was the one to shutter. It had been such a long time since I felt her touch me like she wanted me. I pulled her body closer to mine. She halfway stood in front of me then slowly eased her body back down on me, straddling me as she sat.

Her hands then pushed my shirt up even further and I took the hint that she wanted it off. I obliged and helped her. Her eyes seemed to light up and I felt like she was gawking at me.

I actually liked that.

Her lips met the skin on my neck with such a fierce needing I couldn't help but gasp at how awesome it felt. Her lips and tongue traced ever inch from my jaw line back down to my shoulders.

Her shirt needed to be off as soon as possible. She helped as I removed her shirt and my lips softly grazed every inch of her neck. I couldn't believe that I held so much restraint with her but I just wanted her back in my life. I could only focus on her being in my lap, shirtless, and wanting me the way I wanted her.

She whispered into my ears, "Is it possible for us to even be doing this – don't you want to kill me?"

I felt a giggle leave my lips as I whispered back, "I definitely don't want to kill you. However, I want to be inside of you so bad, it might kill me if I don't get there soon."

She giggled back at me. "Well, how can you die again? Isn't that against nature or something?" She laughed as she kissed my shoulder.

"I might just die, again, from sheer desire."

Suddenly, a noise came from the brush where I appeared. I slipped my shirt around Bella as Edward came from the clearing.

"Jacob, I'm really sorry to interrupt, but we have a situation back at the house," Edward said as he stepped out of the path.

Fuck.

"Edward, can't this wait?" I said through my teeth, frustrated as hell that he could cock block me like that.

"Actually, no. He's done."

"Who's done?" Bella asked me.

"No one," I said back to her.

"Jacob, don't you think you need to say something to her?"

"What? What do you need to tell me?" Bella asked, looking confused as hell.

She stood up to face both me and Edward head on – with my black T-shirt still covering her halfway.

**BellaPOV**

Something wasn't right. Jacob was being secretive. Edward claimed he was hiding something from me.

It didn't make any sense whatsoever.

"Who's done? What the hell Jacob. Tell me," I begged.

Edward's face looked distraught but it didn't hold a candle to Jacob's face expression.

He looked… scared.

"Bella, it's about James," Jacob finally said.

In the dead silence, all the details suddenly fell into place for me with a burst of intuition. Something Edward didn't want me to know. Something Jacob wouldn't have kept from me… It was never going to end, was it?

I felt myself get dizzy and before I realized what was happening, cold arms slipped under me as I fell to the ground.


	12. Chapter 12

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 12 – Changes**

_I try to get you up  
But you go down  
And you are not okay_

I wanna carry you  
But you won't get up  
It's really killing me  
You know it's killing me

I wanna join you sleeping peaceful  
Feeling the sun in our room  
What a plenty of rays and beaming light  
Surely, it does me good

I wanna trust the pulse  
In which decay is followed by bloom  
And I'm sure any flaw will turn out beautiful

_Blue Foundation – Watch You Sleeping_

**JacobPOV**

Bella's face expression said it all. She finally put all the pieces together and I knew she was going to be so angry with us when she woke.

Hopefully it wouldn't be before I got her back to the house.

Edward and I tore through the woods as I carried Bella in my arms. I knew bringing her back there was more than likely the biggest mistake I could make, but I couldn't leave her now. She needed to know the complete truth before she went to blaming me for the mistakes that Edward made.

He looked horrible. I knew he felt bad and I only hoped he could smooth things over.

We stopped short of the front door as Carlisle met us.

"What on earth has come over the two of you? Do you realize how dangerous it is to bring a human into the vicinity of a newborn?"

"I know Carlisle but she fainted in front of us. I couldn't leave her in the woods." I snapped back.

"Jacob Black, you should have left her with her father then."

"She knows Carlisle. I couldn't leave her knowing that her current boyfriend has turned into one of us. She's finally to the point of forgiving me and then Edward showed up."

"You told her? What on earth has come over the two of you the past couple of days? It's like the world has turned completely upside down and you have gone completely mad!"

Carlisle never got angry and it was odd to see him behave this way.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things complicated," I said as I hung my head.

As the argument continued, Bella began to wake in my arms.

"Jacob, take Bella into the garage. There is a couch in there and lay her down and grab a cold rag for her and place it on her head. Edward, I need you upstairs, now."

I rushed Bella around the front of the house to the garage. Once inside, I closed the door and placed her gently on the couch. In a flash I had her head in my lap and cold rag on her head.

She opened her eyes, and groggily tried to sit up. She finally got up and scooted away from me on the couch. Her eyes were puffy, red and I knew she was going to want an explanation. I only hoped it was enough.

"What the hell Jacob. Would you please explain to me what is going on?"

"Bella, I swear I had nothing to do with any of this. James came looking for Edward."

She was slouched over on the couch with her face in her hands. After a few moments of really scary silence, she finally sat back up and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"What happened, and don't leave anything out," she pleaded with me.

I sighed. "Jasper's friends came into town looking for fun. They ended up taking us to this Vampire club in Seattle. We were there for a short while and there were humans who were basically using us to get what they wanted, as we were using them for what we wanted in return. Lauren was there."

Her eyes got real big, "Lauren, my old lab partner?"

"Yes, she was a stripper there. Apparently one of Jasper's friends had a thing for her and she was the dancer."

"Do I really want to hear the rest of this?" she asked.

"Yes. It'll explain why Edward did what he did."

She still looked distraught. She cleared her throat, sighed and said, "Continue."

"Lauren was human, so obviously the thirst hit us like nothing else. Normally we can sustain it, but it was too much for all of us to endure. After we excused ourselves from the venture, we all agreed that we needed to drive to Forks to do some hunting."

"We got back to the apartment and all grabbed our car keys, except Edward, he originally had plans to ride with Emmett and Rosalie. After we left the building, he changed his mind and decided to drive anyway."

She kept listening and I hoped that was a good sign.

"James came to see Edward. He thought that you and Edward had a thing and he came to convince Edward to stay away. A fight ensued, not on Edward's part, and James got bit."

Her eyes welled up with tears the moment I blurted out the biting incident. She wiped them away quickly.

"So James attacked Edward for my benefit and Edward bit him. So basically it's my fault James got turned."

My heart broke as she started to endure the guilt that plagued her. She didn't need to feel guilty for the things that other people do.

"Bella, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself for other people's issues. James came to Edward without even telling you. Jasper's friends provoked our thirst. It was an unfortunate series of events none which you need to blame yourself for.

"I-If I'd been truthfully to James about my relationship with you, none of this would have happened. I didn't even tell him you were in Seattle even though I felt like you were. And when Edward came to me at the café…I should have said something."

She began to sob heavily. I took her into my arms and sat her on my lap as she cried into my shoulder.

"I knew I smelled a human down here," I heard a voice say.

Alice pranced down the steps to us.

"Not now, Alice. Bella needs a moment."

"It's ok, Jacob. I'm not going to hurt her. I just came to check on her. She seems like she could use a friend."

Bella's eyes lit up. She'd always loved Alice to death and I felt like I ruined their friendship the moment I made my decisions.

"Besides, Edward needs you upstairs. I'll keep her company."

"Thanks, Alice."

I kissed Bella on the forehead. "You going to be ok?"

"I don't know, but I'll try," she whispered to me.

I sat her back down on the couch as I stood. I hated to leave her like that but she didn't seem angry at me. She seemed more confused. I hoped Alice could smooth things over.

I took one more look at her as I headed to the door. I couldn't believe she was still here. I only hoped things would be right between us again.

**BellaPOV**

As I awoke on the couch I had every intention of telling Jacob Black to leave me the fuck alone and to never speak to me again. His face expression changed all that for me. He looked so sorry for what just happened and I couldn't find it in myself to be angry until I heard the complete story.

When I found out it was Edward who turned James and not Jacob, I felt better about what kind of person Jacob really was. I was pissed as hell at Edward but more so at Jasper's friends for creating this problem to begin with.

I also realized that maybe Jacob was trying to tell me on the cliff but I wouldn't let him tell me about it.

The moment I saw Alice prance down the stairs, I instantly felt better. I missed her so much and it was good to see her again.

"So, Bella, do you even realize how much I've missed my friend?" Alice said to me when Jacob left.

"Probably about as much as I missed mine," I said back.

She hugged me and said, "You know, Jacob hasn't gone a day without missing you. It's all he thinks about. After his thirst came under control, you were all he talked about for over a year. He's still madly in love with you."

"I know I just couldn't get past the whole betraying my wishes issue for a very long time."

Alice shook her head yes, "I understand that. But, look at it from his point of view for one second. He'd just lost the one person who he loved dearly. You didn't expect him to think rationally. Carlisle knew that if he didn't turn him, he'd find a far more dangerous vampire that could have killed him."

She had a point. At least he was alive, if you could call it that.

"Bella, I'm not making excuses for him but he does love you so much. I'm just so glad to see you tonight."

"Alice, what am I going to do? My current boyfriend is a vampire, my ex boyfriend is a vampire. I just feel like I'm alone again."

Alice let out an inappropriate giggle. "Sorry, but you think you are alone? You have friends and family who care about you a lot. You still have me as a friend, you always have. My family cares about you a ton… Jacob cares about you more than you realize. You are not alone."

I smiled at that notion. She was right. Through the past the past couple of years I had felt alone even though there were so many people who cared deeply about me and my well being. Jacob was the biggest one.

"Bella, everything will be ok. You'll see. I have seen great things for you and Jacob. I kept telling him over the past two years to be patient. Patience is a virtue, and he has absolutely the worst sense of patience I've ever seen in anyone. And for the love of all that is good, please tell him to quit wearing jeans and a black T-shirt. It is all he ever wears."

I laughed, "I'll do my best but I can't promise anything. I think he looks sexy as hell in them."

Alice made a gagging noise. "To each his own I guess," she said.

If I decided to stay with Jacob, let James go and be his own, what would it do to me?

For a brief period of time I contemplated what it would be like to have Carlisle change me himself. I missed Jacob that much and I quickly pushed it to the back of my mind once I thought about Charlie and how he would handle it if I suddenly disappeared.

I loved Jacob with all my being and I knew that if I didn't make some sort of decision soon, I would regret losing the love of my life again.

"Alice, I have a question."

"Yes, Bella, it hurts. It's one of the most painful experiences you'll ever go through in your life and you'll be begging to die. I've seen it happen a million times. Even James has gone through it and right now he's being watched. Newborns are very dangerous."

Alice and her all knowing got to me again.

"I've thought about it in all honesty Alice. I missed Jacob so much and I knew the only safe way to make this work would be to turn."

She smiled, "As much as I would love to have you in our family, you do have to realize what you are asking for. It's not like going to the dentist and having a tooth pulled. You don't get a second chance at this."

"I understand that. But if it came down to it, do you think Carlisle would do it?" I asked.

"I'm sure he would, but I don't think you need to worry about that right now. You need to concentrate on rebuilding your relationship before you start working on your immortality. Baby steps, Bella."

I hugged her. I needed words of encouragement.

"How long before I could talk to James, do you think?"

"It'll be out of the question for a while," Carlisle said from behind us.

I"I need to let him know that I'm sorry."

"We've explained the situation to James and he's actually handling it very well. Emmett and Edward are standing guard. Jacob and Jasper went hunting. They need their strength. Dealing with a newborn isn't an easy task."

"Thanks for everything you've done for Jacob. I'm sorry I wasn't there for him."

Carlisle smiled back at me. "We're glad you are working towards forgiving him. It can't be easy and I am sure he appreciates it."

As the afternoon progressed, both James and I were being guarded from each other. Jacob came to see me after his hunt was through and brought me dinner. I made a quick phone call to Charlie to let him know that I was with Jacob. He sounded elated when he found out that we were hanging out. If Charlie knew that I was sitting dead center in a deadly crew of vampires, I'm sure his outlook wouldn't be so happy.

Alice eventually called Charlie for me when I fell asleep on the couch and let him know that we were having a "girl's sleepover" at the house. I woke up not too long after she got off the phone with him. I felt cabin fever creeping up on me as the night progressed and I didn't like being held hostage in the garage.

I accepted the fact eventually that it was the best solution for me. At least I had Jacob protecting me.

I fell asleep sometime after midnight, with my head in Jacob's lap.

**JacobPOV**

James was being very difficult. He was very pissed off about everything and as Edward, Carlisle and I tried to smooth over the situation, it didn't seem to help any.

"What gives you the fucking right to decide my fate," he yelled at Edward as we had him backed into a corner.

"Fuck you, James. I'm not the one who came looking for a fight. I tried my damndest to tell you to leave before you got into something you couldn't handle."

James looked like a frightened animal as we tried to get close to him. I don't remember being this difficult as a newborn. Carlisle said I made the adjustment very well.

After what seemed like an eternity, James calmed down enough to settle into a conversation.

"Where is Bella?" he finally asked.

I had no idea how to explain this situation to him.

"She's fine. She knows what happened and she's dealing with it in her own way," Carlisle told him.

"She knew what you were, hell what I am now, and she' was ok with all this?" he asked.

"She wasn't exactly happy about the situation either, trust me," I said.

"You're Jacob, that guy who broke her heart aren't you?" James asked me.

Fuck. I stood before a newborn vampire, whose strength outweighed my own, and I had to answer the most difficult question of my life. If I lied, he'd know. If I told the truth, who's to say he wouldn't attack me.

"Yes," I simply said.

James actually burst into a fit of laughter. "So I guess me and you are on an even playing field now huh? She'll probably leave me like she left you. I assume it was because you were a vampire?"

"She did. She's finally reached the point of forgiveness though."

James shook his head no, "How can she forgive you so easily? She left you because you betrayed her. Or at least that's what she told me."

"She has forgiven me. She doesn't hate you either. She knows it wasn't your fault."

"When can I see her," he asked.

"It's probably not a good idea right now," Carlisle said.

"She's my fucking girlfriend," James yelled back as he lunged forward.

It took all the strength that Edward and I had to hold him back from Carlisle.

He finally calmed down enough again. "You can't keep her from me. We need to talk soon."

"We'll figure out some sort of arrangement, until then, you need to calm yourself down. All of us will take you hunting soon. We're not letting you out of this house, however, until you get your attitude and your mind under control," Carlisle said.

My biggest fear about that conversation that would eventually take place was that Bella would forget about me.

I left Edward, Emmett and Jasper to their guard post for James so I could check on Bella.

As I entered the garage, she was pacing back and forth.

"I'm about to lose my mind in this garage, Jacob. I'm slowly developing cabin fever and I need to get out."

"It's for your own good for now, Bella. It's almost midnight. Why don't you try getting some more sleep?"

I sat down on the couch as she curled up with her head on my lap. I slowly stroked her face with the back of my hand until she fell asleep. I couldn't believe that the most beautiful girl in the world lay in my lap, hopefully dreaming of something better for us in the future. I could have stayed like this for an eternity watching her sleep.

Eternity seemed like a great idea with this girl. Hopefully, she would one day have the same idea.

**BellaPOV**

The smell of the woods was all around me. The ever present sounds of nature enveloped me with my every being. The sounds of the creek flowed through my mind as the water washed away all my fears and anxieties of my life with Jacob. I stood with my hand extended to Jacob as we crossed the stream together.

We ran up the side of the small hill hand in hand as the sun began to break through the clouds that had plagued me for two years. My heart and my soul seemed to be mending with each step that we took and I knew that I had completely forgiven him for the pain and heartache he had put me through all those years without him.

We stood at the top of this hill with love and happiness radiating from our very beings. Jacob dropped my hands for one fleeting second and then his face expression turned first to fear and then anguish.

I looked over my right shoulder right before I felt the piercing pain of razors in my neck. Jacob mouthed the words "NO" but by then it was too late. I felt my flesh tear as the piercing pain took over my body and the feeling of fire ran through my veins.

I dropped to my knees as Jacob grabbed me into his arms. I looked up briefly to see dark red eyes beneath waves of blonde hair stare back at me with the look of thirst radiating from them.

I knew that was all it would take.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard a huge crash come from above me. Jacob was at the door of the garage, bowed up like he was about to attack.

"What the hell is going on up there?" I said.

"James got out of the room we had him in. Emmett, Edward and Jasper are trying to get to him but he's not cooperating. He caught your scent."

Extreme fear and panic came over me. I knew that if he got to me, there is not telling how far he could take it.

Jacob must have sensed my fears.

"Don't worry, he can't get to you. Last night Carlisle installed a double deadbolt on this door. The only way he can get through this door is by going through three inch steel. After that he'll have to deal with me."

I smiled up at him. "Thanks Jacob."

"Why are you thanking me? It's my job to protect you, Bella."

I felt myself blush. The crashing and banging stopped and I felt my fears ease up.

"I'll be right back, don't go anywhere," Jacob said. He unlocked two deadbolts and quickly shut the door behind him, locking both as he went.

I felt like a prisoner. I knew it was for my own protection but I felt like it wasn't fair that I had to be under lock and key when I had no part in any of this.

It seemed like forever before Jacob returned.

"We took James hunting. It was like having a dog on a shock collar. If he got too far away, one of us would grab him and wrangle him back in."

I actually found myself giggling from that. "Well, has he calmed down since then?"

"Actually yeah he has. He's pretty content in his room right now. I know you are dying to get out of this garage. Would you like to take a walk?" Jacob asked me.

"I would love to. I'm so sick of looking at cars and steel walls."

"What you don't like my car?" Jacob asked.

"Which one is yours?"

"It's the Aston Martin, right over there," he pointed out. It was a really nice car. It didn't seem like something Jacob would drive, but I was impressed.

"Alice gave it to me as sort of a birthday present."

I smiled, "She has good taste. She told me about trying to dress you better."

Jacob laughed. It felt good to be lighthearted.

"She's been trying for two years now, and each time she buys me clothes, it stays in the bag, in the closet. I could make some guy really happy with the wardrobe she's try to wrangle me into. I refuse though."

"I'm glad," I said. "I like the black T-shirt and tight blue jeans. Makes me… well… you know."

Jacob smiled again. I'm sure if he could have blushed, he would have.

He grabbed my hand as we headed out the garage into the woods.


	13. Chapter 13

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 13 – Price of immortality**

_If I had to lose a mile  
If I had to touch feelings  
I would lose my soul  
The way I do_

I don't have to think  
I only have to do it  
The results are always perfect  
And that's old news

Would you like to hear my voice  
Sprinkled with emotion  
Invented at your birth?

I can't see the end of me  
My whole expanse I cannot see  
I formulate infinity  
and store it deep inside of me

_Oh Me – Nirvana's Version_

_The sight of him, stronger, bigger and happier than his former shell of humanity seemed almost frightening to me. The very core of my own existence shuddered at the thought of his touch, but the burning desire to be in his arms again outweighed all the loathing and ill will I had towards him. I had told him from the very beginning that I hoped he enjoyed living in hell. I didn't realize, however, that the hell I damned him to became my own, too. I stood before him, arms open, ready to receive his embrace and not worried of what he could do to me. My biggest fear was not that he could kill me with one small bite, but that he could leave if I didn't agree to be like him. And that scared me more than death itself._

**JacobPOV**

_If I had known of the things that would take place later on that afternoon, I would have said more, done more, tried more and yet I couldn't. I never saw it coming… neither did all-seeing Alice. I couldn't believe it until it was too late._

_Now a decision needed to be made. It wasn't mine to make it…_

Her beautiful smile as she stared at me could have jumpstarted my heart back to life. Her small hands tangled into mine seemed like the best thing to happen to me in two years. I did not hate her for leaving me the way she did. She had her reasons and I was ok with them by now. I was the one who fucked up. I created my life for myself and even though I thought I was doing it for the both of us, I now realize I was being a selfish bastard.

She didn't need me inhuman. She needed me as Jacob, the boy she wanted to spend the rest of her own mortal life with. It took me forever to realize this and by some odd strange amount of luck, she was willing to forgive me for the things I'd done to her.

We laughed and talked all through the woods that afternoon. We both brought up the best times of our lives and it felt normal. It felt human for the first time in forever. She was reawakening the part of me I lost that night that Carlisle pushed poison into my veins.

The clouds began to separate as we reached the top of this beautiful grassy hill. She sat down next to me taking in the sunlight. I brought a huge blanket for us to sit on while we talked. It was one of the first warmer days so far this year. As the sparkles danced off my skin she turned to me and traced her finger down the side of my jaw.

"Jacob, you know, you are sort of beautiful. The way the sun dances off your skin as it soaks it in at the same time is hands down the most attractive thing I've ever seen."

I pulled her close to me as she fell to her back. I held her tightly, keeping her from completely hitting the ground as my lips pressed against hers. Her smell was the most amazing and alluring scent ever and I wanted to crawl inside of her and live there for all eternity. She kissed me back with such passion and I wanted her so much right then. Not just sexually, but emotionally, spiritually, completely – I just wanted her. I had absolutely not craving for her blood. I wanted her.

I slowly pulled my lips from hers, taking her bottom lip with me as she moaned.

_Oh god, that moan. _

I missed that more than anything. The way she would moan into my ear as we made love all those years ago would keep me from lasting too long with her. She was the sexiest thing ever.

"Jacob, is it possible for us to…"

She trailed her sentence and I knew what she wanted. I had no idea if we could or not. I never even questioned it and now that it was brought front and center, I wished I had "the talk" with Carlisle. It seems odd but at least I would have known what I was dealing with.

Her eyes were pleading. She wanted to do this. I wanted to do this. I didn't know if we could.

"Oh fuck it all," I said as I pulled her back close to me.

I all but ripped her shirt from her body and her pants flew across the hilltop as I completely came undone for her.

Before I even realized what was going on the both of us were laying completely naked on the grass, my lips carefully tracing every single edge of her body. She shivered each time I wrapped our bodies up in the blanket to keep her from freezing.

As I kissed down her neck to her shoulders, Bella let out another moan again. I couldn't keep this up much longer and I realized I was only torturing myself and her.

"Bella, we're going to try this and if I do something to hurt you, please let me know. Remember, I don't know my own strength with you."

Her brown eyes lit up with desire as I finally entered her slowly.

I couldn't move. My body literally wanted to shut down from the most amazing feeling in the world. I was so scared I would end too soon so I had to refocus my attention and concentrate. Her back arched as pushed further in. She let out the most amazing have scream, half moan. I wanted so bad to just fuck her until there was no tomorrow but I was so scared I'd hurt her. I could break a bone and not even realize I was doing it.

I slowed my pace down, as she moaned more and more.

"Oh, fuck, Jake… baby, ungh…"

That just about did me in too. I had to slow down again. She had no idea how much this was killing me.

"Bella, am I hurting you?" I asked.

She looked up at me after her eyes finished rolling in the back of her head.

"No, but you'll be hurting soon if you don't fuck me harder," she whispered.

_Oh my fucking God._

I did what she wanted. I fucked her harder. And harder, till I had no idea if I was even hurting her. Apparently I wasn't. She just kept moaning and calling my name.

I couldn't do it anymore. I felt her tightness tighten even more around me as she came all over me. It was the next best thing I've ever felt in my life – as if being inside of her wasn't enough for me.

I had no idea if every part of my body contained venom so instead of finishing inside of her, I had to finish myself off. She watched me as I did and that just helped complete everything for me. My head jerked back as I finished.

"Damn, Bella, oh, fuck…"

She sat there with her legs drawn up to her small frame again with the covers wrapped all around her. She had a goofy grin stretched across her face as she glowed with a happiness I'd only seen from her in my human form. She was happy. That was my biggest goal in life. I accomplished it yet again and I wanted to high-five myself or some shit.

I reached for our clothes and I quickly got dressed, like lightning and helped her find her things as she got dressed inside the blanket. After we were both decently dressed, she walked up to me, grabbing my waist and drawing me closer to her.

Her lips pressed firmly against mine.

She pulled back as the most endearing and yet beautiful smile filed across her lips. The sun settled behind a row of clouds over her shoulder.

I didn't even notice that we were being watched until it was too late.

I saw him, a set of red eyes staring us down like an animal stalking its prey. His eyes were cold, calculating – he held anger so fierce I couldn't, hell, didn't know how to react to it.

Before I could push Bella away, he jumped at her, and as his teeth tore into her flesh, my own instincts to protect her took over and I snatched her away from his hold as she fell limp into my arms.

James stood before me, lips and chest covered in Bella's blood and as my angel lay bleeding in my arms, fear overcame me. Then severe anger took its place.

I lay Bella down softly onto a bed of leaves as her body twitched and lurched from the venom as it entered her bloodstream.

"Ha, now we're even," James said. "I didn't ask for this, and neither did Bella. Me and you Jacob Black, are on an even playing field now."

I jumped straight for him, pushing him against a tree with so much force shards of splinters flew out from behind him

My hands wrapped around his neck daring him to move from me. Before I could wrap my teeth around his jugular, a hand reached for me.

Carlisle and the rest of the Cullen men were standing around me while Alice and Rosalie attended to Bella.

"Go to Bella, now. She needs you. We'll figure out what to do with James."

I shot straight over to Bella and held her in my arms. Blood poured out of her wound as she screamed and nearly choked on her tongue as she convulsed from the pain. The smell didn't bother me but I could see it was making Rosalie and Alice very uncomfortable.

"Bella, oh God baby. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have taken you out of that room. I'm so sorry." If I could have cried, my eyes would have been drenched in tears. The love of my life was slowly slipping away in front of me and I hated myself for not upholding my promise to her; to always protect her no matter what.

"Jacob you need to make a decision now. The wound isn't deep. We could suck the venom out… or you could let the change happen," Alice said with pleading eyes.

I stared into the eyes of my girl. I did not want her to become like me until she was ready and wanted to be with me. I didn't want that decision made for her.

"No, she can't be like us. She needs to live her life, be happy with her mortality. I will not take her life!"

As soon as the words poured out of my mouth, Bella screamed to me,

"Jacob, leave me be, let me be like you…"

**BellaPOV**

For a moment, it seemed like a dream. The pain reminded me that I wasn't dreaming and as soon as I realized exactly what was happening to me, panic set in.

My thoughts went straight to Charlie. I was going to miss my father who would begin to wonder why his daughter had not come home to see him.

I thought of Jacob and the pain the must be going through at the sight of me.

I thought of James and the pain he must have gone through during his transformation and I began to feel sorry for the man who just took my life. He was hurting in the emotional sense enough to take my life, the girl he supposedly loved and gave so much patience towards. It seems like his patience began to wear off after his transformation.

Tears began to stream out of my eyes as I lay in those leaves. I knew that the decision was being made over me. I wanted so badly to tell Jacob to leave me, let this happen, but he wanted to save my mortal life.

A part of me wanted him to.

The other part, the part that wanted to be with him for all eternity, told my rational part to shut the fuck up.

Eternity is what I wanted with Jacob, not matter how it was handed to me.

I could see the pleading in Alice's eyes for Jacob to make the decision. Jacob kept looking back and forth between me and Alice.

"No, she can't be like us. She needs to live her life, be happy with her mortality. I will not take her life!"

_Now he decides to be the morality police._

It took every single bit of energy I had left in me to scream out to him to let me be, let me become what I was about to be for the rest of eternity.

His eyes looked down at me, dark with anger and sadness. He looked as though he wanted to cry and I was doing enough for the both of us.

Alice was doing her best to calm me down and as I looked to my right, I saw Carlisle and Jasper take James each by arm and Emmett held him from behind as they dragged him off to the woods.

"Please, don't let them hurt him," I whispered to Jacob.

"Bella, he just hurt you… hell, killed you right in front of us. He needs to be taken care of," Jacob pleaded with me.

"Jacob, don't let them hurt him. He's in pain himself Jacob. He just lost his life also. He's not thinking straight… please…"

Then the venom began to take over my body to the point to where I couldn't whisper anymore. Jacob lifted me off the ground and ran with me to the house.

I saw hints of green and grey as we crossed the woods until I realized we were inside the Cullen house. I closed my eyes and it felt like I was placed ever so carefully on the couch.

I fell into my own venom induced coma as my body began to slowly die. First, I felt as my legs seemed to stiffen. Each beat of my heart pushed more and more of the venom through my veins. It seemed like forever until my arms became heavy with numbness. At least it wasn't pain I felt anymore, but a fiery urgency to end this fast.

The hours seemed to dredge on as I heard Jacob begging Carlisle for a time. He never left my side. I tried not to focus on them talking but only on my forever with Jacob.

I wonder what caused me to not hate James. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't ask for this either. I thought about if the tables were turned. Would I have done the same thing out of anger and out of confusion of my existence?

I came to the conclusion that I would have.

I only prayed that they listened to my advice and left James alone.

**JacobPOV**

I hated to see her like this. She was in so much pain and I wanted to trade sides with her, I wanted her to be ok. I tried so hard to focus on my forever with Bella. She was the love of my life, if you could call it that. I needed her to be whole.

I just hoped she forgave all of us for creating this problem for her.

Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett let James go. I was so angry I punched a hole in the wall of the living room when I realized what they had done. They let my girlfriend's killer walk away without the least bit of reprimanding for what he had done. Carlisle said that it was Bella's wish. She held such compassion for this boy and that worried me.

They dropped him off with a family of Vampires quite like ours in the frozen tundra of Alaska. They figured he'd be safe there and it would be safely away from humans.

It was surreal as the hours passed. Alice kept me company most of the time. She brought me things to read and as Bella's breathing became more labored, I knew it was close.

Carlisle checked in every fifteen minutes it seemed and I was so grateful for his help. I wanted this to be over with as soon as possible and as it got closer, it still seemed to be further away.

I stepped away for a bit as sitting with her became emotionally overbearing for me. I walked out on back porch overlooking the woods as the sun was coming up over the horizon. It had been so many hours since I watched James take the life of the girl I loved and as the light hit my skin, I knew the next time Bella saw sunlight, she would look like that.

She would be a cold blooded killer, just like the rest of us.

I was so angry I slammed my hands down on the wooden rail as he shattered into pieces under me.

A familiar voice behind me said my name, and Alice came prancing out of the house.

"Jacob, I know you are angry and I know you are hurting. But there is something you need to understand. If James hadn't of done it, you or Carlisle eventually would have. She wanted it this way. She asked all kinds of questions just two days ago about what happens. She wanted it. You can't feel bad for her."

I looked into Alice's caring eyes as she smiled at me.

Bella did tell me to stop, to let her be like us.

"Ah, much better," Alice said. "Now that your mind isn't clouded with hate and unhappiness, I see great things for the two of you."

She hugged me and danced back into the living room.

I heard a voice call for me, "Jacob, come quick, we need you…"

And as I walked into the living room, my mouth dropped at the sight before me.

"Edward, love, she's fine." Esme said.

Bella was sitting up with a smile on her face. Her eyes were blood red and her skin pale as a sheet. The rings under her eyes were grey and blue but she still looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Jacob, don't worry, everything is going to be ok," Bella said softly to me.


	14. Chapter 14

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 14 – The New Prince of Darkness**

_Can you feel her  
Running through your veins  
She will always live forever  
(can you bear the burden)_

Atreyu – Her Portrait In Black

**A/N: Take that KM3 ;) Love you lady!**

**JamesPOV**

The pain. That is all that I can seem to remember. It burned just like the fiery pits of a millions hells. All I could think of was how on earth this could be happening to me. All I wanted to do was tell Edward to back the fuck off from Bella and me but I didn't expect this. I'd made my small fortune serving beverages to those who wanted to pretend to be a vampire. Never in my life did I expect to meet one – or even become one myself.

As the poison coursed through my veins all I could think of was how on earth I was going to explain all this to Bella.

If she had kept this from me then our entire relationship was built upon one lie or another. She didn't hate Jacob for what he was. She hated him for what he had become. How on earth could I have competed with an immortal? Apparently I could take him head to head now.

But Bella would be in the crossfire.

I could feel my body tightening as my muscles and everything inside of me began to slowly die. I wanted to scream for her. I wanted to let her know that I was extremely angry with her for everything she had done to me.

The worst part of the pain came when I realized that if she rejected Jacob for what he had become, I was damn sure she'd do it to me too.

As I opened my eyes complete for the first time since I arrived in this place, which I assumed was the Cullen residence; I saw things like I'd never seen them before.

The brightness of the sunshine came through the window panes and as I looked around the room, I saw the concerned faces of each one of the Cullens. I felt this overwhelming desire come over me. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I craved something completely different. I craved… blood.

I hated the smell of it for many years. The sight of it made me squirm and yet the deep seeded desire to taste it was burning the back of my throat. I felt like I was on fire.

I stood up from the couch and growled. I actually fucking growled at Edward. He was the cause of all this and I wanted nothing more than to rip out his throat. A tall blonde guy and short black haired buff guy stood in front of Edward almost as if to defend him.

I crouched down, ready to pounce and take Edward on and in one swift moment, the blonde and black haired guys had me pinned to the corner.

"What gives you the fucking right to decide my fate," I screamed at Edward in sheer frustration and anger.

Edward spat back, "Fuck you, James. I'm not the one who came looking for a fight. I tried my damndest to tell you to leave before you got into something you couldn't handle."

"Where's Bella?" I screamed out.

"She's fine. She knows what happened and she's dealing with it in her own way," the blonde doc said to me.

"She knew what you were, hell what I am now, and she' was ok with all this?" I yelled.

"She wasn't exactly happy about the situation either, trust me," a voice said.

"You're Jacob, that guy who broke her heart aren't you?" I asked as he walked in front of him.

"Yes."

For a short and very brief moment I actually felt sorry for the bastard that hurt my Bella. Then I burst into laughter.

"So I guess me and you are on an even playing field now huh? She'll probably leave me like she left you. I assume it was because you were a vampire?"

"She did. She's finally reached the point of forgiveness though."

I shook my head, "How can she forgive you so easily? She left you because you betrayed her. Or at least that's what she told me."

"She has forgiven me. She doesn't hate you either. She knows it wasn't your fault."

"When can I see her," I asked.

"It's probably not a good idea right now," Carlisle said.

"She's my fucking girlfriend," I yelled as I lunged forward towards Carlisle and Jacob.

"You can't keep her from me. We need to talk soon."

"We'll figure out some sort of arrangement, until then, you need to calm yourself down. All of us will take you hunting soon. We're not letting you out of this house, however, until you get your attitude and your mind under control," Carlisle said.

I was escorted up the stairs to a small office that overlooked the forest.

"I think it's best if you stay in here," Edward said.

"What gives you the fucking right to keep me here like some sort of prisoner?" I spat back at him.

"We're doing it for your safety, and for Bella's safety."

"Bella, what the hell does she have to do with it?" I asked.

"You are a newborn. It'll take months, maybe years for you to control your thirst long enough."

I ran my fingers through my hair again and quickly realized that I may have to just agree with this. For now.

"Fine but I want to see her as soon as possible."

The hours dragged on and I wanted nothing more than to see Bella. I needed to sort all this out. It wasn't fair that I had to be stuck like this. She needed to know that I still loved her and wanted to be with her.

But something more difficult was developing in me. I wanted to… taste her. I envisioned her pinned up against the wall, my teeth deep into her throat.

"AHHHHH FUCK!" I screamed out. I couldn't think like this. It wasn't fair to her. She didn't need this fate.

However, if Bella was immortal like me, then maybe…

_How dare you think like that James? How dare you. She didn't ask for this._

_But she did keep this secret from me._

Everything I once thought knew about life was quickly fading in front of me.

I paced back and forth in the room. I looked every which way to see if there was some sort of way out. There had to be no room is inescapable.

I noticed a small crawl space in the ceiling above me. I jumped up as high as I thought I could and realized I was a lot stronger than I once was. My ability to jump had even become increased and I found myself hanging from the ceiling, and the now open crawl space.

I was up in the attic and found a small window. I flung it open and crawled down the side of the house using the windows as my grasping points.

I stopped and put my nose into the air and quickly found a familiar scent. It smelled just like Bella.

_Stupid Cullens let her out of their sight. _

I quickly followed the scent and then saw prints. I put my nose to the ground and picked up more of Bella's scent. I felt like a huge dog for this ability but I soon realized that my new found gifts could one day come in handy.

As I slowly crept up a hill I saw her. She was sitting beside Jacob. His arms embraced her tightly and the urge to kill them both slowly crept over me. I wanted him dead. But Bella, I wanted to kill her in a different way. I wanted her immortal just like me. I wanted her to be on an even field with me.

I waited for my opportunity. She stood up, with a huge smile on her face. Jacob also looked content. It took me to seconds to realize why they were both in great moods. You could still smell the sex in the air.

I waited until her back was to me and then leapt for her. My teeth dug deep into her neck and I heard her cry out into pain. As she fought me and as Jacob tried his damndest to pull me off her, I wanted to stop but the blood tasted so good dripping down the back of my throat. Oh well, I guess she would be a casualty in all this anyway.

Then two sets of hands snatched me off her. The bigger of the Cullens threw me against a tree and held me there.

I watched as Bella shook and convulsed on the ground. I had given her the one thing I never knew existed. I gave her mortality. I heard Jacob command the Cullens to kill me, but then Bella did something I didn't expect.

She begged them to spare my life.

The little bit of humanity I had left in me realized what I had done. Even though I tried to get back at her, she didn't fault me for my pain and frustration. She wanted to forgive me. Her eyes met mine and I instantly felt horrible for taking her life. All she wanted was to be happy and I just took away something she could never get back.

The Cullens snatched me off the tree and drug me through the forest.

"Where the fuck are you taking me?" I hissed.

"Bella won't let us kill you so I'm granting her dying wish. That's exactly what you've done you son-of-a-bitch. You've killed her. You better thank your lucky fucking stars that she won't let us do the same to you," Emmett said as he had me by the shoulder.

"Where are you taking me?"

"We're taking you up north, to Alaska. We have friends that live up there. They'll do you some good. Hopefully they'll teach you to have some sort of humanity."

"Humanity, you've got to be fucking kidding me. We're killers unless you've not realized it by now. It's in our nature to kill. Let me go. Let me be on my own."

"Not a chance. Not this close to others. I think you've lost your fucking mind if you think we are going to let you go near town."

We made Alaska by nightfall. I didn't realize how fast we really could be."

We stood before a small cabin in the woods.

"Welcome to your new home."

Emmett knocked on the door. A beautiful woman stood before me with long blonde hair.

"This must be James. We've been expecting you."

I didn't know what to think. She was beautiful, I give them that. But I didn't realize that so many vamps existed in the world.

"Well, Tanya you've got your work cut out for you. Good luck," the curly haired Jasper said.

"Oh I think we've got this," she said.

I watched as Jasper and Emmett ran away.

**A/N: So this is dedicated to KM3 for her die hard patience. Love you lots lady! Enjoy!**


	15. Chapter 15

**~*BROKEN PROMISES*~**

**Chapter 15 – Bella's New Life**

_Can you feel her  
Running through your veins  
She will always live forever  
(can you bear the burden)_

Atreyu – Her Portrait In Black

**A/N: Take that KM3 ;) Love you lady!**

**BellaPOV**

I looked into the concerned eyes of every single person standing inside that room with me. Their eyes showed more emotion than I thought that they could harvest from their cold, dead bodies.

Me, oh I was peachy keen.

Well, for a vampire.

As I heard the deep breathes that were taken around me, I felt like each one of them were on pins and needles, waiting to see what my next move would be. I knew what I wanted. I wanted… revenge.

James. That son of a bitch knew what he was doing. He knew that turning me would be his little revenge on Edward. Little did he know that making me a vampire was the one thing I wanted more than my own life. Fuck what everyone else had to say in the matter.

I looked over to where Jacob stood. His hands were shoved in his pocket and his face looked defeated. I wanted to reach out to him and comfort him so bad. He looked so sad, almost in mourning over me. He had no reason to mourn though. I was still here, in the flesh, be it cold, but still here for him regardless.

I looked over to Carlisle and Edward and they both waited with baited breath, wondering, watching, waiting. It was quite fascinating to watch the two of them operate. They were so much alike in their mannerism.

Finally, I let out a sigh.

"Jacob Black," I hoarsely squeaked out, "get your ass over here and give me a hug, please."

Jacob all but jumped towards me and grabbed me up into his arms and squeezed me tightly.

"Oh Bella, baby. I'm so sorry. I feel horrible for letting that asshole get a hold of you." If Jacob could cry I'm sure he'd flood my shirt with tears.

"Jake, it's okay sweetie. I'm ok. Well, as okay as I can be, you know being dead and all."

I heard a snicker from the corner and realized Emmett was also in the room. "Yeah, she's fine. She still has the attitude."

Jacob squeezed me again and we just sat, holding each other.

Carlisle finally spoke up. "Bella, are you hungry?"

"Actually, I am a little, but I think I can hold off for a bit. I need to talk to Edward for a bit, alone please if you guys don't mind."

Jacob looked a little hurt, but he nodded.

As soon as everyone left the room, I looked up at Edward and smiled.

_Can you hear me still?_

Edward nodded his head.

_Good, where the fuck did they take James?_

"They took him to Denali," he whispered to me.

_Well here's the deal. James will not live to see another sunrise if I have anything to do with it. He just made a huge fucking mistake and it's time I fucking fixed everything wrong I've created._

Edward nodded again.

_I need a way to distract Jacob. I want you and Jasper to come along with me. I don't think I can do this on my own._

"Are you sure about this?" Edward whispered.

_I'm very sure about this. _

The plan was set in motion. Rosalie and Alice would find a reason to "need" Jacob to help them with something and the moment I was out of his sight, I would take off to Denali. First thing was first though. I was beginning to get hungry.

"Bella, it's the simplest thing in the world," Jacob said to me as we stood in the woods.

"Close your eyes. Now breathe deep." I took a deep breath and I could smell the leaves, the trees and blood. It burned the back of my throat with such force I lunged right for it. I sped through the woods and stopped right upon a mountain lion. He didn't even have time to fight me. I stood up, soaked in blood as Jacob laughed.

"You are a natural born hunter, Bells. Straight for the Jugular, too. I'm very impressed baby." I smiled at him and we continued our hunt. Not only was Jacob in shock at how well I was doing, but so was Edward and Carlisle as they stood at the edge of the woods watching us.

I looked over at Carlisle and Edward and nodded and they nodded back. I was ready.

"Jacob," Edward yelled. "Alice and Rosalie need your help with something. They can't seem to get a part off Rosalie's car. I would help but I don't know shit about it."

Jacob paused for a moment as though he knew something was up and shrugged it off. He jogged into the garage and I was ready to take off.

The moment he was out of sight, Edward nodded at me. Emmett and I jumped across the stream and ran as fast as our legs could carry us. I never knew what it was like to not feel pain but I could run forever if I were allowed to. We stopped right at the border between Washington State and the oceanic gap that followed to Alaska. I stood staring at the frigid water trying to figure out how we would cross. Emmett laughed.

"What do you think you are going to do? You can swim right? Not that it matters. You won't drown." And with that Emmett jumped into the water and swam as though he were a fish. I followed right behind him and found it easy to swim. We made it across the water and into the foreign world known as Alaska. We were only gone for a couple of hours and once we made it to Denali, I stood outside the house that the Denali coven owned.

Emmett looked up at me and said, "I'll help protect you but you've got to do this on your own."

I whistled. No sooner had I whistled than four beautiful women stared at me right in the face.

"Can I help you," the blonde one said.

"Actually you can. I'm looking for James. He has something that belongs to me."

"And that would be?" the brunette spoke up.

"He has my life. I want it back. He took it from me and didn't even give me a chance to make up my mind. I want it back." No sooner had I spoke the words then James jumped through the door.

"What do you want?" he asked as he stared me down.

"You know what I want. You caused this," I said, pointing to my body. "I'm no longer myself. I'm someone that has to pretend their human, that they live. How can I explain to my father why I can't see him anymore. You did this!"

James laughed. "No, you are wrong. Those little friends of yours did this to you. If you'd just left Jacob and them alone, we'd both be someone different. I loved you Bella, but you made the worst decisions ever. And it cost us our lives. So in essence, you caused this… not me."

James snarled at me as the girls surrounded him. I went to lunge for him but was knocked backwards by two of the girls. I jumped right back up ready to fight. I took a swing at the blonde and was ready to knock her head off when I heard something from behind me.

"No, stop, just leave it alone."

Jacob had followed me. As I turned to look at him, the brunette jumped on my back and began twisting my arm behind me. Jacob stopped dead in his tracks with Edward right behind him. Edward looked upset.

"He figured it out real quick. He's pretty damn smart Bella."

Jacob walked up to the brunette and said, "If you let her go, I'll leave James alone. This stops now."

The brunette looked at Jacob and slowly let my arm free. She pushed me into Jacobs arms as the blonde let Emmett go.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?" I asked. He looked at me deep into my eyes. "I'm here to keep you from making a mistake. You can't blame James for what you are. If you want to blame someone, blame me. I shouldn't have done the things that I did and I'm so sorry Bella." Jacob looked as though he could cry.

It was then that I realized that I couldn't blame James for anything. He was a casualty of this war just like I was. I looked at James and said, "You know, Jacob is right. For a brief moment, I hated you. I hated you because you took away my life but now I see that you've actually given me the opportunity to live mine with Jacob."

James nodded. "Bella, I really did love you. I loved you more than anything on this earth but I now realize that I could never compete with Jacob. Go now, live your life and I'm going to be okay here."

I nodded as I grabbed Jacob's hand. I looked back once more at James and said, "Thank you."


End file.
